AMC's "Hell on Wheels"

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41

Here’s my thoughts on things:

  • I think we’re supposed to think the wife buried the maps in the husband’s grave, but IMHO it’s too obvious. If I were her, and if I knew someone wanted those maps, I’d bury them in the grave next to the husband’s grave, and then make a show of digging around in my husband’s grave to throw anyone off.

  • Though I like Common, I swear some of the writing is just weak. Like he’s talking to tattoo girl and asking her if her tattoos hurt when they were applied. Do you really think a man who used to be a slave would have any questions about whether or not something hurt? I’m pretty sure he would be familiar with stuff that hurts.

  • The peepshow idea did seem a bit stupid. I thought the one brother was going to film a whore or take pictures and make THAT their new show - essentially, I thought he was going to invent the peepshow movie house. Guess I need to dial down my ideas a bit.

  • I don’t find Bohanon that particularly interesting a main character.

I also agree that the pace is pretty slow. And it looks like next week (spoiler) they’re going to have a fight club episode. Oh boy.

42

maps

They spoiled the map thing in one of the previews

43

While I’m enjoying the show, the preview reminded me painfully of the stupid boxing match episode from Battlestar Galactica.

44

Ugh, the boxing episode from BSG… I had successfully blocked that.

And Athryn, I don’t ever watch promos for upcoming episodes so if something was revealed there I wouldn’t have seen it. I guess that means I’ll find out soon enough what happened to them, though.

45

Well the boxing didn’t turn out to be as terrible as BSG, and they even snuck in a couple of small plot points to make the entire thing a little more meaningful. Still, it felt like another fairly wasted episode as we march West at the same glacial pace as the actual railroad.

Previews for next week seem to indicate some forward progress though, unless they were showing previews for the rest of the season and not a single episode.

46

What the hell is with maplady’s moan scenes. Holy shit, she’s moaning from pain or sex in every scene but one. I mean come ooooon, give her a fuckin line or two.

47

Having not seen the BSG scene, I cannot compare, but I thought it was pretty weak. I could not see Bohannon’s face through his matted, sweaty hair the whole time. And the whole, I am not gonna fight---->“inspired” speech—>comeback was lame.

Having her brilliantly figure out and then state, “This whole fight was contrived to distract from the payroll being late, wasn’t it?” scene…also lame.

I guess I am a sucker for Westerns, because I am still liking it and will stick it out at least a little longer.

EDIT: The boxers were quite fit, I would say. Meeeeowwww!

48

Good call on the lead’s name. I’m only thinking of him as Jonah Hex some of the time now.

Twenty minutes into the episode. What the christing hell magical knowledge did this consumption addled fool have? It’s a goddamn flat plain and you’ve got the backing of the United States federal government. I’m pretty sure that even if you do accidentally fudge on one side or the other of the property line, somebody will be along to help you out.

Also, way to start out the episode, Hell on Wheels. Now my nipples hurt vicariously. That cat also looked a little bit well fed for what they were doing, to my knowledge. If the Sun Dance works like the hanging suspension stuff this one guy I went to college with did, you’re supposed to fast for a considerable time beforehand, which loosens up the skin, so that when they jam those fishhooks through you, they don’t have to go through, you know, muscle fiber.

The Swede is also still a little hard to take seriously, but I’m starting to think that’s the point. He’s quite hilarious. Also, what is the little blonde Irish kid for? He doesn’t read, he doesn’t have any entrepreneurial spirit. Is he secretly Morgan Freeman once they get the slideshow going?

Edit: And then I got to the end. You know what show I really appreciate? Lights Out. Because that show made me seriously fucking concerned about a boxing match. And it felt real. Authentic. It wasn’t just two idiots standing across from one another and taking turns like a pair of big smelly, only occasionally sentient punching bags. And why are they re-wrapping Common’s wrists? I would think that you would not want to do that in the middle of a fight.

However, more to the point, WHO THE SHIT BLEW UP THE GODDAMN POWDER? That didn’t catch fire from nothing, and that much of it was expensive. Shouldn’t somebody here be casting about just a little bit to find out how that happened? You’d think they’d string up the moron who blew up all those people and all that money.

Also, I really, really wish that Only Whore with a Personality didn’t have that whole face thing going on, because if she didn’t look like Skeletor she’d be really quite pretty.

