At the end of my rope

since i have a nasty and well-documented habit of going batshit insane on the boards when i am under stress or tired, i just thought i’d give a little heads-up to the board that now might be a good time to put me on Ignore

Well, I stay off the boards in those times and just drink more. You could go that route.

Vote to stake Rimbo.

Get some sleep? Just a small suggestion:)

Oh shit, you mean I should have waited until just now?

Have you tried going out into the woods, building a giant bonfire, stripping down, rubbing your naked body with crisco until you gleam in the firelight, dancing like a maniac around the towering inferno, and howling at the moon?

Or just taking a long, hot shower, lying down on the couch, jerking off a lot, and falling asleep with your hand glued to your crotch?

Sounds like you’re encouraging him to turn himself into a rotisserie.

Boards like this need some batshit to go along with the… whatever else it is that goes on here.

Some time ago, Rimbo mentioned that when he posts in all lower caps one of his hands is… busy.

Wait a minute… lower caps… rope…

Great. He’s discovered auto-asphyxiation.

I don’t understand the part about the Crisco. Would margarine or non-stick spray work? Is there a website where I can find out more about this?


Is anyone else wondering about stusser fantasizing about Rimbo in two scenarios, in one of which he’s naked, and in the other he’s jerking off?

Aawww, what’s wrong buddy? Have you considered therapy?

Crisco is shelf-stable and odorless while non-stick spray tends to get sticky and tacky due to emulsifiers and stabilizers added by the manufacturor. Margarine could indeed work as an alternative, but it goes rancid when heated and its trans-fatty acids degenerate. Also, the fake butter smell could attract ants. Of course I would never suggest eating hydrogenated vegetable oils due to the unhealthy aforementioned trans-fats contained therein, but they shine up a pudgy untanned geek like nothing else. That’s why I didn’t originally suggest using a polyunsaturated neutral vegetable oil like grapeseed, light olive, or corn oil. While they are also shelf stable, much healthier to consume, and don’t have the odor issues, their viscosity is simply too thin and when heated would drip off his sculpted nude form, destroying belly and underarm flap definition, rendering the skin dull, not reflecting the moon or the roaring bonfire, and totally destroying the artistic effect I was going for.

The sympathy, it is thick like a fog.

Basic human decency obliges me to say ‘I hope you get through ok’

stusser, you know way, way, way too much about this

i actually, without having read it, went the Tyjenks route… almost all of a bottle of Chimay blue label. I shared a wee bit with one of my fellow board of directors members, who commented, “Wow, it’s beer, and i don’t hate it.” well duh, it’s ale, not beer, and it’s damned good

also, good news, my son finally seems to be recovering from whatever mystery disease he’s had since Friday night, so that is a happy thought

I’m not looking forward to seeing my email tomorrow though. I was a bit … uh… brusque with another board of directors person who was being nasty to me, so I bit back. Hard

fortunately other board of directors members seem to be okay. i don’t think it’s entirely because I’m the lone male on the board under age 40 or whatever (at least i think G’s over 40) and the rest are female near or at retirement age

yes, i think it is better to be drunk and happy than tired and frustrated. I am sitting here typing this naked with my gut hanging out. i don’t care how nasty it looks, the girlfriend/wife/whatever can enjoy the view or ignore it as she so chooses, at least I’m swimming occasionally to do soemthing about it and now i’m rambling and getting too tired to check my spelling and grammer so I spell “soemthing” and “grammer” instead of “something” and “grammar”

odd how thinking about it allows me to do it correctly (took 2 tries to get “correctly” correctly)


OK, everyone, what’s your favorite quote?

OH YEAH! And reading books to my son before he went to bed in this state was a fun experience. Much laughter was had by both. I think Mom got irritated. Nanny did too. Fuck 'em, it was FUN. We were reading a Cars book with buttons that make sound effects, wait, I’ll find amazon link… damn, can’t find it, it’s one of those books with the buttons on the side and you push 'em and they make various sounds whenever you see the right icon in the middle of the text. anyway, he’d pretend he couldn’t find it and I’d wait, and act all irritated, and then we’d giggle and then we’d laugh and laugh and then we couldn’t finish the book and then we’d finish and oh god, it was so much fun.

i love being a dad

doesnt’ a drunk happy rimbo beat the shit out of an annoying flamewar-starting rimbo? i think so too

of course i’ll probably be too embarrassed to show up here for the next week

you know that I only recently learned how to spell “embarrassed” correctly? I take great pride in spelling correctly. I lost a spelling bee in 6th grade to a 5th grader; the two of us went back and forth so long they dismissed the audience and we stayed until a few hours after school until she finally won. I couldn’t spell “Chauffeur.” Which is stupid, because “The Chauffeur” was, and still is, one of my favorite songs EVER (by Duran Duran. Seriously, this song is awesome.)

Like I said, drunk happy Rimbo is better than angry pissed off flamewar-starting insane rimbo, no?

Are those the LeapFrog electronic books?

I think, it’s-time-for-bed-Rimbo is probably the best Rimbo right now.