Bananas and Nuts

Brian_Seiler · 2010-11-18T07:50:34.000Z

Not at all. My head is totally a different shape. And I’m not quite that fat. Yet. And my shirt pockets have buttons - not snaps. And it’s not plaid. And I don’t smoke. And I haven’t worked in an office that had wood paneling like that for at least five years. And I don’t have a mustache. And my watchband is metal. And…

Hunty · 2010-11-18T07:55:16.000Z

Bahimiron:

The text is unnecessary. If your retort involves fully admitting to, or perhaps even boasting about, having sucked the dick of the person who suggested you go suck a dick, you earned your F- before typing a single word.

No getting round this I’m afraid.

Also, the strutting hawk is awesome.

Mightynute · 2010-11-18T07:55:16.000Z

Lynch:

Jesus Fucking Christ in Heaven, Seiler.

More concise, but tends to wander. Utilizing the “Fucking” epithet as part of “Jesus Christ” is meant for emphasis on its own, while adding the prepositional phrase “in Heaven” seems tacked-on and unnecessary, like a spoiler on your '88 VW Golf.

In addition, referring to a poster by surname usually indicates an air of familiar dismissiveness often coming from an employer or teacher. Given the animosity, addressing the target with familiarity seems to negate the intended hostility of the message.

Evaluation: You may have potential as a future troll, and may some day be known as a true miscreant or even blight on humanity. However, with such puerile and amateurish ripostes, your current prospects seem to be limited to “pissant” or “wanker”, depending on what side of the Atlantic you’re on.

Postscript: Due to body of work in such a short time, however, you may be in the running for the annual Bill Q. Dungsroman Cocksnuggling Douchenozzle in Retrograde Scholarship for future trollish endeavors. Keep it up!

Abilio_Carvalho · 2010-11-18T07:58:32.000Z

William Q. Dungsroman. For shame.

Mightynute · 2010-11-18T08:01:13.000Z

Abilio Carvalho:

William Q. Dungsroman. For shame.

Look, now we’re going to have to get all the citations re-printed and halt production on the statuettes.

TimElhajj · 2010-11-18T17:57:53.000Z

Abilio Carvalho:

I can’t believe people I never even interacted with are still sandyvaginaed about me calling tom.

Wife: Hello? Yes, he’s in. Hold on. [puts phone to chest] Some dude named Abilio wants to talk to you about something you did on the Internet.

Me: Shit. Tell him I don’t want to discuss it.

Wife: Do I look like a secretary?

BobJustBob · 2010-11-18T18:12:28.000Z

Hahahaha, that’s funny. Tom married. Ha! Let me know if you hit any comedy clubs in Alabama.

tiohn · 2010-11-18T18:28:15.000Z

dogs43altaltalt.png800×600

jerri_blank · 2010-11-18T19:14:42.000Z

I have no idea wtf that is, but it made me laugh. It’s been a bad day. Thanks for that.

Nengjanggo · 2010-11-18T19:22:53.000Z

I hate to say it, Lynch is making some of you look stupid, and I’m not even reading his posts.

Athryn · 2010-11-18T19:39:54.000Z

jerri blank:

I have no idea wtf that is, but it made me laugh. It’s been a bad day. Thanks for that.

hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com

Dogs Don't Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving

Packing all of your belongings into a U-Haul and then transporting them across several states is nearly as stressful and futile as ...

Dufresne · 2010-11-18T19:49:07.000Z

Actually, the first picture of that post probably won’t make you feel much better.

jerri_blank · 2010-11-18T20:08:55.000Z

Holy hell, that’s hilarious.

Oh, and sandyvaginaed is not the same as amused. I was amused.

Staff_Sergeant · 2010-11-18T20:19:59.000Z

I recognize the style of the people from something but I can’t remember what.

EDIT: Oh yeah I’ve seen that blog before, but I don’t remember when.

Raife · 2010-11-18T20:27:05.000Z

Lynch:

Jesus Fucking Christ in Heaven

Jesus and Christ are the same person. Hope that helps!

kerzain · 2010-11-18T21:29:01.000Z

That pic almost reminds me of this one, except without the charades:

Chris_WPG · 2010-11-19T01:54:29.000Z

Brian Seiler:

F-

Tiny and little are redundant terms, which makes it sound like you’re trying too hard to formulate your burn, and “worm” makes it sound like you think that a penis is a living creature symbiotically grafted onto your body. It also makes it look like you’ve got the English vocabulary of a seven year old Jivaro boy. You would have been better advised to go with something alliterative (e.g. “shrimpy pickle”) or, with some significant alterations to the construction, the egghead angle (e.g. “diminutive member”).

Also, comma asides in the middle of insults only serve to distract from your point, particularly when you replace a single syllable (“point”) with multiple ones (“incident”).

Also, “tooth space” is awkward phrasing, particularly when you put it after the unnecessary aside.

Also, I’m not sure if you’re familiar with how the whole insult hierarchy on the internet typically works - I recommend reviewing this episode of South Park before making another attempt.

Also, try breaking paragraphs before following up with your secondary also attempt. Putting it right after your first, awkwardly phrased attempt interrupts the flow.

“The Perfect Eternal Jackass”

Athryn:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/11/dogs-dont-understand-basic-concepts.html

Holy hell that’s funny.

MrCoffee · 2010-11-19T02:53:56.000Z

Athryn:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/11/dogs-dont-understand-basic-concepts.html

Hah that link made my morning great.

inactive_user · 2010-11-19T11:09:04.000Z

Hyperbole and a Half is, no joke, like the funniest blog on the whole Internets.

Dave_Markell · 2010-11-19T11:44:10.000Z

Athryn:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/11/dogs-dont-understand-basic-concepts.html

This thread has been a very unhappy place of late–but that went a long way towards making up for it. I laughed so hard that my jaw hurt.