3x3's, Music, Teasers, Taglines and a little bit (in the future) more

Podcast #370 Hell or High Water

Teaser: How can a movie be at 98% on Rotten Tomatoes, but one of us doesn’t like it? At the 1:08 mark, this week’s 3×3 perpetrates a discussion about confidence schemes in movies.

Date: November 20, 2016

Running Time: 02:22:15

Domestic Box Office Take: $27,007,844

Opening and Closing Song: Deep in the Heart of Texas by Studio bandet

Tagline: It’s like True Grit but with only one rattlesnake.

2nd Tagline: Finally a movie where Ben Foster has issues.

3rd Tagline: Finally a movie where Jeff Bridges talks like that.

Christien: Mckrenski

Response: They call me Mr.Pibb.



Over: Unbreakable

Under: Desierto


Over: No Country for Old Men

Under: Triple 9


Over: Margin Call

Under: 99 Homes

3x3: “confidence schemes” by Dingus starts at 01:07:04.

Tom Chick
3. The Gift
2. Rocket Science

  1. The Shape of Things

3. Zootopia
2. Midnight Run

  1. House of Games

Kelly Wand
3. Mission: Impossible
2. Wild Things

  1. House of Games

Podcast #371 Loving

Teaser: A movie making an Important Historical Point starring the woman who played Queen Something or Other in the Warcraft movie and the dude who played young Uncle Owen in the Star Wars prequels? For this week’s 3×3, at the 1:16, we change into a podcast about when one character is played by multiple characters in a movie.

Date: November 28, 2016

Running Time: 02:29:08

Domestic Box Office Take: $7,710,234

Opening and Closing Song: Happy Together by The Turtles

Tagline: Wait so it’s not the Super Bad character?

2nd Tagline: You’ll like it.

3rd Tagline: The mordor merrier.

4th Tagline: God’s all no I said do mixed races so your kids turn out hotter. Hello? Jesus!

Christien: Muliski

Response: I’d prefer if you guys just refer to me as Legume.



Over: Capote

Under: Argo


Over: Mystery Men

Under: The Omega Man


Over: Dr. Strangelove

Under: Desierto

3x3: “multiple actors playing the same character” by Tom starts at 01:15:35.

Tom Chick
3. The Debt
2. Last Life in the Universe

  1. Interstellar

3. Stand by Me
2. There Will Be Blood

  1. My Left Foot

Kelly Wand
3. Looper
2. Star Trek Into Darkness

  1. The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

Podcast #372 Manchester by the Sea

Teaser: How could Kenneth Lonergan possibly follow up on You Can Count on Me and Margaret? At the 1:05-mark, we convince ourselves that it’s a good idea after all to do a 3×3 about movies that converted us to liking actors we didn’t previously like.

Date: December 5, 2017

Running Time: 02:04:51

Domestic Box Office Take: $47,695,371

Opening Song: What’s the Frequency Kenneth by REM

Closing Song: Beat It by Michael Jackson

Tagline: Finally a movie where Casey Affleck’s sad.

2nd Tagline: It’s like Light Between the Oceans but dark.

3rd Tagline: Finally, there’s four deleted scenes where he (the rest is censored).

Christien: Murkriski

Response: I’m just the backup.



Over: You Can Count on Me

Under: The Savages


Over: Birth

Under: Hesher


Over: Margaret

Under: You Can Count on Me

3x3: “movies that converted us to liking someone we didn’t like” by Kelly starts at 01:05:16.

Tom Chick
3. Pain & Gain
2. 21 & Over

  1. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

3. Snow White and the Huntsman
2. Punch-Drunk Love

  1. Die Hard

Kelly Wand
3. Closer
2. Pain & Gain

  1. Goon

Podcast #373 Office Christmas Party

Teaser: We love so many of the people in this movie! The movie itself? Well, not so much. At the 45-minute, we try to stuff a 3×3 about suitcases into the overhead compartment while everyone waits impatiently in the aisle.

Date: December 12, 2016

Running Time: 01:50:49

Domestic Box Office Take: $54,767,494

Opening and Closing Song: We Three Kings by Steve Ouimette

Tagline: Watching it felt like work.

