When white people looked at us, they often seemed curious about the nature of our relationship, but few would ask questions. The unspoken code of etiquette was feigned “colorblindness,” trying not to notice racial difference. Some genuinely expressed how cute my son was, while others over-emphasized the point, as if to prove their racial tolerance. Some tried to touch my son’s hair, perhaps feeling more license to explore a seemingly exotic feature. I’d quickly reposition my son out of their reach.
Interesting. Growing up, my best friend had mixed parents. When he was out with his mom, or even when we were just hanging around his house and people came to the door, they’d give the most bewildered looks when he referred to this little old white lady as “mom”. It is pretty crazy what we take for granted.
Talk about a timely thread – here’s a family picture with our friend Judge Hulsing, taken just this morning (while we were really, really happy, my daughter doesn’t look quite so sure; personally, I think it’s because of the flower hairband thing my wife made her wear):
But yeah, people can get really weird. It’s not so bad in my town, I think largely because there’s a strong evangelical bent to the local populace, (evangelicals are pretty big on international adoptions) – I suspect there are way more transracial families around here than is typical. People are usually pretty surprised when the answer to “where’s she from?” is “Detroit”, though – domestic transracial adoptions are apparently an alien concept.
Thanks – we’ve had her since she was born in June, today was just the final hearing (Michigan mandates a six-month waiting period before you can make everything final and irrevocable). Technically, we weren’t supposed to be able to finalize until the first week of January, but the judge very nicely gave us a HUGE tax break for Christmas :)
Friend of mine recently went to South Africa to Pick up his first daughter. Even though Denmark is a very white society I think interracial adoption is more common here. Probably because poverty rates are low and abortion is more common, so we have to shop abroad for orphans and that usually means far abroad like Africa or Asia.
Ahhh… That’s great! I remember when you posted about the blessed event and how you told your wife about it. It made me cry, it was so sweet.
[OK, I was 6 months pregnant at the time, and my cat had just died, I was pretty much crying all the time, but at least I cried for a good reason when I heard about you, your wife and daughter.]
Another interesting thing - for some reason inter-racial couples appear to be more accepted in post rustbelt areas. I’m not sure if it is a demographic thing or what. But, I’ve heard a lot of comments from caucasian and african americans (especially the african americans that move to the area) about the high percentage of biracial relationships.
My cousin (who’s pale white) married a filipina, and one of his little girls is really dark, so he gets some strange comments from time to time.
I may or may not have these issues as well, considering my wife is of a mixed background (Chinese, Filipino and Spanish) All depends, the best man at my wedding, his fiancee had a child that you would never guess is hers, as she is from hawaii and semi dark skinned, but her son looks white, and yet his baby pictures he very much looked ethnic, with a little fro even.
You’re overcomplicating things, BlueJack. It’s simply a reference to Talisker’s initial post, in which he states that the baby doesn’t look as thrilled as the parents because of the headband+flower inflicted upon her by his wife.
Talisker can’t really win that battle using traditional methods. When it’s just the two of you out shopping, that’s the time to pick up cool things that you think look nice on her. Robot shirts, shirts with nice horizontal striping, Lions gear, etc. Of course she’ll love it because Dad picked it out just for her and because it represents a cool memory.
You’ll get some frowns and such when you get home, but when she goes to dress herself and picks out your clothes first … it’s awesome. :)