Awesomely Bad Movies


#41

If you’re not opposed to violence (read: gore), I recommend The Story of Riki-Oh. Easy to laugh at the ridiculous violence in this one.


#42

Heck, if you want Bad Movies, head up to B-Fest in Chicago (difficulty: it’s in January. In Chicago). Or, you can just follow this list. I’m not ashamed to say that my friends and I have sponsored several of these movies over the past few years, including RobotJox, Baby Geniuses 2: Superbabies, The Room, and The Apple.

In fact, I think that the fact that I’m not ashamed to say that indicates there’s something fundamentally wrong with me.


#43

Arise!

I was going to start a thread called “Terrible Movies I’ve Watched Recently” and considering whether to add “That Were Interesting” when I vaguely remembered we already had a thread of this sort.

When my wife is gone a few days, I have a habit of watching really bad movies, intentionally. Not really sure why, but it is sorta fun.

So, in the week between Christmas and New Years, she was gone a couple of nights. I present, for your non-viewing pleasure:

Death Wish, the remake, with Bruce Willis. Bruce is at his Keanu Reeves worst in terms of emoting. His character goes from liberal to Ted Nugent in the course of about 30 seconds in one scene of the movie. The plot is of course stupid, the level of coincidences ludicrous, and overall I give it about 3/4 of a star out of 5.

Origin Unknown, 2036. I assume this was direct to video. I found it on Netflix. Oh god what a trainwreck. I’d call it a Katie Sackhoff vanity project, but could such a thing actually exist? She is onscreen for roughly 95% of the movie (I refuse to call it a film), and the poor woman just canNOT act. There are only two other humans in the movie–one woman who only ever appears on a video screen, and then a dude who does a walk-on early in the movie, then shows up for maybe 5 minutes toward the end before dying. Then the director tries to do a "last 30 minutes of 2001, A Space Odyssey thing that is a complete failure, and the entire movie makes very little sense. Is the AI self-evolved? Is it an alien construct? Should I care? Is destroying the Earth and killing all living creatures really necessary to save humankind? Does that make any fucking sense at all? This one gets a 0.0 out of 5.


#44

This is more “badly awesome” than “awesomely bad,” but…

Directed by “the great” Jim Wynorski.


#45

Inspired by the recent Flop House episode?


#46

I was thinking that was the movie where Peter Weller duels a giant rat in his house while it’s undergoing renovation, but turns out that was called “Of Unknown Origin.” I haven’t thought of that movie in like, forever. I don’t know that I’d call it awesomely bad really.


#47

Maybe I misunderstood the meaning of the thread title. I am in no way recommending any of these movies. They possess no redeeming qualities. I feel like I am in the “I fell on the bullet so you don’t have to” with these movies.

I also watched Pitch Black and Chronicles of Riddick (as well as Riddick: Dark Fury) during the break. Now THOSE, any self-respecting bad SF movie aficionado should be familiar with and have watched at least once.


#48

Since you watched these and Origin Unknown did you notice this?

The AI ARTi housing looks to be the same prop used in the film Riddick (2013) Cyclops, a high-tech sensor device employed by the mercs, ALSO starring Katee Sackhoff - That robot is following her around.


#49

I own all four of these on DVD, and they’re wonderfully terrible.


#50

Deathstalker, is that the one that’s basically Conan if you replaced Conan with Keanu Reeves?


#51

Wannabe Keanu Reeves is more like it. They’re also mildly porny.


#52


#53

I’ve actually seen that. It is…amusing in a weird way.


#54

This one–listed on Amazon Prime under the much cooler title of “Robo Vampire 3 - Counter Destroy”–is one of the most wonderfully terrible films I’ve ever seen. Cobbled together mostly from several unrelated existing films, it has this weird fever dream quality to it. Everything makes so little sense that your brain ends up trying to fill in the narrative gaps and make connections that just aren’t there. I challenge anyone to try to describe the plot without it sounding like talking about a strange dream they once had.


#55

Featuring possibly my all-time favorite line from anything at 14m 3s.


#56

Freaked (1993)


#57

Heh. I actually have a DVD copy of it. Love to break it out now and then. Candy Samples, aging porn goddess. Cosmic Power Pasties. Penisaureses. The demon at the end.

Maybe you gotta be high. :)


#58

I agree that being high helps.

But, if I recall correctly, the best scene and best line is when the cyclops dude gets shot with a laser or something in rectum, and says “Right up my ass!”


#59

“Ow! My ass!”


#60

Starring the other guy from Bill & Ted. Although Keanu does have a cameo. You might not recognize him.

“Good thing we weren’t on that plane!”