2nd Tagline: Finally a movie where Jason Bateman stammers.

3rd Tagline: Finally a movie where Aniston’s a horrible boss.

4th Tagline: More like fool snide sneer.

Christien: Milenski

Response: Just call me Spelling Bee.



Over: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Under: Sisters


Over: The Party

Under: The Hangover III


Over: The Gift

Under: Ghostbusters (2016)

3x3: “favorite suitcases” by Dingus starts at 00:44:30.

Tom Chick
3. Shallow Grave
2. Toy Story 2

  1. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer

3. Raiders of the Lost Ark
2. Moonrise Kingdom

  1. It’s a Wonderful Life

Kelly Wand
3. World War Z
2. Eraserhead

  1. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer

Podcast #374 Rogue One

Teaser: Only a rogue one of these three podcasters will stand up for Rogue One. At the 1:39 mark, the three of us do a 3×3 about threes of characters in movies.

Date: December 19, 2016

Running Time: 02:31:55

Domestic Box Office Take: $532,177,324

Opening and Closing Song: Imperial March Remix this is it I think

Tagline: Pffffffft. (makes a raspberry sound)

2nd Tagline: The most exciting words in the English language: Star Wars prequel.

3rd Tagline: I liked it til they started talking.

4th Tagline: I wish it had shown more Felicity.

Christien: Mraskli

Response: No I’m target practice and you guys would probably leave me behind.



Over: Captain America: Civil War

Under: Suicide Squad


Over: Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens

Under: Close Encounters (Special Edition)


Over: Jaws 3

Under: Jaws 4

3x3: “threes of characters (no forum thread)” by Tom starts at 01:38:37.

Tom Chick
3. Charlie’s Angels
2. The Big Lebowski

  1. Jaws

3. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
2. The Princess Bride

  1. Quick Change

Kelly Wand
3. Clash of the Titans (1981)
2. Joe Versus the Volcano

  1. The Godfather

Podcast #375 La La Land

Teaser: One of us likes musicals, one of us doesn’t like musicals, and one of us doesn’t know musicals. So what are we to make of this thing? At the 1:19-mark, this week’s 3×3 retcons some movies by explaining how they need prequels.

Date: December 27, 2016

Running Time: 02:14:33

Domestic Box Office Take: $151,101,803

Opening and Closing Song: I Ran (So Far Away) by Flock of Seagulls

Tagline: La la la la la la.

2nd Tagline: Finally a movie.

3rd Tagline: It’s like Gangster Squad but set in L.A.

4th Tagline: It’s like Crazy Stupid Love but without Fox Catcher’s Nose.

Christien: Malaudski

Response: For this episode you can just refer to me as Andrew Ridgeley.



Over: Singin’ in the Rain

Under: Down With Love


Over: Singin’ in the Rain

Under: Moulin Rouge!


Over: Punch Drunk Love

Under: Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon

3x3: “movies that need prequels” by Kelly starts at 01:18:56.

Tom Chick
3. 300
2. Planet of the Apes

  1. The Hobbit

3. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
2. Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

  1. Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

Kelly Wand
3. Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
2. The Godfather

  1. The Passion of the Christ

Podcast #376 Moonlight

Teaser: Barry Jenkins’ movie has us over the moon. Talk about a medicine for melancholy! At the 1:24 mark, our 3×3 about birds takes flight.

Date: January 2, 2017

Running Time: 02:28:45

Domestic Box Office Take: $27,854,932

Opening and Closing Song: Brazil by Frank Sinatra

Tagline: It’s like the TV Series but Moneypenny plays Sybil Sheppard.

2nd Tagline: It’s like Loving but with dudes.

3rd Tagline: I related to the character physically in the first two acts.

4th Tagline: Look what’s cookin’.

Christien: Mrinsliski

Response: What kind of dude gives other dudes nicknames?



Over: Hunger

Under: Carnage


Over: Brokeback Mountain

Under: Twilight


Over: Tideland

Under: Hunger

3x3: “birds in movies” by Dingus starts at 01:23:20.

