Blindsided and in freefall.

Monday. Around 9:30 PM.

I have felt that the wife has been distant for a while. So I had a drink and asked her about it. Fearing the worst. I had no fucking idea.

She finally admitted that she has been unhappy with our relationship for some time. She was planning to discuss me getting my own apartment.

I was shocked. I was hurt. I was afraid. I was angry.

I had another drink. A strong one. I was stupid.

We got into a fight. I started to tell her, in great detail, how if she went on with this I would kill myself.

Let me make this clear right now. I had no intention of actually killing myself. Let me make this clear.

I had zero intention of self harm.

What I did have was shock, fear, anger, hurt and fear. Fear. That almost 30 years of a relationship going down the toilet. That I love her so much and she would dispose of me like a used tissue.

I wanted to hurt her the same way that I perceived that she was hurting me.

Well shortly there was a knock at the door. She got it and in walk two cops. They handcuff me and they me that I was being brought to a hospital for a 72 hour stay under the Baker Act.

Danger of self harm. Handcuffed and in a patrol car.

I can’t continue this right now. But I will. I need to get it all out.

For those that might be curious, this is not a joke.

Edit: If you @ me now I will not reply. I need some time.

Just to clarify, there is much more to this.

I have concern and I hope you are OK. I’ve not been on this board for all that long, but I’m glad that we all have a good support network with each other.

Gotta say this is one of my Big Fears.

Damn dude, I feel safe in speaking for all here saying you’re a highly valued member of the forum and while we haven’t actually met in person I have a high regard for you. I hope you have some time to sort things out for yourself and with your wife, and if you need to talk things out I’d make myself available, if it would help.

It’ll be okay, Rich. No matter what happens, things will be okay.

Know that you are cared for and supported, and that all of us here are pulling for you.

Oh, man, that really sucks. Hang in there, everything will work out for the best ultimately.

Ah, hell. I’m so sorry, Rich.

Rich I’m very sorry this is happening. Hopefully this can lead you some communication with your wife and you two can work this out together. We’re all pulling for you.

I don’t know what help and support you need right now, but know that I hope you are able to get it, and work things out to the best possible outcome.

May better days be coming.

This is horrible, I’m so sorry Rich.

Man dude, I’m sorry and scared for you. Know that you’re valued and we enjoy you here. It will be hard, but I hope you can push aside the anger, it’s a shitty emotion that can’t help you. Focus on the positives. You’re alive. You’re aware. You have friends.

We’re pulling for you, just talk to us when you’re ready.

Rich, we’ll be here to talk and to listen when you need it. Take your time and please try and take care of yourself

Fucking hell, man. I’m so sorry. When you’re up for talking, we’re here. Genuinely hoping things turn out as well as they can.

Rich, I’m sorry to hear that. It must be devastating to hear that from someone you’ve been in such a long relationship with. I feel for you. Take some time, but as others have said, you’re a valued member here and when you feel like coming back, we’ll be here.

I promised myself that I wouldn’t post again tonight. But I need to.

I was brought to a hospital/clinic. The night was hell. I’ll spare you the details.

I got there about 10PM. I was finally in a room around 1AM. I got to call my wife around midnight. What did I say to try to heal the wounds?

How could you betray me?

I t seems that when I went off on my fucking rant, she dialed 911. So the operator didn’t hear her. Just me. The asshole.

I do not blame her for that. Not now. The blame is pretty much 99% me and 1% her. More on that later.

See, the thing is I Am The Asshole. Mostly.

I took too long to get my shit right. Now I am scrabbling and scrambling to fix thing. Too soon.

One of the things we talked about in a group session is Magical Thinking. No matter how bad things are, I can fix it. Or better, it can be fixed.

To those that commented, I am not going to do something stupid. I want to something smart. I want to help myself, not for her, but for me.

Just want her with me.

Damn, terrible way to make such a discovery. Focus on yourself, it’s the only way to get whole and go on.

I’m so very, very sorry to hear that you’re going through this, Rich. And I want you to know that many of us, including me, are here with a non-judgmental, supportive mindset and a readiness to be there for you as best as we can. Whenever you’re ready. Just let us know what you need, in thread, or in private message if that’s easier for you.

Very sorry to hear that. It must be terrible having the world pulled from under your feet like that, regardless of why. Take care of yourself for yourself as you said. Remember that things will look up eventually.