I just wanted to mention that UbiFail’s privacy policy is quite a sight to behold. It’s just an enormous wall of text, with no paragraphs. The following is a small fraction of what it contains and how it reads (it’s over 50,000 characters in total, and posts here can only hold 10,000):
UBISOFT ONLINE PRIVACY STATEMENT
open only if you dare
Last updated July 14, 2005 Welcome to Ubisoft! OUR PRIVACY COMMITMENT Ubisoft Inc., Ubisoft Holdings Inc., and its subsidiaries (collectively, “Ubisoft USA” or “Ubisoft” or “we”), respect the privacy rights of our online visitors and recognize the importance of protecting all information that you may choose to share with us. To further this commitment, we have adopted this Online Privacy Policy (“Privacy Policy”) to guide how we collect, store, and use the information you provide us. This Privacy Statement and the certification seal shown on this page confirm that Ubisoft is a member in good standing of ESRB’s Privacy Online Program. ESRB’s Privacy Online Program is designed to ensure that our website’s information disclosure practices are responsible and appropriate. To protect your privacy, we have voluntarily undertaken this privacy initiative and all of our websites have been reviewed and certified by ESRB Privacy Online to meet established online information collection and use practices. As part of this privacy program, we are subject to frequent audits of our sites and other enforcement and accountability mechanisms administered independently by the ESRB. TABLE OF CONTENTS Q1. What information does this Privacy Statement cover? Q2. What types of personally identifiable information do we collect about our guests? Q3. How is your personally identifiable information used and shared? Q4. What choices do you have about the collection, use, and sharing of your personally identifiable information? Q5. What kinds of security measures do we take to safeguard your personally identifiable information? Q6. How can you update your personal information and profile? Q7. How can you ask questions, or send us comments, about this Privacy Policy? Q8. How will you know if we amend this Privacy Policy? Q1. What information does this Privacy Statement cover? A1. This Privacy Policy applies only to personal information collected on the websites where this Privacy Policy is posted, and does not apply to any other information collected by Ubisoft through any other means. This Privacy Policy applies to use and sharing of personal information collected on and after the date that this Privacy Policy is posted. Please note that this Privacy Policy applies only to information submitted and collected online through the websites listed above, and does not apply to information that may be collected by Ubisoft offline. This Privacy Policy applies only to websites maintained by Ubisoft USA and not to sites maintained by other companies or organizations to which we link including: (i) www.bluebyte.net and other sites operated by the Blue Byte Game Channel; (ii) our parent company, Ubisoft Entertainment S.A.; and, (iii) our international affiliates (e.g., Ubisoft in Japan, Ubisoft in Canada, Ubisoft in the UK, etc.). Ubisoft is therefore not responsible for the content or activities provided on such sites. Finally, the terms of this Privacy Policy are subject to all applicable laws. Q2. What types of personally identifiable information do we collect about our guests? A2. We collect several types of personal information about our guests. Personal information is information that identifies you and may be used to contact you. Information You Provide to Us All of the personal information we receive comes directly from our guests. We collect personal information from our guests to: Create a Ubi.com account Apply for a beta tester position Subscribe to one of our newsletters Email-a-friend Participate in our community forums or chat rooms Shop at one of our online stores Receive customer or technical support Participate in contests, events, or promotions Register product online for warranty protection Polls, surveys, or questionnaires Typically, this information includes: name email address telephone number shipping and billing address, and for those purchasing products online, credit card information. Additionally, we may also collect other types of non-personal information (known as demographic information) such as your age or date of birth, gender, country and zip code of residence, recent game purchases, and game ownership and preferences. This demographic information may be associated with your personal information. Information Collected Through Technology We collect information through technology to make our websites more interesting and useful to you. For example, when you come to one of our websites, we collect your IP address. An IP address is often associated with the portal through which you enter the Internet, like your ISP (Internet service provider), your company, or your university. Standing alone, your IP address is not personally identifiable. At times, we also use IP addresses to collect information regarding the frequency with which our guests visit various parts of our websites. We may combine this information with personally identifiable information. Cookies Our websites also use cookies. Cookies are pieces of information that a website sends to your computer while you are viewing the website. We and other companies use cookies for a variety of purposes. For example, when you return to one of our websites after logging in, cookies provide information to the website so that the website will remember who you are. You can choose to have your computer warn you each time a cookie is being sent, or you can choose to turn off all cookies. You can do this through your browser (like Netscape Navigator or Internet Explorer) settings. Each browser is a little different, so look at your browser Help menu to learn the correct way to modify your cookies. If you turn cookies off, you won’t have access to many features that make your web experience smoother, like the features mentioned above, and some of our services may not function properly. Finally, once you’ve clicked on an advertisement and have left our websites, our Privacy Policy no longer applies and you must read the privacy policy of the advertiser to see how your personal information will be handled on their website. Q3. How is your personally identifiable information used and shared? A3. We don’t sell or rent your personal information to third parties without your consent. We don’t require personal information to access our website. However, if you prefer not to disclose personal information, you will not be able to enjoy certain features of our website. Information collected from those who create a ubi.com account is used to provide services like subscription to our general newsletter, email announcements relating to your account, free online gameplaying, access to the latest game news and exclusive store promotions, and participation in community forums and contests and sweepstakes. In some instances, however, you may also be given the option to have your information used for an activity or service different from the activity or service that you are requesting (e.g., have your name entered into a contest when subscribing to a game-specific newsletter and vice versa). If you choose to receive these additional services, we will use your information to provide you those services. Ubisoft Updates We may also use your email address to send you service announcements that tell you about updates to our Privacy Policy, changes in pricing, changes to our online service or customer support policies, and other related service changes. Also, please note that if you create a ubi.com and your account is later cancelled (e.g., due to lack of activity), we may subsequently contact you to let you know that we’ve reactivated your account for a short period of time. Whatever the purpose may be, we will only collect information to the extent reasonably necessary to fulfill your requests and our legitimate business objectives. Operational Uses We may also use your personal information for other purposes such as “Operational Uses.” For example, we may use your information to send you administrative communications either about your account with us or about features of our websites, including any future changes to this Privacy Policy. Aggregate Information Finally, we may take your personally identifiable information and make it non-personally identifiable, either by combining it with information about other individuals (aggregating your information with information about other individuals), or by removing characteristics (such as your name) that make the information personally identifiable to you (de-personalizing your information). Given the nature of this information, no restrictions apply under this Privacy Policy on our right to aggregate or de-personalize your personal information, and we may use and share in any way with third parties the resulting non-personally identifiable information. Business Information For practical reasons, we treat personal information submitted to us in a business capacity different from information we receive in a non-business capacity. Personal information submitted to us in a business capacity (e.g. resumes) may be shared with third parties, depending on the nature of the inquiry. Purchase or Sale of Businesses From time to time, we may purchase a business or sell one or more of our businesses and your personally identifiable information may be transferred as a part of the purchase or sale.
Whomever was the author of that crap deserves to die a fiery death in that corner of hell that only the nastiest of lawyers belong (no offense to lawyers in general, as there are actually plenty of nice, decent ones out there - it’s just that some have such a capacity for evil it boggles the mind).
