Apology Judgement Thread of Humiliation


I give it a 5. Boilerplate.


When reading the latest scandal news, WaPo directed me to a good apology.

It was given by Lousiana prosecutor responsible for sending an innocent man to death row who 30 years later was released.

His editorial is worth reading. http://www.shreveporttimes.com/story/opinion/readers/2015/03/20/lead-prosecutor-offers-apology-in-the-case-of-exonerated-death-row-inmate-glenn-ford/25049063/

His apology is worth emulating.

In my rebuttal argument during the penalty phase of the trial, I mocked Mr. Ford, stating that this man wanted to stay alive so he could be given the opportunity to prove his innocence. I continued by saying this should be an affront to each of you jurors, for he showed no remorse, only contempt for your verdict.

How totally wrong was I.

I speak only for me and no one else.

I apologize to Glenn Ford for all the misery I have caused him and his family.

I apologize to the family of Mr. Rozeman for giving them the false hope of some closure.

I apologize to the members of the jury for not having all of the story that should have been disclosed to them.

I apologize to the court in not having been more diligent in my duty to ensure that proper disclosures of any exculpatory evidence had been provided to the defense.

Glenn Ford deserves every penny owed to him under the compensation statute. This case is another example of the arbitrariness of the death penalty. I now realize, all too painfully, that as a young 33-year-old prosecutor, I was not capable of making a decision that could have led to the killing of another human being.


Also WaPo

That’s pretty much pro forma these days for a busted sexual harasser: Pile on the regret, shame, disappointment and sorrow. Express a willingness to reckon. AND: Leave some wiggle room on the particulars: “Some of what is being said about me is untrue or mischaracterized, but there is enough truth in these stories to make me feel embarrassed and ashamed.” That’s the benefit-of-the-doubt clause.


Mario Batali’s apology:

I’d rate this one pretty highly. In the first paragraph he says he’s sorry, he doesn’t dispute the allegations, he doesn’t try and offer much if anything in the way of excuses, and he acknowledges that his actions have brought pain to his supporting crews.

The second describes mostly what he’s going to do int he short-term. He stumbles a little here by implying that the “fun” atmosphere in his restaurants fed into his actions. “Fun” is probably not the term that the women he groped would have used.

The third pretty much announces his intention to return, much like Lauer did. I’m not sure I like that, but I’m not sure how I would have phrased it in his place. Declaring that you’re going to hide under a rock forever isn’t much better.


Yes that one is quite solid.


One more case of someone making a statement before there were any media reports, I guess?


The fuck is even going on in Spurlock’s confession?



I love this part:

I am part of the problem. We all are.

You see this same deflection over and over again. “I’m bad but so is every other man.” No. Nice try, perv, but you don’t get to drag me down with you.



Yeah that is … less than optimal.


Are you kidding? That’s a fucking 10/10.


The only way this could be more braindead is if he had named them his Schwetty Pizza Dough Balls and offered to personally deliver them to hungry mouths in 30 min or less.


This forum needs a damn like button!


While waiting to get a spray tan in October, a topless Chrissy Teigen crossed her arm over herself as she posted a video on Snapchat — except her arm didn’t cover everything. After fans alerted her about this exposure, the model delivered a typically deadpan apology: “I just want to apologize to everyone I know. I’ve let my friends down. I’ve let my family down. I have nipples. It’s not something I’m proud of.”




Strictly speaking, he’s correct.


Man, that is a great non-apology.


Supposedly this one is great?


That’s a great apology.

This is important

you can cause a lot of damage that is technically legal and hurts everybody,

Because too many people hide behind laws as if that’s our standard of behavior, but i am not sure it’s actually true in his case. He might have crossed a line, legally, but she doesn’t appear interested pursuing it.


Sort of, I still think it’s shitty because on top of JFC don’t have relationships at work you morons, be a goddamn professional already, which is very sound general advice for everyone:

  • he was already married living with another woman
  • he was her boss

So, yeah. Bad idea times 3.