An open letter to the world regarding Halloween

Dear World,

I like Halloween, I really do. But please stop having buxom teenage girls show up at my door dressed as slutty witches. Barely dressed as slutty witches. This makes me uncomfortable for a variety of reasons I’d rather not go into. I almost wrote you this letter last year but decided to hold off because I thought that the problem would resolve itself given children’s naturally waning interest in trick-or-treating. But it has not. In fact, another year’s time has simply exacerbated the problem. Please see to this immediately.



I only had two bare-midriff witches this year, and they were both frighteningly young, like 12-15.

Stop bitching and simply send them over to my house.

Thankfully our trick-or-treating has decreased to a minimal level. This was the scenario at chez Spoofy last night:

7:30 - Three teenage boys show up wearing masks but no other costumage

8:30 - Our neighbor shows up with her two kids, 12 and 9

8:45 - The same three teenage boys return sans masks for a second go. I chuckle and give them another Reeses and say “this is your second time around isn’t it?” “Oh no!” they say “but your neighbors said the same thing lol.” Teenagers are so stupid.

Our town has a law against underage witchcraft so at no time did we get any slutty underage witches.

Once again…

We had a 12 year old French Maid…uh sorry no pics…I don’t want the internet police knocking at my door for solicting underage sex and stuff.

AND her mom was with her…I suppose for security?

Haha, yeah.

We handed out nearly 300 pieces of candy in just under an hour, after which we shut off the lights and holed up in the basement. Was way busy this year.

Yeah I am hearing that from a lot of people all over the place.

We got rained out last night. My most peaceful Halloween in years. :D

This year front lights were off and got no doorbells rang and no eggs…

However, last year we actually had candy and the light on… And no one rang the doorbell. And this is in a pretty low income neighborhood with lots of kids. I think they must drive the kids to the rich neighborhoods where the treats are iPod nanos.

Oh, and one other EXTREMELY annoying thing about this region of Canada. (and no other I’ve lived in)…

Apparently, in Victoria - Halloween means fireworks. For the week before and the month after. So every day and night from now til November 30th or so, some teenage dipshit is lighting off roman candles or screamers or just things that go bang right outside on the street.

Haha, yeah.[/quote]

Are you a homeowner Bill? Because the only thing stupider than giving a second dose of candy to the greedy little bastards is NOT giving them the candy and then having them take a crap on your yard gnomes out of spite.

We had 153 kids, along with parents, grandparents and other assorted friends and relatives, which meant at least 300+ people came to our house.

Photogallery here, but no pictures of the oversexed teenage costumes precisely because of how self-conscious I get taking a photo of a half-dressed teenager in a world where people always assumed the worst of your intentions, mostly because you post on the same webforum as Whitta.

So… what’s the age of consent for witchery?

We had a bunch of kids this year. Fortunately, we were prepared, having run out of candy at like 7:00 the year before. The funniest trick-or-treater was this one little girl, maybe around two years old. As soon as I opened the door they marched right through the door, past me, and into my living room where she started playing with my daughter’s toys. She never even looked at the giant basket of candy I had. Her mom was mortified and not quite sure what to do (I guess rushing in after her daughter would have just doubled the intrusion) but I thought it was hilarious and was cracking up.

Regarding the slutty witch, I didn’t take pictures because that would have been kind of …um, wrong. I’m not kidding, though. I remember this same girl from last year. I’m pretty sure it was the same costume, too, but it had not grown in any of the places she had.

'salright. Just keep posting pictures of hot moms.


So… what’s the age of consent for witchery?[/quote]

Well given that witches use hexes and whatnot to prolong their lives the age of consent is 118 in our town. I think the average age for witches here is 379 although Glenda Smith did live to be 419.

Halloween is getting a lot more adult and slutty, I’ll say that.

I wish Tom would ban anyone who breaks the horizontal scroll, Stoker Ace.

Ah, fixed.

You can stay Stoker, but my suggestion stands.

My finger slipped.