Castlevania: The Movie

“But they already made that and called it Van Helsing,” you say? Well, Van Helsing wasn’t directed by master storyteller Paul WS Anderson, now was it? No, it was not.

I don’t have instant hate for the guy the way some people do, and I kinda liked Resident Evil, so go figure.

The first RE wasn’t bad, no, but the debacle that was AvP (minus the cool Queen chase at the end) was enough to push him over the edge for me. You have to really work at sucking to screw up a concept as surefire as Aliens vs. Predator.

Will the movie feature a non-linear castle and soul collecting?

No, but if you watch the end correctly you get to see the movie again, but upside down and backwards.

What’s the point of making a video game movie when nobody’s getting any tax breaks?