49

Scene - the writers’ room, hashing out the latest script:

Writer 1: Okay, so, Henry Clay here has to give a speech to the crowd wherein he strongly implies that he’ll whup up on them injuns if’n they get out of line. Only, you know, fancier.

Writer 2: “…but if they want a fight, we’ll give them a fight they won’t soon forget.”

Writer 1: No, no - we have to prospector it up some.

Writer 2: Scrap? We could go with scrap.

Writer 1: Nah - that’s not enough.

Writer 2: Donnybrook?

Writer 1: It’s not a Bug Bunny cartoon, dipshit.

Writer 2: Uhhh…a…errr…scrap they won’t soon…uhhh…disremember?

Writer 1: GOLD!

Really, show? Really? You make it so hard for me to take you seriously when you clown me like that.

50

That word did kind of stand out. Maybe they’re trying to make him sound like an olde timey George W Bush.

51

Also, and I’m kind of shocked that this is just jumping out at me now - why is everything always muddy? Particularly in the cut? I mean, it hasn’t rained recently, has it? I could almost understand it in town, but it doesn’t look wet at all in the countryside. At least on the other AMC shows, when something seems out of place, they try to explain it. Are they hosing down the cut or do all the workers have some sort of severe sweating disorder or what? Because if there’s digging involved, I would think that adding a bunch of water would make it harder. In fact, I know that it would make it harder, because I’ve had to shovel wet dirt and dry dirt in the same week, and the wet dirt? That was harder.

52

The cut always seems to be lower than the surrounding countryside, and water runs downhill. It didn’t rain all through WWI, yet people still got trenchfoot.

53

The sad thing is, I think I really like this show. I want to know what’s going to happen to Common. I’m interested to see what Mr. Swede is playing at with Bohannon. I was legitimately jazzed for the whole race. But there are things they drop that they need to explain. Like every single place people are being muddy. Or why that load of black powder blew up, and how come it doesn’t seem to have been a big deal.

54

Black powder blew up on accident, it is unstable. And people were pretty dirty back in the days before indoor plumbing.

55

Ever been on a trail after a couple hundred hikers go through? It turns into mud, just from people walking. Horses and digging and moving heavy rails presumably speeds up the process.

Have you just never been outside the city? The mud is probably the least unrealistic thing on the show.

I generally like the show, but Colm is still annoying and the pacing is a too slow. I know that’s the new in thing, but there’s a line between taking your time and barely having anything happen in each episode that I think they’re on the wrong side of.

56

Season Two.

Getting tired of Colm Meany soliloquizing at anybody within shouting distance, but that’s really my biggest objection at this point.

57

Not really. Keep it away from heat/flame and it’s just as stable as modern smokeless powder. I was also puzzled why the powder casks blew up.

58

I am really enjoying the show (so far 6 episodes in) and I don’t have any issues with Colm Meaney’s speeches ( I’ve always liked him since TNG).

Its the best western on TV today! :p

59

You’re right of course, I was thinking of Nitroglycerin, which was invented around the time period and was used on the Transcontinental RR, and was prone to go boom.

60

In the episode, it just seemed to me like Irish there should be losing his shit after throwing such a fit over money and buying the stuff to begin with. It’s like they forgot a scene where one of Mr. The Sweed’s dudes tossed a match the wrong direction or something.

And I suppose I should clarify - I don’t have a problem with Meany. He’s doing exactly what the part is demanding of him, and the one episode where he wasn’t just playing Irish Snidely Whiplash the Land Baron he did an exceptional job (the one where that guy that isn’t Henry Clay theoretically has him under his thumb). My problem is with the way the character is being written, as some sort of oratory-wielding terrorist, assaulting the innocent and guilty alike with his ponderous fusillades of words that were obviously, plainly written by a guy sitting in a room.

But, just to make sure it’s noted, it’s renewed for a second season, so hopefully that character in particular will get nailed down a little bit tighter during the break.

Edit: As I watch this latest episode, I’m still quite enjoying the little bromance between Common and Jonah Hex Bohannon whatever the actor’s name is, but I’m starting to wonder what purpose the blonde woman who is clearly being dolled up by the makeup department to be exponentially more attractive than any other female creature on the entire show could possibly be. Is there even a remote chance that old Bohannon doesn’t end up inside her before the end of the second season?