Any suggestions for how to deal with a thoughtless neighbor?

Definitely the moose, lol. Eh, your neighbor is being a bit of a jerk. Tell him your friend from Cleveland would let you borrow his snow blower except you can’t get out of the driveway to go pick it up.

Okay, don’t really say that, but THINK IT REALLY LOUD.

What are your actual issues with the snow? It sticking to everything?

One of the things I do at the start of every year is liberally spray the auger area and the chute with this dupont silicon spray. It really helps things not get stuck. If it’s a power issue, going slow on the first long pass, stopping to let is clear, etc, after that you can nibble at it.

Or hire a plow company, which what I’d likely do.

You made a reasonable request for your neighbor to do you a simple favor, and he decided to be a guy who doesn’t want anyone playing with his toys. He’s being unneighborly, and he’s being a dick. I have no doubt that a lot of people would behave like him, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have an obligation to honor a neighbor’s request (barring some good reason–but if the best response he had was “eventually it’ll melt,” then I don’t think he has one).

He seems like a dick Jeff - it’s not you. I’m not a super helpful person, but I would have gladly let you use mine, if I didn’t just do it for you when you needed help. I’ve had neighbors in 4 out of 5 of the places we live clear my snow at times, and I didn’t need the help. They just wanted to be nice.

Your neighbor sounds terminally aloof. Hopefully he gets touched by the right Christmas movie this year.

Wanting help is natural, very human. It’s about the connection between people as well as the physical assistance. I think it’s bad for us to suppress our desire for help all of the time. I’m glad you were aware of your feelings and posted them here.

You guys are so smart, as that’s a brilliant idea. I had thought of “PAM” cooking spray but was afraid it would draw mice so didn’t do it. I’m not sure that could have overcome the issue where it seems like it just doesn’t have the strength of velocity to throw the snow out the shoot, but I wish I could have done that. It may have saved the snowblower. In the end, it just petered out even though it had gas. Maybe it went on strike because I was yelling at it. :)

Thanks all for your thoughts and help, and apologies if this was a stupid thing to post about.

That is a really good idea. I actually have some of that in my garage and never thought to use it on my snowblower blades. Thanks for the suggestion,

While I will admit that your neighbor is being a bit selfish I do understand. I loaned my lawnmower to a neighbor and he returned it with a broken shaft because he hit something with it. He never said a word about it and when I found out and approached him about it, he denied it. I just said “ok, lesson learned”. Fortunately this was years ago and I have different, better neighbors now.
Anyway, here’s where you went wrong with this one. You should not have put future conditions on your request. By adding in the “once or twice” thing, you did just that. That makes it much harder for him to say yes, than if you just asked to use it for that one instance.
That being said, myself when I break out the snowblower, after I do my walk and drive I usually do the walks for my neighbors on both sides before I put it away. But that’s only if I beat the neighbor across the street who will do mine if I don’t get to it first.
Ill add that your post wasn’t stupid, but you probably should temper your expectations when dealing with things of this nature. In spite of your situation, its best to understand that no one is obligated to do things for you, outside of your family circle. Oh and if you can afford it get a better snow blower. You live in a lake effect zone. I’ve been there and that heavy, wet snow can be a real problem. I wish I lived near you. I have a beast of a snowblower that has handled everything that mother nature has thrown at in. I would help you in a heartbeat if I could. Since I am on the other side of the state, I’ll just throw this out there. Perhaps a QT3 Christmas snowblower fund could be arranged for you? A good two stage snowblower would help solve your issues.

This. And snowblowers are temperamental beasts and it is very easy to blow an auger belt or shearing pin.

I never ask or offer anything to any neighbor for free. I really think those days passed back in like the 1990’s. When neighbors and or their kids would offer to help shovel out driveways of people at work or unable to do so themselves.

If it was me, in 2022 and I wasn’t able to get out there to get it done for whatever reason, be it time, wrong tool for the job, etc. I’d ask the neighbor if he would be willing to do it for a fixed sum of money. Worst case he says no to cash for his time and labor. Best case he offers to do it for free.

My one neighbor who is getting up in age , still offers to do my driveway and sidewalk when I am at work. He is going on 80 I think, and has never ask for a penny. He gets a $25 grocery store gift card from me after every snow storm (for the 15-20 minutes it takes him to use his snow blower) where he helped me out while I wasn’t home.

In my experiences, traveling a lot, most people are just oblivious to the world around them. Most people are good, caring people, but nobody pays attention to anything, they are just not literally considerate towards others or their surroundings. A lack of empathy maybe?

It’s amazing to watch but it can be infuriating.

With that being said, you probably shouldn’t expect any help from anyone. They likely have their own terrible problems/issues.

Our neighbors are still thoughtful on this kind of stuff for our driveway and we return the favor whenever we can. It’s mostly for friends if we know they’re out of town or vice versa, but if someone is shoveling and I’m done with the snowblower, I’ll walk it over and help out.

But it’s true that we have turned more inwards with our headphones and screens. If I’m on the subway, I will of course stand up to offer my seat if I see a pregnant woman or an elderly person… but will I be paying enough attention to notice them?

Here in suburban MA, I call the morning after a snow storm “New England Social Hour” because that’s when everyone is out shoveling and the best/only time to talk with each other (note: I’m an introvert). Everyone carefully does only their own area, but if you asked you could get help. I’ve shoveled our neighbor’s area when her back was hurt (repaid with brownies) and before we moved in (but after we closed on the house) our other neighbor had her teens shovel our walk (I offered to pay, it was rejected). One time an ambulance pulled up to a house across the street before they’d had a chance to shovel (woman was pregnant, don’t know what the issue was but everything turned out fine) and their place was positively swarmed with neighbors clearing a path.

FWIW, I grew up in CA, and had no idea what the customs were around this before buying a place here.

I’d like to say as another MA resident that I have some similar experiences. Our neighborhood is actually pretty nice - we’ve had block parties, there’s different “artist studio” events during the year when people either play music at their house, or show artwork, etc. I happen to visit one of my neighbors almost every day with my elderly dogs to hang out for a little bit, and I frequently bring her meals from whatever interesting thing I’ve cooked recently, and she always has cookies for my dogs. Lots of the neighbors also own dogs, and while we don’t always know all the neighbors names, we know all the dogs names. So there’s a lot of walls that have already been broken down in the community, and it’s easier to ask for help (or give help.)

I don’t think I’d be too shy offering or asking for help in the neighborhood.