Bratty kids want XBoxes

I was in a FedEx center the other night, with a bunch of people delivering last minute packages. (I was there to RMA a broken hard drive.) This woman with a kid says to the clerk at th counter: “Here’s the next box.” Suddenly the kid get’s faux-frantic. “MOM! DID YOU SAY YOU WERE GETTING ME AN XBOX??!!!” No, she calmly replied while continuing to do her business with a large line behind her, she said “next box.” “MOM! I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE GETTING ME AN XBOX! THAT’S WHAT YOU SAID, RIGHT?!!” On and on, the kid insisting she said she was getting him an XBox.

So I pulled out a switchblade and slit his throat.

I’m sure Dave Long salutes you! How dare that kid want an Xbox over the (obviously superior but you don’t have to say it) Nintendo Gamecube. “Slit all their Xbox-loving throats!” Dave says!

He didn’t kill him over his choice of platform, rather for being a loud brat. Totally justified.

He wanted XBox Live, I gave him XBox Dead.

Sorry, no refunds. Store credit only.

So, just how good did it feel? I know I always love the kiddies during this time of year, especially since I work with them during the day at Christmas Camp!

Well that’s pretty much the fucking creepiest post ever. Merry Christmas.