Tom Chick
3. Five Corners
2. The Long Weekend

  1. The Remains of the Day

3. Jurassic Park
2. The Royal Tenenbaums

  1. 28 Days Later

Kelly Wand
3. High Anxiety
2. One Million Years B.C.

  1. The Return of the Pink Panther

Podcast #377 Top Ten of 2016

Teaser: Using math, we determine the top ten movies of 2016. Each!

Date: January 9, 2016

Running Time: 02:07:25

Opening and Closing Song: Another Day of Sun by Justin Hurwitz with lyrics by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul

Tagline: No Tagline.

Christien: McKranski

Response: You can just call me Buddy.

No Over/Under

No 3x3


  1. La La Land
  2. Loving
  3. Manchester by the Sea
  4. Everybody Wants Some!!
  5. The Witch
  6. High-Rise
  7. Neon Demon
  8. Green Room
  9. The Look Like People
  10. The Lobster


  1. Certain Women
  2. Manchester by the Sea
  3. La La Land
  4. The Witch
  5. Moonlight
  6. Green Room
  7. The Handmaiden
  8. The Lobster
  9. Triple 9
  10. Blue Jay


  1. La La Land
  2. The Witch
  3. The Handmaiden
  4. Moonlight
  5. The Lobster
  6. Loving
  7. Arrival
  8. Neon Demon
  9. Hardcore Henry
  10. Swiss Army Man

Most Surprising Movie:

Tom: Deepwater Horizon

Dingus: Morgan

Kelly: Star Trek: Beyond

Most Disappointing Movie:

Tom: Arrival

Dingus: Deadpool

Kelly: Doctor Strange

Best Miscellaneous Thingy:

Tom: Melissa Rauch’s ponytail


Kelly: Best Dance Sequence: Opening of Nocturnal Animals Funniest Robot - Drone in Blair Witch

Podcast #378 A Monster Calls

Teaser: Tell him we’re not here. At the 1:01 mark, we begin this week’s 3×3 with a discussion of bad opening shots in movies.

Date: January 16, 2017

Running Time: 02:11:13

Domestic Box Office Take: $3,740,823

Opening and Closing Song: I Just Called To Say I Love You by Stevie Wonder

Tagline: It’s like the BFG only the F stands for photosyhthesis.

2nd Tagline: It’s like Avatar but with Sigourney Weaver in a tree.

3rd Tagline: It’s like if Tony Robbins was an Ent.

4th Tagline: It’s the best feel good movie about dying moms since Doctor Detroit.

5th Tagline: Finally a movie where Felicity Jones dies after making an inspiring speech about blowing up stuff.

Christien: Mukrawski

Response: I’m chaning my name to Finley Jacobson.



Over: Truly Madly Deeply

Under: Dan in Real Life


Over: Terms of Endearment

Under: 13 Ghosts


Over: My Neighbor Totoro

Under: Pete’s Dragon (2016)

3x3: “bad opening shots in movies” by Tom starts at 01:01:12.

Tom Chick
3. Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope
2. Mad Max: Fury Road

  1. Jaws

3. Clerks
2. House of Games

  1. Melancholia

Kelly Wand
3. Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
2. Speed 2: Cruise Control

  1. Snakes on a Plane

Podcast #379 xXx: The Return of Xander Cage

Teaser: Vin Deisel’s B-side ensemble action franchise kicks into second gear! And the 3×3 takes the week off.

Date: January 25, 2017

Running Time: 01:25:02

Domestic Box Office Take: $44,898,413

Opening Song: What A Wonderful World sung by Kaitlyn Maher

Closing Song: Dwayne Johnson singing to the tune of What a Wonderful World

Tagline: Kinda light on O’s.

2nd Tagline: It’s like a Vin Diesel movie.

3rd Tagline: One of the X’s probably stands for Xander.

4th Tagline: Some of the scenes have fighting in them.

Christien: Murlawski

Response: I think Ruby Rose would just tag me as California mule.



Over: Kingsman: The Secret Service

Under: The Man from U.N.C.L.E.


