Broken Forum vanished

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When I said nobody was interested in policing the boards, I mean obviously I meant nobody but you, wumpus.

No. That’s not at all what I’m saying. Women can be crude and sexual. I’ve known women that would make me blush with their language.

I’m saying that a declaration of intent to masturbate to express excitement or ownership is inherently masculine. You may find a woman that thinks it’s cute or funny when you say it, but most women (especially strangers) will perceive it as another in a long lifetime of gendered humor that carries a lot of baggage - especially if they don’t recognize that it comes from a nerdy TV show.

You and I know that when someone here says “I’m gonna be in my bunk” they’re quoting Firefly. It’s funny to us because we know the joke and it further increases our community bonds because, man, Firefly, amirite? Woo! Plus, we’re all mostly nerds so hell yeah that Paradox game looks sick! I too am popping wood over the thought of playing that game!

But imagine being a woman wading into that virtual locker room. It’s gross and not a little exclusionary. Why put up with that, when there’s another community just a few clicks away that won’t put you in that position?

Man this whole time my memory was of Kaylee saying “I’ll be in my bunk”. Guess its time to watch firefly again.

Pretty sure Kaylee was always going, “She canna take nae more Captain!!”

Can we have a woman or women’s perspective on “I’ll be in my bunk” as a joke? It just seems like it is a bunch oh guys arguing again, with women completely left out, even when the subject matter is on women.

I’m really happy we’re having this conversation. No sarcasm intended.

That would be easier if more than three women posted on Qt3 at all these days :P

I WONDER IF THERE ARE REASONS FOR THAT FIGURE

I’m sure a few dudes will go through gender transition if we wait long enough Armando.

Here’s my approach/rule: don’t post online what you wouldn’t be willing to say in person. The QT3 forums have always been analogized to the virtual living room of a friend. I would have no problem with saying the “bunk” line with my RL friends (male and female) in the context of a new game or movie (though I admittedly don’t recall actually doing it IRL or here). I certainly wouldn’t have a problem if one of my RL friends said it, again male or female.

If the idea is to say things in the most sterile, least offensive way possible and that equates to “better” way of communicating, I find that detrimental to the natural course of good, friendly conversation. Sexual innuendo is not, per se, horrible. There’s definitely a spectrum there (e.g., my aforementioned stroke my rod innuendo versus the bunk one), but I don’t think excising all sexual innuendo from friendly conversation, even in groups of friends of mixed sexes, is a good thing.

It’s precisely that kind of insensitive commentary that earns us our tragic reputation, @wumpus.

A few women will experience gender transition surgery to align their displayed physical gender with their identified mental gender, jesus

:)

If a woman came into this forum and saw the bunk comment made with respect to a new game, she would frankly have to have seen Firefly to even be offended because that innuendo isn’t self-evident and requires context. If she’s seen Firefly, she’s obviously more than welcome. Now, if it was “stroke my rod” as I said earlier, yeah there’s very little actual “innuendo” in that innuendo. It’s not being said to be funny or to share a common joke, it’s solely on the side of being crass, and uniquely in a masculine way.

I think you’re underestimating the prevelance of “I’ll be in my _______” (bunk, shed, bed, shower, bedroom, bath, me time, garage, etc) as an euphemism for masturbation especially when “excitement” is being expressed.

OK, so imagining that we are all literally standing in Tom’s living room, all however many hundreds of us that post here on whatever regular basis, someone makes a comment about something you find awesome, and you pipe up with “I’ll be in my bunk!” Regardless of how many of these people are actually total strangers to you?

Because if your answer is sure, why not? Then fair enough. Again, you’ve got to make that call for yourself. For what it’s worth I probably wouldn’t say it, but that’s more because Firefly annoys the hell out of me over any associated ickiness. But, again, that’s my call, and I’m good with it.

Approaching about 700 logged-in users per day, on average, at the moment.

Okay, let’s take something that’s more self-evident: “I’d hit that” which I think has been mentioned above.

I have friends (male and female) that you use that to refer to things (e.g., not people). Things like cars, kitchen equipment, furniture, etc. Is it creepy if they do it in connection with some random person that just walked by? Sure. But in reference to a new car? No. I’m totally fine with that. Is it a sexual innuendo? Sure. But it’s not a gender-specific one and, again, I don’t think sexual innuendos are, per se, masculine sentiments.

Maybe I’m totally wrong about how my female friends perceive it. That’s always possible.

“I’d hit that” is also male and aggressive. It’s right there. Hit.

Yeah, women say it - now. As a whole they do not say it with the kind of frequency and tacit approval of their peers as when a guy says it in a group of dudes. @ArmandoPenblade wrote it out a lot better than I can, but the traditional masculine sexual innuendo/humor is aggressive and implies violence because we have thousands of years of waving dicks around and sticking them into things as a way of flexing our power on the world.

As an aside, I want to make very clear that I’m not accusing anyone of “rape culture” or being a bad person. Dick humor is what it is.

Let me re-phrase: EVERYBODY likes getting their asses kissed.

The hypersimplified version to the point i risk being being both inaccurate and making everyone mad and so why am i even trying, is that, basically in the 80s and 90s, men learned it was sexist to treat women different than men, and now, men are being told it’s sexist to treat women the same as men.

I think you have an interesting insight there. That resonates.

I blame McDonald’s.

Well, sort of:

For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships … For most men, talk is primarily a means to preserve independence and negotiate and maintain status in a hierarchical social order.

It’s funny because on a recent playground visit I watched my (then 8 year old) son interact with another boy and it was literally

“I can do this!”
“Well, I can do this!”
“So what, I can do this!”