Alan Keyes interprets Tolkien, admits secret identity

I was clearing out some old NYT Magazines from my desk and found one from January with this very revealing interview by Michael Crowley with Alan Keyes:

Q: So what are you talking about on your new TV show, “Alan Keyes Is Making Sense”?
Keyes: This isn’t just about politics, it’s about everything. The topics will be a wide range of things that interest me – for instance, a show on the big success of Tolkien and “Harry Potter.” I’m a fanatical fan of Tolkien. I’m one of those people who has read the book 10 times since I was 15.

Who’s your favorite “Rings” character?
Samwise Gamgee, Frodo’s companion. I think Sam represents a kind of simple decency that doesn’t set out to do anything except to keep the promise of its own integrity. And that ends up turning him into a great hero who in his way is absolutely indispensable.

So if you had to be a hobbit, elf or dwarf, would you be a hobbit, then?
That’s a tough choice. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want to be a dwarf, because I think the dwarfs represent the industrial side of things. The hobbits represent the hidden virtue that resides on a facade of comfortable consumerism. And the elves represent the kind of wistful aspiration, that unwillingness to surrender the ideal even as it fades into the past. I guess there’s something about that that corresponds with my own life. So in the end I would be an elf.

Emphasis mine.

This is probably the wierdest thing I’ve ever seen a politician say.

I’m actually impressed by how much of a fanboi Alan Keyes actually is! Why, he could hold his own with Sones and Desslock. I doubt any Democrat could do that.
Man, this is a good idea. Maybe we should start asking more politicians what Tolkien race they would be.

Is that Keyes show still on the air?

It sucked.

Alan Keyes Rocks!


This is probably the wierdest thing I’ve ever seen a politician say.

I’m not sure he counts.