Apology Judgement Thread of Humiliation

This is like saying you would rather have no unicorns than bad unicorns.
(There are no bad unicorns)

The day I no longer like pizza is the day I realize my time on earth is nearing the end.

I do think Papa Johnā€™s pizza is crap, though. Thankfully I have other options.

Eh. Iā€™ll argue this. I read a book a couple years back, Catherynne Valenteā€™s ā€œThe Orphanā€™s Talesā€ (one book split into two parts, really)- it had a neat 1001 Nights-style stories-within-stories-within-stories structure, and a very cool weird fantasy setting.

One of the stories was about unicorns, and how, completely contrary to popular lore, they arenā€™t pure, innocent creatures. In fact, theyā€™re the most corrupt beasts in existence- they crave pure, unspoiled virgins in an attempt to regain some of their lost purity.

Anyway. I liked it.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000MAH7Y0/ref=series_rw_dp_sw

This, and @wumpus tweet reply, opened my eyes and made me consider the world from a different perspective. Thanks.

I apologize for tainting the purity of pizza with filthy unicorns.

(Get it? Cause this is the apology thread)

If I had a choice between bad sex and like anything else, Iā€™d probably pick anything else too, like is there a romance novel around or maybe this Game of Thrones book I havenā€™t finished yet.

Heh, Iā€™ve actually gotten to this point in my life, too, at the ripe old age of 44 (at the end of the month). Itā€™s a slightly depressing/uplifting realization.

I even seem to remember @tomchick having a Shoot Club column back in the day- about going on a date with some gal when heā€™d rather be at home playing Aliens Vs Predator? Memory is fuzzy.

Goodbye!

Fuck you Papa John.

Aliens vs Sex! Very cool of you to remember.

http://www.quartertothree.com/columns/shoot_club/shoot_club_13a.shtml

-Tom

Man, where are we as a country if old white CEOs/chairs canā€™t even say the n word on a conference call? Psssssshhhh dumb communists.

Probably something someone said today or will say tomorrow about this news.

Awesome. I figured all those were archived somewhere. Thanks for the link, it was a fun re-read.

They are owned by Dr. Oetker? That is crazy. Frozen Pizza sold under the Dr. Oetker brand is awesome.

The real question is: is there a value for X for which bad pizza/sex is better than good X.

E.g.: Iā€™d rather have bad pizza than good ______.

Torture

Fish.

Get out.

Youā€™ll never silence me! The truth is our there. And the truth is, fish tastes fishy! Also, we over fish, and I donā€™t like fish

Great news. I wonā€™t ever have to see his smug, lying, racist face on TV ever again.

Edit: Whaddaya know? Publix has Ellioā€™s pizza.

Bad is bad.Good is good. If Good is bad then good is not good.