07 Predictions!

Games
1

Post yours, the wilder the better. =)

Duke Nukem 4 still doesnt ship

Jon Johansen creates the killer app for the ‘Add on OS’ feature of the PS3, allowing the external x360 HD drive to be used with linux making the PS3 technically the first machine to play both Blue Ray and HD DVD.

The first console related fatality occurs when a toddler is struck in the head by a parent playing Wii bowling and fails to see them come in from the side.

Both Sony and Nintendo suffer class action lawsuits due to overexuberant players flinging controlers while using motion sensitive controls, Sony is the worst off since their controller has no restraining strap.

Phantom Lapboard still doesnt ship.

John Carmack sells off his stake in id, hired by Scaled Composites.

EA mandates 40 hour max work week for all employees. Rest of industry follows suit.

HDCP is broken, allowing simplistic connectivity to all HDMI devices. Consumers rejoice, hackers shrug since it never affected them anyway.

Tom Chick sells Q23 to IGN for undisclosed figures.

Sony sells all EQ1 assets to IGE entertainment group for undisclosed sum.

Vanguard doesnt ship.

Vista ships, few care.

Rumors and first specs for Xbox 3 surface.

Zune team dissolved, Plays for Sure ressurected.

Sam

2

99% of all predictions for the year turn out to be wrong.

3

The best selling console is the PS2, which is dwarfed by the sales of the Wii.

4

Someone says “PC gaming is doomed!”

Microsoft announces 360-degrees gyro-controller.

Non-gamers over the age of sixty buy a lot of Wiis, none of them touch Zelda, Metriod, or Mario Galaxy.

And this is the big one: I don’t buy or rent a single HD-DVD or Blu-Ray movie for the entire year. I’m given two as gifts.

5

In '07, I predict game industry crash for '08. Actual game industry crash occurs in '09 or '10.

Edit: Apostrophe.

6

That’s not just wild, that’s crazy talk. You mean, behave like the regular software industry? You know, the industry that sometimes develops software on time and budget? (Except for Microsoft). Maybe with development directors instead of “producers” and project managers who have some idea how much can be done in a week? With specs, you mean? Specs that are written before implementation? Ha. It is to laugh.

7

<boring>By end of 2007, 360 winds up with 20M consoles sold globally. Wii comes in at 9M. PS3, 8M, mainly due to continued production problems.</boring>

8

After an inital burst of excitement, Wii’s software sales will quickly slide as the novelty of the Wiimote isn’t fully lived up to in most titles and by christmas 07, the only thing selling once again are the 3 or so Nintendo titles released a year.

Sony will still be ignorant of its mistakes with the PS3 and makes no effort to correct them.

Microsoft’s 360 will lead the pack buy still will not match sales records set by previous generation leaders. Thus look like a failure.

Half Life 2 Episode 2 will slide to a christmas 07 release.

The first screen shots of Fallout 3 will be released and we STILL will not be able to figure out if the game is first person, third person, real time or turn based.

Lucasarts will once again annouce they are returning to their roots and will become a creative beacon for the gaming industry and then promply annouce 7 new star wars titles.

9

Duke Nukem Forever DOES ship, just in time for Veterans Day weekend. It is universally loved by all (PC Gamer rates it an unprecedented 99.2% in its July preview), except by one reviewer wanting to make a name for himself. He is attacked on the street by thugs from Usenet. PS3 and Xbox360 conversions for DNF are announced, with an ETA of Spring 2008.

S.T.A.L.K.E.R. also ships, but in a wholly unplayable state. Patch 1.01e (Europe only) is released after three weeks, allowing players to view the encrypted end-game movies. After a further three weeks, it is announced that there will be no more patches, “due to a lack of consumer interest.”

A Finnish ‘hacker’ finally claims the $10,000 StarForce reward, by flying to Moscow and proving that the protection software indeed causes damage to optical drives. Sadly, he succumbs to acute radiation sickness just two months later. StarForce tries to rehabilitate its negative image by renaming itself FriendlyForce.

