Another Reason I Hate XPlay: ratings

I watched an episode of xplay where they just absolutely slammed this game. They made it sound like the worst game ever made – that it had zero redeeming value. Horrible horrible horrible review.

The score they gave it?

3 out of 5

Which game was it?

And which EB did they buy it at?

I thought its rent games at gamefly :)

Really? I find xplay’s rating system is pretty consistent overall.

1: unforgivable garbage, developers should be neutered so they don’t reproduce
2: horrible game, don’t buy it
3: average
4: great game, buy it
5: instant classic, you’ll replay it in 5 years for the nostalgia value

The vast majority get a 3, which is about right. The real reasons to hate xplay are the tiresome unfunny skits and the annoying unfunny pop culture reference popups over reviews just to stretch out time.

I like the skits, it’s the pop culture stuff that annoys me. Either half the time I don’t get it, or I do get it and I don’t find it funny.

I don’t recall the title. It was sort of a Rome: Total War for retards and without the strategy or cool battles or fun. At least that’s how the man-faced girl with long hair characterized it.

I think it was Legion, saw it today on one of the epsodes.

What?! Morgan Webb is super-hot.

…for a tranny

Listen, guys - I don’t know if anyone has told you or not but Matt Keil is gay. He loooooves the cock. Thus, you can’t dislike X-Play or that makes you a HOMOPHOBE - and you don’t want to be labeled a bigot, d’ya?

Yes, and she has those broad, masculine shoulders, too. She’s practically a viking. Have you seen that newest t.v. spot of hers with the sledgehammer? Doesn’t really help with the viking imagery. Chest muscles bulging, shoulders back, two-handed sledgehammer effortlessly supported by said shoulders. Actually, screw vikings. She reminds me more of this guy:

Looks like Czernobog-Morgan is about to smash Adam Sessler.

I’ll admit to not being a big fan, but only because I don’t like Adam whatever his name is. They do tend to use the whole rating scale and to top it off, they gave GC2 a perfect score!

Well, how can I possibly ignore such level-headed and mature commentary? I’ll get on this right away. As soon as I figure out what the hell game you’re even talking about.

Oh, and as for…

At least that’s how the man-faced girl with long hair characterized it.

…grow the fuck up.

Man-faced girl? Wow. Mature AND insightful, Ryan, you sure hit it out of the park on this one. Why the fuck is this even in ‘games’, instead of television?

And how many people have hacked Madonna’s website to propose marriage to you, Ryan A? Oh, zero you say? Well OK then.

I use to like Xplay, comedy and all, but a few months ago, it kept on crossing whatever personal line I have and I took it off my season pass list. I catch it from time to time but a correction hasn’t come yet.

Yes, it sank somewhere. Crossed over from geek cute to geek arrogant.

Yep. Don’t get how anyone could say she’s at all manly looking.

If Morgan looks like a man, then I must be gay. :)