Over: X: The Man with the X-ray Eyes

Under: X-Men: The Last Stand


Over: Riddick

Under: Furious 7

No 3x3

Podcast #380 Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

Teaser: Sixth time’s not a charm. At the 59-minute mark, we get comfortable in a 3×3 about death beds.

Date: January 30, 2017

Running Time: 02:25:36

Domestic Box Office Take: $26,830,068

Opening and Closing Song: The Final Countdown by Europe

Tagline: It’s like Friday the 13th The Final Chapter except in this one the main character carries a long knife.

2nd Tagline: It’s like Underworld but with a pale brunette woman in black leather.

3rd Tagline: Finally a sixth title that taps into our fear of evil owning property.

4th Tagline: His best since Magnolia.

Christien: McKlaski

Response: In our trinity of bitches I think I’m the Jesus.



Over: Resident Evil: Afterlife (not sure about this one)

Under: World War Z


Over: Fifth Element

Under: The Fourth Kind


Over: Resident Evil: Afterlife

Under: Any Underworld movie

3x3: “deathbeds and death beds” by Kelly starts at 00:58:15.

Tom Chick
3. A Nightmare on Elm Street
2. Deathbed

  1. Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

3. Se7en
2. 28 Days Later

  1. Star Wars; Episode VI - Return of the Jedi

Kelly Wand
3. Citizen Kane
2. 2001: A Space Odyssey

  1. Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

Podcast #381 Split

Teaser: We are all united on our opinion of the latest movie from the director of After Earth! At the 1:27 mark, we nose our way into a discussion of smells in movies.

Date: February 6, 2017

Running Time: 02:32:07

Domestic Box Office Take:$138,141,585

Opening and Closing Song: The Twist by Chubby Checker

Tagline: Bruce Willis plays a ghost in it.

2nd Tagline: It’s like Cloverfield Lane but with a brunette heroine whose toughened by her experiences.

3rd Tagline: McAvoy and the Beast, together again but this time one’s not Frasier.

4th Tagline: It’s like identity but without the hotel parts.

5th Tagline: His best since Magnolia.

Christien: Molenski

Response: Tom, you have the power to say Christien’s full name.



Over: Unbreakable

Under: Suicide Squad


Over: The Sixth Sense

Under: Signs


Over: Session 9

Under: Raising Cain

3x3: “favorite representations of smells” by Dingus starts at 01:26:48.

Tom Chick
3. Reeker
2. Rosemary’s Baby

  1. Apocalypse Now

3. Goodfellas
2. French Kiss

  1. The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Kelly Wand
3. Austin Powers in Goldmember
2. Fargo

  1. Reeker

Podcast #382 The Founder

Teaser: We ordered an intriguing story about fast food, capitalism, and betrayal. But we got this movie instead. At the 1:03 mark, we issue an executive order for Donald Trump to watch these movies.

Date: February 13, 2017

Running Time: 01:41:56

Domestic Box Office Take:$12,786,053

Opening Song: You Deserve a Break Today - McDonald’s jingle

Closing Song: Another McDonald’s jingle that I couldn’t find online.

Tagline: That’s some real dick magic right there.

2nd Tagline: It’s like a Jack in the Box biopic but with a different clown

3rd Tagaline: It’s like Joy but about a product that’s inedible.

4th Tagline: His best since Magnolia.

Christien: Murkowski

Response: I’d like to be known as Dick Magic.



Over: The Social Network

Under: The Blind Side


Over: The Social Network

Under: The Wolf of Wall Street


Over: Fast Food Nation

Under: Super Size Me

3x3: “Making Trump Watch Three Movies” by Tom starts at 01:03:48.

Tom Chick
3. Logistics
2. Modern Times Forever

  1. Cinématon

3. Titus
2. Dave

  1. Idiocracy

Kelly Wand
3. Being There
2. American Psycho

  1. Quest for Fire

Podcast #383 John Wick: Chapter 2

Teaser: We are a house divided on the John Wick sequel. At the 1:23 mark, we lock ourselves into a discussion of dungeons in movies. Yep, dungeons in movies.

