Charlie's Angels: Full SuX0r

Just saw this. I found it to be totally incoherent, self-indulgent and basically just a big mess. If you ever wondered what a two-hour trailer might look like, this is the movie for you. Definitely the low point of a so-far-so-dull summer for me; I spent pretty much the entire second half of the movie making a grocery list and wondering what to have for dinner tonight.

The final irony came during the closing credits as Cameron, Drew and Lucy are shown in various out-takes cracking each other up, while the audience sat there stone-faced.

Incorrect!

Yeah, the audience I was with was laughing at Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, too. Not in a “we’re laughing with you” kind of way, either, but in a “your m4d Chinese wirework skillz are fucking ridiculous looking” way.

All that, plus the Hulk sucked beyond all human comprehension, so I’m writing Ang Lee off permanently as a self-indulgent jackass.

Charlie’s Angels 2 was a completely stupid movie. Very rarely did it rise to the heights of “stupid but fun”. Any casting director who wastes John Cleese so criminally should be shot.

The ass jokes almost got a laugh, but not quite.

They didn’t need John Cleese in that role, they needed John Ritter.

Ooh, I’m sorry Gary, that’s the wrong answer. The correct answer is “Charlie’s Angel’s: Full Throttle is the best summer movie of the summer” (I can’t, in good conscience, lump 28 Days Later in with summer movies).

Seriously, though, I loved it. I was grinning the entire time, at the giddy goofy enthusiasm of it all. And unlike other summer fare like The Hulk, T3, and Pirates of the Caribbean, it was superbly paced. I loved the cast, the sense of humor, and the over-the-top action sequences. It was like the first Charlie’s Angels, but more more more.

Does this mean I have to turn my beret over to Gary ‘Grumpy’ Whitta?

 -Tom

The beret stays on!

I liked it a lot too. I’m not sure why you think it sucks - it is obviously rapid-fire sniping a bullseye on each and every entertainment target it is aiming at. The cast is charming, the movie is funny, exciting and stupid, and no one is trying to pretend it is anything otherwise. I don’t want every movie to be like it, or even most, but it is fun to wander into a cinema and for a couple hours every other summer watch exactly the sort of dream movie you fantasized about when you were 12.

I should probably let the community know that when Gary Whitta was Editor-in-Chief of one them glossy Hollywood monthlies, he was practically lynched by his own staff when he suggested that Cannonbal Run was a good film. He somehow survived that scrape with death, but I don’t think his taste in movies made it out of there alive.

The same thing happened when I saw Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. As the combatants chased each other right up the walls, the audience was laughing loudly. But is it any more ridiculous than guys with laser-beam eyes and storm-generating super models?

I gotta vote with Mr Chick on this one. I disliked the first Charlie’s Angels - this might have something to do with my hatred for the most unfunny man in America - Tom Green. I found this one to be funnier and goofy and full of totally improbable action but they carry it off with a smile and a wink and a little T & A and for 2 hours I was entertained.

“It couldn’t happen in our world, so it’s funny!”
That’s some pretty bad sense of humour on behalf of the audience.

As the combatants chased each other right up the walls, the audience was laughing loudly. But is it any more ridiculous than guys with laser-beam eyes and storm-generating super models?

This is only one of the many problems with CTHD, but what’s objectionable here is not that people were flying per se, but that they were flying using ultra-low quality ghetto special effects. I’ve seen backyard wrestling that was more convincing.

Thierry Nguyen’s response was “that’s just how Chinese movies do it”, which isn’t much of an excuse. If those Chinese movies jumped off a building, Thierry, would you jump after them? Eh? EH?

Granted, my threshold might have been heightened considerably after watching the wire-work of Xena for several seasons.

For the record, Cannonball Run is not a good film. But it is a great movie. And dumb though it was, at least it had a “story” you could follow, unlike CA:FT, which appeared to have been written by nobody and edited by an Avid machine set on “Random Shuffle.”

This movie also earns my contempt for the most criminal waste of Bernie Mac’s talents ever. It was pretty obvious that they hired him because they knew people thought he was funny, but not why.

It was reported recently by the Director’s Guild of America that the “A Film By…” credit is starting to fall out of popular use, and is now more likely to be used only by directors who see themselves as real auteurs, and in more artistic films. This is perhaps why the fading-in of the words “A Film By McG” gave me the movie’s biggest laugh. So hard to tell, however, if that was intentional in a flick as comedically tone-deaf as this one.

“I think we should take this back to the lab and anal-yze it.”
“Don’t be ass-inine!”

zzzzzz…

Gary, calling Cannonball Run a great movie is a gutsy move. Insane, of course, but really gutsy.

Gary Whitta thinks Cannonball Run is a great film, hates John Wayne and all his movies, and was bored by a movie which feature Cameron Diaz shaking her ass. I leave it to the community to draw their own conclusions.

Where did you get the part about me hating John Wayne and all his movies? I don’t; I just think he’s over-rated generally.

As for Diaz’s ass (or is that Helen Zass? OH MY ACHING RIBS!), I don’t have a problem with a little titillation in a movie; I’d just prefer it if there actually was a movie.

Outside the realms of CG, how exactly would you have them do it? Also, the style in CTHD is supposed to be very humanistic and spiritual. The effects fit that movie very well. CG has no place in that movie.

goddamn, havent you people seen any REAL kung fu flicks from hong kong?

Everything makes perfect sense after you’ve gone through your 10th hour of honk kong bootlegs your roommate picked up in NY.