So I had a chance to talk to the ex, and clear up a few things. Like the fact that she was seeing two other fucking guys for a couple weeks near the end there. Or the fact that she’s emotionally crippled from a childhood of parental neglect, and sees nothing wrong with telling me she really felt nothing beyond the laughs and the lust while we were together. That she’s sorry I wasted a part of me caring about her, but that I should’ve known better.
FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK.
Okay, I need some suggestions for post-wallowing rage. Songs to make me forget I fucking wasted emotions on that thing. Songs to purge any lingering feelings I have in raw hellfire.
Tom will completely back me up on this but you should download (if you ask nicely, I’ll supply; or buy, it’s a hell of an album that the songs are from) Local H’s PJ Soles and its accompanying How’s the Weather?
That’s the fucked up thing. She wasn’t being mad, she just has no fucking emotional involvement beyond, according to her, the laughs and the lust. And apparently I was too blind to realize how emotionally broken she is. How we were together because it was fun, but she has no concept of real romantic involvement. At all. Fucking Korean chicks. Bane of my existance.
Most industrial music is pretty good for this sort of feeling.
Early Ministry (i.e. The Land of Rape and Honey, The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste) is perfect. TLoRaH, in particular, is perhaps the best “I hate you, you [censored] bitch” music ever.
If you’re not into someone as discordant as Ministry, Sister Machine Gun is also pretty good. Pretty much anything by SMG is worth listening to, as it’s both angry and it generally has a good beat.
Frontline Assembly is also fairly classic angry music, although the lyrics generally have almost nothing to do with relationships.
I would have put Nine Inch Nail’s Pretty Hate Machine in the category of music to wallow to, personally, but Broken is definitely much angrier.
I’m sorry, balut. That’s fucked up shit. Some of my favorite anger music includes: ProPain, anything. Rammstein. Mostly the first album, minus Heirate Mich. The nice thing about Rammstein is, if you don’t know German, just focus on the anger in the music. Godsmack is also good. There is nothing better than driving and blasting “I fuckin’ hate you! You’re such a liar!” Man, there is just so much anger music out there…
Early Ministry (i.e. The Land of Rape and Honey, The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste) is perfect.
Quibble – that’s mid-Ministry, not early. Early Ministry sounds like an edgy version of the Pet Shop Boys. Late Ministry (Dark Side of the Spoon, Filth Pig) sounds like…ass.
I would vote for Broken by NIN, quite possibly one of the single most fucking pissed-but-not-wallowing rage filled albums. Too bad it was only an EP (but you can get Fixed, which are remixes, to extend the hatred).
I pretty much listened to that album and Downward Spiral exclusively while at 3Dfx…good tims.
BTG – You’re absolutely right. I’ve tried to wipe “Every Day is Halloween” and “With Sympathy”* from my mind, despite the fact that I have both on the shelf. I think those albums explain why Alain and Paul are so fucking pissed off with life in TLoRaH. I also can’t stand later Ministry – they lost their edge in the mid-90s.
Also a good call on Downward Spiral…
Damn you, BTG. Now I’ve got “Work for Love” stuck in my head… Arghhhh…
Thanks again for the suggestions. Grabbed some Local H, threw that, some Tool, some Disturbed, some At the Drive In, and some NIN into a new playlist. Korn’s “Thoughtless” and “Falling Away From Me” also made their way onto the list. Linkin Park’s “Faint” was a surprise entry, as well. “Used to Love Her” by GnR, and then, for shits and giggles, Biz Markie’s “Just a Friend”.
Looking forward to what else comes up on this thread for me to get.
Oh, and the thing is, I really don’t stay white-hot angry for very long. Even now, it’s more of a simmering anger rather than wall-punching rage.
If she really means all that stuff about laughs and lust, then I take back anything positive I said about her in the previous thread. All the wonderful nerd-appeal interests in the world won’t make up for that level of dysfunction. If she doesn’t really mean it, and she’s just saying it to you to make herself feel better about her decision or something to that effect, then she’s still pretty fucked up.
So sorry that she did this to you, but remember that you ultimately come out on top here. She’s the one that has to live with herself.
For that post-wallowing rage, nothing moved me better than side one of Tom Petty’s Long After Dark: “One Story Town”, “You Got Lucky”, “Deliver Me”, “Change Of Heart”, and “I’m Finding Out” are all full of piss and bile and rage at someone who done Mr. Petty wrong.
And then there’s Graham Parker’s early solo stuff. “Local Girls” is hilarious malicious, in particular.
But my favorite all time has to be a song that unless you were a fan of really obscure Kiwi indie pop from the early 1980’s passed you by. It’s by an utterly fantastic band who deserved to sell billions of records called Sneaky Feelings. The song is called “The Strange and Conflicting Feelings Of Separation and Betrayal” and that it somehow not only lives up to, but surpasses that title is in itself a small miracle. “I wanna even up the score/yeah its venom that I’m lookin’ for” is the opening line, and from there it just takes off. Enjoy!