Date: February 21, 2017

Running Time: 02:31:43

Domestic Box Office Take:$92,029,184

Opening and Closing Song: Be Our Guest - sung by Angela Lansbury and Jerry Orbach

Tagline: His candle doesn’t just burn at both ends. It fucks up the whole cake.

2nd Tagline: This may be chapter two, but the amount of bullets that John Wick shoots is also higher than one.

3rd Tagline: His last name may sound like weak but it’s spelled with a different vowel.

4th Tagline: This time the Merovingian’s Italian.

5th Taglien: I don’t think the guards realized their in a movie called John Wick: Chapter Two.

6th Tagline: His best since Chain Reaction.

Christien: Murkowski

Response: You can just call me the Sommelier.



Over: Captain America: Winter Soldier

Under: Split


Over: Payback

Under: Wanted


Over: John Wick

Under: Smokey and the Bandit

3x3: “favorite dungeons in movies” by Kelly starts at 01:23:19.

Tom Chick
3. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
2. The Fountain

  1. The Woman

3. Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi
2. Thor: The Dark World

  1. Martyrs

Kelly Wand
3. Life of Brian
2. The Prisoner of Zenda

  1. The Cabin in the Woods

Podcast #384 The Legon Batman Movie

Teaser: It’s like The Lego Movie, but with another layer of licensing! At the 57-minute mark, each of the three of us picks three three-point landings from movies.

Date: February 28, 2017

Running Time: 02:02:56

Domestic Box Office Take:$175,750,384

Opening and Closing Song: Man in the Mirror by Michael Jackson

Tagline: I guess you could say Batman’s a block parent.

2nd Tagline: His best since Dawn of Justice.

Christien: Markowski

Response: I would like to be known as Calendar Man.



Over: Suicide Squad

Under: Dark Knight Rises


Over: Toy Story 2

Under: The Lego Movie


Over: Dark Knight Rises

Under: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

3x3: “three-point landings” by Dingus starts at 00:56:52.

Tom Chick
3. Deadpool
2. The Matrix

  1. Sucker Punch

3. The Matrix
2. The Avengers

  1. Guardians of the Galaxy

Kelly Wand
3. The Matrix or The Matrix Revolutions…who can say?
2. Man of Steel

  1. War of the Worlds

Podcast #385 Logan

Teaser: We gush about this movie like the arterial spray from a henchman’s slashed neck! We finally take a break at the 1:38 mark for an overview of our favorite overhead shots in movies.

Date: March 6, 2017

Running Time: 02:38:12

Domestic Box Office Take:$226,277,068

Opening and Closing Song: Is She With You? by Hans Zimmer and Junkie XL

Tagline: The most R Rated Hugh Jackman superhero movie since Chappie.

2nd Tagline: Bad news Trump voters, the new Wolverine’s not from Canada.

3rd Tagline: It’s like Deadpool, but without jokes.

4th Tagline: Comicbooks are fake news.

5th Tagline: His best since Withnail & I.

Christien: Murkowski

Response: I’m a nonagenarian actually.



Over: I Am Legend

Under: Morgan


Over: Deadpool

Under: The Punisher (Thomas Jane one)


Over: Dark Knight

Under: Deadpool

3x3: “favorite overhead shots” by Tom starts at 01:33:25.

Tom Chick
3. The Fountain
2. Jaws

  1. La La Land

3. Jurassic Park
2. 28 Days Later

  1. The Untouchables

Kelly Wand
3. Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey
2. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

  1. The Shining

Podcast #386 Kong: Skull Island

Teaser: We go over all the submissions for the 2017 Make Us Watch Whatever You Want Fund Drive starting at the 1:45 mark, but first we had to talk about that King Kong movie they just made. At the 1:06-mark, Kellywand makes us talk about erections in movies.

Date: March 13, 2017

Running Time: 02:05:03

Domestic Box Office Take:$168,052,812

Opening and Closing Song: I’ll Tumble For You by Culture Club

Tagline: Sorry Brie, Kong’s not into brunettes.

2nd Tagline: Finally a King Kong movie that’s cannon.

3rd Tagline: I have had it with these motherfuckin’ skulls on this motherfuckin’ island

4th Tagline: I think they got the wrong Jackson.

