That might be the part where we disagree and that is OK.
I still enjoy the arcade quality of COD and Battlefield but I feel like a super-soldier running around at high speeds, taking an ungodly amount of damage from enemy fire, and carrying a rather impressive arsenal of weapons. When I am selecting perks and killstreaks in multiplayer the historical immersion is already broken. That's why female or nonwhite character models don't really bother me in this context. I am already an inhuman god on the battlefield. If players are already customizing killstreaks, perks, weapon loadouts, camo patterns, weapon attachments, and so on, why not extend that line of reasoning a little farther and let them customize player appearance as well. The campaign is where players will find more attempts at authenticity and immersion.
ARMA presents a much more realistic and authentic portrayal of war. You walk for 20 minutes under high tension and are killed by a single bullet fired from a marksman you never saw 300 meters away.