Apology Judgement Thread of Humiliation

RichVR · November 30, 2017, 6:38pm

I give it a 5. Boilerplate.

Strollen · November 30, 2017, 6:44pm

When reading the latest scandal news, WaPo directed me to a good apology.

It was given by Lousiana prosecutor responsible for sending an innocent man to death row who 30 years later was released.

His editorial is worth reading. Lead prosecutor apologizes for role in sending Glenn Ford to death row

His apology is worth emulating.

In my rebuttal argument during the penalty phase of the trial, I mocked Mr. Ford, stating that this man wanted to stay alive so he could be given the opportunity to prove his innocence. I continued by saying this should be an affront to each of you jurors, for he showed no remorse, only contempt for your verdict.

How totally wrong was I.

I speak only for me and no one else.

I apologize to Glenn Ford for all the misery I have caused him and his family.

I apologize to the family of Mr. Rozeman for giving them the false hope of some closure.

I apologize to the members of the jury for not having all of the story that should have been disclosed to them.

I apologize to the court in not having been more diligent in my duty to ensure that proper disclosures of any exculpatory evidence had been provided to the defense.

Glenn Ford deserves every penny owed to him under the compensation statute. This case is another example of the arbitrariness of the death penalty. I now realize, all too painfully, that as a young 33-year-old prosecutor, I was not capable of making a decision that could have led to the killing of another human being.

Nesrie · November 30, 2017, 8:07pm

https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/erik-wemple/wp/2017/11/30/matt-lauer-apologizes-with-a-common-caveat/?utm_term=.2621801a135b

Also WaPo

That’s pretty much pro forma these days for a busted sexual harasser: Pile on the regret, shame, disappointment and sorrow. Express a willingness to reckon. AND: Leave some wiggle room on the particulars: “Some of what is being said about me is untrue or mischaracterized, but there is enough truth in these stories to make me feel embarrassed and ashamed.” That’s the benefit-of-the-doubt clause.

Tin_Wisdom · December 13, 2017, 6:23pm

Mario Batali’s apology:

“I apologize to the people I have mistreated and hurt. Although the identities of most of the individuals mentioned in these stories have not been revealed to me, much of the behavior described does, in fact, match up with ways I have acted. That behavior was wrong and there are no excuses. I take full responsibility and am deeply sorry for any pain, humiliation or discomfort I have caused to my peers, employees, customers, friends and family.

“I have work to do to try to regain the trust of those I have hurt and disappointed. For this reason, I am going to step away from day-to-day operations of my businesses. We built these restaurants so that our guests could have fun and indulge, but I took that too far in my own behavior. I won’t make that mistake again. I want any place I am associated with to feel comfortable and safe for the people who work or dine there.

“I know my actions have disappointed many people. The successes I have enjoyed are owned by everyone on my team. The failures are mine alone. To the people who have been at my side during this time — my family, my partners, my employees, my friends, my fans — I am grateful for your support and hopeful that I can regain your respect and trust. I will spend the next period of time trying to do that.”

I’d rate this one pretty highly. In the first paragraph he says he’s sorry, he doesn’t dispute the allegations, he doesn’t try and offer much if anything in the way of excuses, and he acknowledges that his actions have brought pain to his supporting crews.

The second describes mostly what he’s going to do int he short-term. He stumbles a little here by implying that the “fun” atmosphere in his restaurants fed into his actions. “Fun” is probably not the term that the women he groped would have used.

The third pretty much announces his intention to return, much like Lauer did. I’m not sure I like that, but I’m not sure how I would have phrased it in his place. Declaring that you’re going to hide under a rock forever isn’t much better.

wumpus · December 14, 2017, 2:14am

Yes that one is quite solid.

JD · December 14, 2017, 1:03pm

One more case of someone making a statement before there were any media reports, I guess?

Telefrog · December 14, 2017, 2:02pm

The fuck is even going on in Spurlock’s confession?

Over my life, there have been many instances that parallel what we see everyday in the news. When I was in college, a girl who I hooked up with on a one night stand accused me of rape. Not outright. There were no charges or investigations, but she wrote about the instance in a short story writing class and called me by name. A female friend who was in the class told be about it afterwards.

I was floored.

“That’s not what happened!” I told her. This wasn’t how I remembered it at all. In my mind, we’d been drinking all night and went back to my room. We began fooling around, she pushed me off, then we laid in the bed and talked and laughed some more, and then began fooling around again. We took off our clothes. She said she didn’t want to have sex, so we laid together, and talked, and kissed, and laughed, and then we started having sex.

“Light Bright,” she said.

“What?”

“Light bright. That kids toy, that’s all I can see and think about,” she said … and then she started to cry. I didn’t know what to do. We stopped having sex and I rolled beside her. I tried to comfort her. To make her feel better. I thought I was doing ok, I believed she was feeling better. She believed she was raped.

That’s why I’m part of the problem.

Miguk · December 14, 2017, 6:07pm

I love this part:

I am part of the problem. We all are.

You see this same deflection over and over again. “I’m bad but so is every other man.” No. Nice try, perv, but you don’t get to drag me down with you.

delirium · December 16, 2017, 1:09am

wumpus · December 16, 2017, 1:14am

Yeah that is … less than optimal.

kerzain · December 16, 2017, 1:47am

Are you kidding? That’s a fucking 10/10.

rowe33 · December 16, 2017, 2:27am

The only way this could be more braindead is if he had named them his Schwetty Pizza Dough Balls and offered to personally deliver them to hungry mouths in 30 min or less.

wumpus · December 16, 2017, 3:12am

This forum needs a damn like button!

Tin_Wisdom · December 31, 2017, 3:26pm

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2017/12/19/the-10-most-ridiculous-celebrity-apologies-of-2017-that-have-nothing-to-do-with-harassment/?utm_term=.44c15f929627&wpisrc=nl_rainbow&wpmm=1

While waiting to get a spray tan in October, a topless Chrissy Teigen crossed her arm over herself as she posted a video on Snapchat — except her arm didn’t cover everything. After fans alerted her about this exposure, the model delivered a typically deadpan apology: “I just want to apologize to everyone I know. I’ve let my friends down. I’ve let my family down. I have nipples. It’s not something I’m proud of.”

YakAttack · December 31, 2017, 9:41pm

LOL45

YakAttack · December 31, 2017, 10:28pm

Strictly speaking, he’s correct.

Telefrog · January 2, 2018, 1:57pm

Man, that is a great non-apology.

wumpus · January 11, 2018, 10:44pm

Supposedly this one is great?

Nesrie · January 11, 2018, 11:17pm

That’s a great apology.

This is important

you can cause a lot of damage that is technically legal and hurts everybody,

Because too many people hide behind laws as if that’s our standard of behavior, but i am not sure it’s actually true in his case. He might have crossed a line, legally, but she doesn’t appear interested pursuing it.

wumpus · January 11, 2018, 11:32pm

Sort of, I still think it’s shitty because on top of JFC don’t have relationships at work you morons, be a goddamn professional already, which is very sound general advice for everyone:

he was already ~~married~~ living with another woman
he was her boss

So, yeah. Bad idea times 3.