"Bacon, pork shortage 'now unavoidable,' industry group says"

Good thing the guy from the donkey thread doesn’t have a sow. He’d have to stop putting lipstick on his pig because soon he’ll be makin’ bacon in the literal sense.

So long, pig!

Or did I get the punctuation wrong?

So, long pig?

Hey Corsair, put on a little weight, eh? Wanna some over for a smoke?

The Mayans were right!

You don’t wanna go there - I have utterly no doubt I am as poisonous as my pen.

But, I will probably go to the store tomorrow for some baby back ribs, now that I think about it. Gonna pig out while I can.

“Some nations have strategic oil reserves. Some keep grain reserves. China has both, and something others have somehow overlooked: a national pork reserve.”

This is indeed dire news. During the week I’m pretty bacon and sausage-free, but come Saturday and Sunday I like to have what I call a “real breakfast” which includes at least one egg and some kind of breakfast meat.

I demand to see Ron Swanson’s reaction to this news.

Obviously these guys weren’t at the same bar I was last weekend, 'cause that was a total sausage fest

Tannis agrees with you!

The rest of us think you’re just craaaazy, though.

Anyway, it won’t just be pork production that’s hurt by the drought and rising cost of feed; expect it to affect all domestic livestock & poultry. Which is clearly all a nefarious plot by Michelle Obama to force us all to become vegetarians. Well, I say: Fight the (Wo)man - Do Have a Cow (While You Still Can)!

Looks like it’s time to invest in some turkey bacon futures.

“Turkey Bacon is people, IT’S PEOPLE!!!”

No, turkey bacon is shit, and the people who sell it should feel like shit because they are shit.

That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.

So should I load up on bacon this weekend? Is this gonna be like the ammo shortage, but for bacon?

That was caused by speculators too, I recall.

I blame these guys.

Aw, now they’re saying the bacon shortage is baloney.

That headline writer is such a ham.

Bacon shortage? More like farmer shortage, I say.

I wish the Monty Python crew would come back and do a spoof of The Beetles’ “Tax Man” called, forgive me, “Spam Man” and film it in Austin, MN (Hormel, the maker of Spam is based there). The looming pork crisis would fit perfectly.
I would like to blame Qt3 for bringing this sort of thing out of me. Truth is, it is always there. Waiting…

P.S. For those interested there is a Spam Easy Quiche recipe on the CD jacket of the Gear Daddy’s first CD. Good CD if you like Americana that veers heavily towards the side of twangy country.

Hey, I love the Gear Daddies! I wanna drive the Zamboni, I wanna drive, the Zam-bo-ni, yes I do