After Yang just popped up in my feed and was free to watch on Prime. Lovely little film. Also got me interested in finding out more about a documentary called The Burden of Dreams, after I detected what I was sure must be a Werner Herzog impression in an early scene with Colin Ferrell, as he quoted a line from that film.
I watched this (“The Protege”) last night. Samuel Jackson? Michael Keaton? Maybe it’ll be good? Maybe I’m dumb, or I was too tired but nothing in the movie made any sense. I guess I’ll spoiler this, if you have any intention of watching it, don’t click:
So, Samuel Jackson is a professional assassin who kills people professionally, but this one time he gets an attack of conscience and decides to help out the kid of someone he killed. Except it turns out he didn’t kill him, the guy faked his own assassination so he could… become a billionaire philanthropist that I guess nobody recognizes for reasons that aren’t clear. But when Jackson starts searching for the kid, assassins kill him and go after his protege. So, she (the protege) decides to find out about the kid to get revenge, I guess? Except it turns out Jackson isn’t dead so there wasn’t really any reason to need to get revenge? But Jackson doesn’t bother telling his protege he’s still alive until later so, oops, I guess. Anyway the kid turns out to be a total red herring I guess? It’s never clear why the bad guys had to kill everyone to keep Jackson from finding the kid, who turns out to be catatonic and couldn’t have told him anything. Anyway, for some reason Jackson is really mad at the guy he didn’t actually kill for trying to have him killed, I guess, so gets revenge by committing suicide. And then the protege kills Michael Keaton for some reason. Oh, and there’s something about a flashback where Jackson rescues the protege as a child, but she cut her hair so you think it’s not her.
Assassin movies seem to be the lowest hanging fruit these days. I suspect they manage to get access to a known start and just pull Assassin Movie #56 out of the drawer to give them a vehicle. How many times has “She’s a trained assassing that is on the run from her own organization!” been made?
Sweet Jesus Amazon is bad at surfacing stuff. It’s the start of the month, so like I always do, I’m trawling through the list of newly added movies. After going past 180 movies, most of which are nothingburgers, it finally shows me the “Amazon exclusive” Everything Everywhere All At Once. For fuck’s sake, Amazon, this should be the very first thing I see when I open the app. It’s not even in the list of Originals and Exclusives.
It’s also largely true of Netflix, but it’s baffling to me why these new addition lists seem to have no concept of “bigness”. Like, only a few movies before EEAAO was Baby Driver, which was definitely a bigger movie than 95% of the movies before it. Most people aren’t going to scroll as far as I do You’d think user retention would be a big driver of UX for these platforms but they just don’t seem to care that most of their users don’t know what they have.