2018 Horror Roundup Thread

Watched Terrifier last night with my GF. For some reason she was in a B-movie horror kind of mood. Based on the trailer, you will think to yourself, “this looks pretty shitty.” And you would be correct.

You will recognize nobody from this movie. You will not be surprised at anything that happens. You will want your hour and twenty minutes back.

And you’ll want to drink to ease the pain from wasting your time. Watch it only if you’re under duress.

I started Terrifier, because the killer clown looks pretty creepy. I reached a scene early in the movie (if you’ve seen it you probably know which one I mean) that struck me as mean-spirited and over the top sick.

I decided I’d rather play with my kitty and turned it off.

I guess we need to start a 2019 thread.

I liked Apostle. Good acting and directing and all that. A bit weird, occasionally very gruesome (poor what’s his name), creepy. But a mostly coherent script, with the things that aren’t explained being perfectly fine for no explanation.

Seven in Heaven, directed by none other than Chris Eigman - and let me just stop and say that this feels like one of the more random things I’ve ever typed - is sort of nonsensical and not good though. I mean I am like 12 minutes from time but it’s not going to get better. I would put a large portion of the blame on the script, which seems like it was not even half formed.

Well there were a few of those, but yep I have an idea where it was. My GF thought it was so-so, but her tolerance for B-movie horror is much easier going than mine. I just felt like everything it was trying to do was forced and not really that great. The clown was creepy, though.

Ok so it was more like 20-something minutes. It did not get better. It got worse.

I’m going to put this in horror, though I’m not sure it falls there 100%. Mentioned by @tomchick in another thread, Cold Skin is on Amazon and popped up as one we had not seen last night.

I enjoyed it quite a bit, though wish it had gone a little more into the detail on things. As it stands it lets the viewer put together anything they want per some creature features. Below that lack of backstory lies what could have been an even more fleshed out story. There is a lot there, and the setting was both dark and foreboding while also gifted with the promise of hope for a change, or rather, a change of heart.

As far as creature features go, it was good. Thumbs up.

And apparently that’s being made into what looks like a terrible movie on Netflix with a cast that should have known better.

Suspira is 70% at Rotten Tomatoes right now. I never thought I would be typing that Suspira is doing decently in ratings. But here we are.

The buzz I’ve heard is that it’s one of the best new horror movies around, and is way more inspired by the original than remaking it. I’ve seen neither, although the Alamo Drafthouse has a 4K restoration screening of the original and an advance screening of the new one that I would love to go to if I could get there. (The friend I last went there with says she’s too busy getting ready for a trip to Hawaii for movies. Bah.)

Telling me the redone Suspiria has little in common with the original is about the only way to get me to go see it. Man, I do not know what people see in that movie. But then I don’t really have a high opinion of giallo movies in general.

Honestly it’s the only giallo that’s intrigued me at all, mostly because it sounds bizarre and nightmarish, whereas apparently most giallo has more in common with slasher flicks. Except, y’know, more gory, grotesque and misogynistic. Not a fan of most slashers, and giallo really sounds even less appealing.

According to a few reviews, the new version is far from giallo and is more in the vein of something like Black Swan in tone. Very serious, very moody, with shocking pulses of violence. Also, a tad long.

Whoa, 2 hrs 32 mins, no kidding!

That’s very promising because I loved Black Swan. (I was going to say I couldn’t say as much for most of Aronofsky’s movies, but it turns out that’s because the only other one I’ve seen is Pi, and that movie baffled me.)

Keep in mind that even the most generous reviews say that this is solidly arthouse. Lots of long, lingering shots of someone’s face as they fume or look pensive. Wide angle static shots of stuff intercut with closeups of bloody footprints, etc. Your general weird as hell indie horror.

Can’t wait to see it. I’m a fan of all of the director’s movies, and I got a pretty big Euro-trash arty 70’s horror vibe from the trailer so I’m pretty much all-in.

They have to fill that runtime with something.

I mean, we’re guys. I too, loved that movie.

My three word movie review:
“Bitches be crazy.”

I haven’t seen Black Swan, because I have absolutely detested every Aronofsky film I’ve seen so far (OK, that’s only three: Pi, Requiem for a Dream, and The Fountain) so I kind of gave up on him. Is it that good?