Babysitters

Don’t you have a TV? Put on the blue’s clues DVD and have fun!

Guaranteed to arrive home properly spanked.

I would recommend using fewer analogies involving ripe fruit when discussing babysitters.

Alternatively you can just give up on having a social life without kids.

You’re young enough that the Viagra will still work once they’ve moved out right?

http://www.sittercity.com ? It costs money, but you can always interview them before leaving them alone with your kid. Make 'em provide references and whatnot.

Wait. Some folks don’t interview sitters before leaving them alone with their kids?