Bad movie ideas (that are interesting)

A Bond-esque spy thriller… where the state is the enemy of the people.

Terra has Fallen
A blockbuster sequel and the movie that completes the epic “Something has Fallen” Quadtrilogy.

Gerard Butler, a former US secret service agent, finds himself in charge of Earth’s defense forces/resistance against an alien invasion that devastates Earth.

I’d like to see Cortez vs. Montezuma and the fall of Tenochtitlan done up full jillion-dollar-epic style. Not sure who to root for, though. Probably some Spanish priest looking on in horror at the whole business.

JJ Abrams’ Alias

I wouldn’t mind seeing a global epic movie where no one makes it. As in, we really did screw it up, we all die, everything dies. It starts with focusing on the problems of men, sometimes specific people and governments, we watch multiple failures over time. We lose central characters but misguided hope springs again as we cling to the next major character. Then it’s an animal species, fish, finally some of the smallest surviving organisms. We keep hoping what happens is we see the renewal scene, where life springs anew, that one small young plant growing out of the soil, or that animal with a small baby. Instead, the last parting scene is similar to seeing earth become like Mars, completely devoid of live.

A tragedy of our own making.

Red Sparrow?

I really wanted the Pitch Perfect movies to go something like:

  • Pitch Perfect - Bellas vs Nation
  • Pitch Perfect 2 - Bellas vs World
  • Pitch Perfect 3 - Bellas vs Galaxy

I was just watching the Hallmark Channel, and an idea occurred to me about a charming widower Prince of a fictitious European country meeting a beautiful young American commoner. They meet during the Christmas holidays and start dating. She is swept off her feet, but ultimately he passes her up for another member of royalty. End movie.

You Stole My Idea!: a gritty revenge flick where a young aspiring screenwriter is distraught to find that Hollywood is making a movie that is probably based on a script outline he came up with back in college. He tries to shut down the production with bloody and hilarious results. There is a dramatic climax set in a courtroom where a judge opens a certified mail envelope the screenwriter had mailed to himself years ago. Is that sufficient evidence to give the writer the fame and fortune he probably deserves?

Coming Up Empty: A sex farce like they used to make in the '70s and '80s where a dude in his 40s or 50s winds up with some teenage girl and… maybe this isn’t a good idea. Maybe the girl, no, woman should be in her late 20s or 30s.

No You Go: A heartwarming, Altman-esque story about the characters that converge at a four-way intersection at the same time. Nobody wants to drive through first because they are decent Americans.

Target Dead Center: A gritty revenge flick where the CEO of a Fortune 50 retail company is fired after Ukrainian hackers exploit weaknesses in his company’s data security, causing scandal. He’s technically comfortable with his golden parachute, but he wants vengeance against the punks who did this to him. Time to charter a yacht to Odessa, to lock and load, and – what’s that? Russia is also invading the Ukraine?

That’s pretty much Snowpiercer.

I’m thinking something more -now- but yep, in a future sense, I think that does apply.

You Stole My Idea!

You might enjoy “The Player” then, except replace court room scenes with lots of hollywood cameos and fake movie bits. And Paranoia.

Yeah, Tim Robbins stole my idea for that movie.

I’d like to see a follow up to this movie:
“You Can Pull Out” : Another heartwarming story, this time about a good Southern Christian woman, dead set to ensure that everyone is free to pull out ahead of her during rush hour, ensuring her own road to heaven. But the twist is that this same phrase is what spun her life into pieces, as she practiced unsafe sex with multiple partners, leaving her as a single mother with eight children, with ages from 2 to 20. Can she herself get on that freeway to God and turn her life around?

Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit, a 140-minute PG-rated action-adventure-comedy starring Martin Freeman as an unerringly accurate Bilbo and Richard Armitage as a breathtakingly sympathetic Thorin Oakenshield, plus the always-excellent Ian McKellan reprising his turn as Gandalf from the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Jackson, granted unparalleled control of the project by a New Line Cinemas eager to make right the wrongs they did him during the production of The Lord of the Rings trilogy, is able to focus his lifelong love for the writings of J.R.R. Tolkien into a heartwarming, exciting, funny, and surprisingly accurate screen rendition of one of the most beloved children’s books of all time.

Of course, it would never work. Who could possibly want to watch that?

(I might be a little bitter)

Being Phil Eklund
A movie about finding a board game that transports you into the head of Phil Eklund. Our protagonists uses this to get their hands on crates full of hard to get Sierra Madre games that they sell for huge profits on the secondary market.

There is a tie-in board game where you play game companies manipulating supply and demand for your games, trying to secure the most profit through maximizing both the retail, crowdfunding and secondary market streams.

That’s pretty bad, thanks!