Amazon One - Give your palm print to the gods of shopping

Back in college, long before computers were much of a thing (think like 1979) outside of the bowels of a science or math building on campus, the dining halls had this hand reader thing. You lined up, and before you could pass through the turnstile you had to place your hand on this metal plate. It had a sort of hand-shape indented into it if I recall, with a couple or three metal pegs placed to guide your fingers. Somehow, through some form of probably optical pre-digital wizardry, it read your palm and determined if you were worthy. I still have no idea how it worked, or, for that matter, why we bothered to pay for that horrible slop they served.

Where is Amazon one in use? I guess the Amazon stores but does anyone else use it yet? I’ve never heard of it before this.

Also, and this is a serious question believe it or not, can you use it if you don’t have hands? The FAQ does not address this.

What if the mark of the beast was our fingerprints all along?

I’m happy to do it, with a tangerine to get the free ten bucks.

Nah, the mark of the beast is in the COVID vaccine. That’s what some GOP lawmaker said, so it must be true.

I love the faux naivete of Amazon here:

I’m really annoyed that all this cool tech from our favourite sci-fi movies in the 70s and 80s can’t be enjoyed because we didn’t realise at the time that that biometric scans of our eyeballs could be used to destroy our privacy and make evil men richer.

I mean, if they ever invent teleportation for real, we’d never be able to use it because it would encode our entire genome for profit!

Don’t put reality in my sci-fi! Dammit.

Oh, the jokes write themselves.

Indeed.