Christien: Murklosi

Response: I would like to be referred to as Dear Billy.



Over: Signs

Under: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter


Over: King Kong (any of them)

Under: Jurassic World


Over: The Lost Continent

Under: Bermuda Tentacles

3x3: “erections in movies” by Kelly starts at 01:06:01.

Tom Chick
3. A Clockwork Orange
2. Blood Beach

  1. Intimacy

3. Trainwreck
2. Top Secret!

  1. The Avengers

Kelly Wand
3. Skin Deep
2. History of the World: Part I

  1. The Man with Two Brains

Podcast #387 Redline

Teaser: We watch the winner of this year’s Make Us Watch Whatever You Want Fund Drive! Or do we? At the 1:11-mark, we touch on a few of our favorite moments of contact in movies.

Date: March 20, 2017

Running Time: 02:13:07

Domestic Box Office Take: No domestic box office take.

Opening and Closing Song: The Distance by Cake

Tagline: It’s like Cannonball Run but without Sinatra.

2nd Tagline: So that’s why his name’s Funky Boy

3rd Tagline: It’s anime.

4th Tagline: Whoever wins we all eat Thai.

Christien: Murkloski

Response: It’s Cherry Boy Hunter Christien Murkloski.



Over: Days of Thunder

Under: Speed Racer


Over: Akira

Under: Speed Racer


Over: Mad Max: Fury Road

Under: Speed Racer

3x3: “favorite touches (non-sexual/violent)” by Dingus starts at 01:10:12.

Tom Chick
3. Time Bandits
2. La La Land

  1. Raw

3. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
2. Aliens

  1. Moonlight

Kelly Wand
3. Living in Oblivion
2. Wholly Moses!

  1. 2001: A Space Odyssey

Podcast #388 Life

Teaser: Some people think a floppy space octopus isn’t a good monster for a horror movie. You’ll find some of them on this podcast!

Date: March 28. 2017

Running Time: 01:07:31

Domestic Box Office Take: $30,234,022

Opening and Closing Song: The Attack of the Giant Ants by Blondie

Tagline: If you thought Prometheus was good, you’re an idiot.

2nd Tagline: It’s like Species but without tits.

3rd Tagline: It’s like Gravity but with Gravity.

4th Tagline: It’s like Darkstar but as a comedy.

5th Tagline: Finally a movie that taps into my fear of kelp.

6th Tagline: The first combination of Ryan Reynolds, aliens, and CG since Green Lantern.

Christien: Murawski

Response would have been: You can call me Hobbs.



Over: Pandorum

Under: Event Horizon


Over: Alien

Under: Species II


Over: Gravity

Under: Europa Report

No 3x3

Podcast #389 Ghost in the Shell

Teaser: Classic anime, but not as a cartoon, and starring Scarlett Johansson, and directed by the guy who did the first Snow White movie that we liked! What could go wrong? At the 1:15 mark, against all odds, we do a 3×3 of come-from-behind victories.

Date: April 3, 2017

Running Time: 02:41:59

Domestic Box Office Take: $40,563,557

Opening and Closing Song: Jeepers Creepers by Harry Warren and Johnny Mercer

Tagline: A short circuit you can jerk off to.

2nd Tagline: She’s like Black Widow but taupe and a virgin

3rd Tagline: It’s like Blade Runner if Pris was the was the heroine.

4th Tagline: It’s like Under the Skin but with a Wild Wild West third act.

5th Tagline: This time, Scarlett faces only one eight legged freak.

Christien: Murkowski

Response: My name is Major Murkowski and I give consent to delete this podcast.



Over: Robocop (the remake)

Under: Highlander II: The Quickening


Over: Under the Skin

Under: Cyborg


Over: Ultraviolet

Under: All the Underworld movies.

3x3: “come-from-behind movies” by Tom starts at 01:14:51.

Tom Chick
3. Rob Roy
2. 8 Mile

  1. The Candidate

3. The Incredibles
2. Hoosiers

  1. The Natural

Kelly Wand
3. Teen Wolf
2. Fast Break

  1. Rocky