Fatal1ty stars in his own reality show on SpikeTV, which is cruelly cancelled after just two episodes. “We just didn’t get the support we needed from the network,” muses the great man.

The Optimus Keyboard ships. Due to high production costs it will not have mini OLED keys, but stickers.

Google unexpectedly rolls out GooglePass, a service that handily keeps website passwords in one central repository. Users are automatically enrolled, but may opt out of the service at any time.

Presidential hopeful ________ makes an appearance at an industry event that looks and sounds very much like E3. When asked which console s/he prefers, s/he replies, “I think it’s really great… these young people… so much energy… I love Space Invaders!”

Non-athletic headbands make a comeback as a fun summer accessory.

The republic of Venice will be vexed by Hister.

10

Dragon Age ships by the end of the year.

Ok, so maybe thats more of a “Please for the love of god!!” wish more than a prediction.

11

This was a nice touch, I thought.

Behesda shows new Fallout 3 poster at E3-like event.

13

Free Zune with every Xbox 360!

(Cue Xbox 360 sales collapse)

14

“Atari” finally decides to ship all of their games with at least a jewel case or the new dvd boxes instead of being cheap bastards using paper sleeves in a $50 game. Spiral bound manuals for all.

Windows Vista doesn’t have some hd crashing, security breaching bug on release. No one is confused over which version to buy.

TF2, HL2 and DNF are released, on the same day, on steam, leading to mass hysteria. Many HPBs and LPBs will know what it is to be roasted in the depths of Sloar Gabe Newell that day I can tell you.

WoW:The Burning Crusade is serious business and will be released with no server crashes, no authenticating issues and no server queues. More PewPew less QQ had by all.

Jack Thompson is run over by an old lady in a buick, at a farmer’s market. Media blames “Midtown Madness”. Congress holds hearings, lan parties and orders out for pizza.

15

Michael Richards makes a cameo in the first Next-Gen “Def Jam” game where he is the only character without upgradeable stats or a chance at winning.

Adding another to a long string of bad decisions, Sony Computer Entertainment hires the “K0NY Viral Marketing Group” to spread the word about their cool new optional add-on upscaler for the Playstation3 retailing for only $199.95.

A new Tony Hawk game is announced for all consoles; real, virtual and portable.

QT3 members continue to live uncomfortably with sticks up their asses. New posters feel their pain.

Microsoft announces its killer app for Vista: the ability to install Linux as a second OS!

16

We’re all going to die.

17

In a surprise move, several developers release PC versions of mulit-platform games first.
Several next-gen console games are ported to the PC and aren’t half-assed crap.

Duke Nukem Forever does ship finally and Duke Nukem 5 is annouced.(tenative release date April 1, 2031)

Microsoft stuns the entire population of the planet by releasing Halo Wars for the PC the same time as the X360 version.( however PC gamers are too busy playing C&C3 and Supreme Commander to take time to give a damn)

Apple, in a bid to maintain market dominance,initiates the iPod protocol, turning all those who use their iPods into zombies.(billions die)

18

Jack Thompson gets a Wii for research and turns into a Wii golf junkie. Forgets to complains about games industry.

19

WoW:

WoW will only grow in market share this year.

Politicians will begin holding photo ops playing the most popular MMORPG’s in an attempt to attract younger voters, mostly in WoW.

A player of a popular online game, (most likely WoW), that played an average of 14 hours a day, will be found slumped over dead on his machine while logged in and on a raid. This will receive national attention. His dying words on teamspeak will be “More DOTS…”

A real life love triangle which began in WoW or the Sims will result in murder and be in the national news headlines for 2 weeks.

20

Ghostbusters Rick Moranis FTW!

21

Probly Spidey, Wolverine and The Hulk. I don’t think he’d let it go for The Fantastic Four.