Cleve Blakemore - from people who know

From: People Who Know Cleve Blakemore ([email protected])
Subject: Cleve Blakemore - from people who know
Date: 1997/09/30

Greetings All,

We are a group of programmers who worked with Cleve recently. I guess we

must be the mediocre types who are “mentally ill”. As you may have guessed
we never post to this news group, and we would not post to this news group
unless we had an overwhelming reason to do so.

The reason, as it turns out, is Cleve Blakemore. One of the guys here

reads this news group and today he printed out a collection of Cleve’s
“wisdom”. We were especially amused by his self description ( 17’ arm, 28’
leg, and 49’ chest indeed ). Needless to say none of us were particularily
impressed with Cleve’s physical prowess … but enough macho bullshit, only
kids who have not grown up talk about their ability to beat up people. Its
hardly a trait to be proud of. ( Maybe Cleve will disagree. )

In any case to get down to it, the only superhuman thing about Cleve is

his ego. We found our mediocre abilities to be more than match for his
coding wizardry. That is not to say Cleve is a bad guy. In fact, we found he
was ok when he worked here, perhaps a bit slow to catch on to things we were
doing but overall he was hardly the “legend in his own mind” type. Funny how
newsgroups change people.

Cleve buddy, get some sleep. Relax. If your game is as good as you say

we will all buy it and play and think … thanks Cleve you’ve done a good
job. As it is, all these posts about your fabulous abilities, superhuman
intellect and physical prowess make you sound like a wanker. I am sure many
people who read this newsgroup already know this.

To the rest of you, just ignore him. Bandwith is far too scarce as it is

without all his drivel.


The people who know Cleve

PS. We appologise to those who have no part in this “debate”. This will be
our only post on this matter.

These were some incredible gayboys who worked at Wright Technology, now defunct of course. They were paying $70.00 an hour and I hated the place so badly after two weeks I made a special request to my agent to ask them if I could get out of the contract early, I did not want to finish out the entire three months.

Whenever I tried to ask them technical questions about the source code, they usually told me to come back later because they were occupied cruising gay porno sites. These dudes were like caricatures of gays, so high strung and effem they practically twinkled when they walked. They were so ugly to me and so unpleasant to work with I told my agent I just could not go another month, I had to get out early.

EDIT : My agent told me after I gave notice that I had actually substantially outlasted the previous guy, who had been unable to work there for longer than one month. She said she was considering no longer even placing people at Wright because of the environment there. I think they folded back in 98, no shock really.

I note that Cleve does not deny their account of him, and really, wouldn’t gay men be the ones to watch another man closely? Why is it that every single person outside the Klan gets the same impression of Cleve?

In fact let’s have a little testament to the almighty power of Cleve’s intelligence:

Also: I’m a big fat ass of impossible proportions. Looks like you’ll have to fall back to calling me gay too Cleve. And you know what they say about men that think everyone around them is gay…

Also: I’m a big fat ass of impossible proportions. Looks like you’ll have to fall back to calling me gay too Cleve. And you know what they say about men that think everyone around them is gay…[/quote]

Well, I don’t think I was projecting onto the lads at Wright Technology. The lead programmer wore lipstick and hair gel, did his eyes with mascara and had his ears and tongue pierced. He usually worse fishnet singlets and skintight silk pants. If you asked him if he knew what time it was, he usually pursed his lips like he had swallowed a lemon and shot back “What time do you think it is?!? Tsk! It’s time for you to get a watch, pal, that’s what time it is!! Away from me, big boy!” (waved delicate slender bony hand in a flicking motion at me)

At that time I was only about 50% as strong as I am now, roughly four times as strong as an ordinary person. That means that I could have snatched him by his throat and physically thrown him upwards into the ceiling through the plasterboard where he would stick like a dart, then snap his head off by grabbing his knees and twisting him with a sharp motion.

Instead, I’d say, “Ooooooohkay, John, I’ll just go back to my cubicle. Sorry for asking you about the time.”

If I saw either the senior programmer at Wright or his second-in-command on the street today, I would actually strike them hard enough to cause their skeleton to exit their body temporarily leaving their bag of skin hovering in midair for a moment before it fell to the ground in a heap. “Hey, tell me what time it is now!” I’d say to the quivering bag of skin with two eyes like limpid eggs in yolk on the sidewalk in the last remaining seconds of consciousness before ‘it’ died. That’s the Frank Capra ending, the upbeat scenario mind you.


So he has been doing the self promotional internet tour and book signing for Grimoire since 1997? Maybe it will be a masterpiece. Lord knows MoO3 could have used another 5 years in the hopper.

Check out these measurements in 1997:

( 17’ arm, 28’
leg, and 49’ chest indeed )

I thought I was friggin’ huge back then because I was nearly twice as big as an ordinary person! Compare with today:

(19 1/4 arm flexed (varies to 18 3/4 some days), 33 inch leg (that still doesn’t explain how I hack squat 1400 lbs for 9 reps) and 52 inch chest!)

Something important to point out is that I have some kind of incredible protective camouflage - I am so well proportioned it is never quite obvious how gigantic I am until you see me in shorts and a shirt, then it suddenly hits you I am like one of those funhouse corridors with trick perspective. It is only when you put an ordinary man directly beside me that it strikes you that everything, including my brain case, is much larger than that of an ordinary person’s. For example, people often get the sensation my head is a tiny tangerine sitting on this colossal body. If you put my head beside somebody elses, you can see the diameter of my skull is more like the size of a watermelon. I can’t explain it, it’s just a great mystery to me.

The only other bodybuilders I ever heard of who cast this kind of illusion were Tom Platz and Mike Mentzner. Arnold Schwarzenegger used to swear that Mike wasn’t that big a guy … in fact he was about twice the size of Arnold and about six times as strong. Tom Platz never seemed to have legs that big with pants on. When he took the pants off, you could suddenly see that Tom’s leg was around twice the size of most bodybuilders. Platz was also even stronger than I am in most leg exercises, of course he took a lot of roids.

I’m not a Cleve fan, nor a Cleve hater, but I must say I don’t think this type of thread is appropriate. Digging up comments not from this board by past associates amounts to hearsay as we have no way of determining their validity, nor would we need to.

Why don’t you just start an ‘I hate Cleve because he hurts my feelings’ thread so all you playground boys can get together, have a good cry, and pretend to kick virtual sand in his face. When you feel better, you can comeback and join the rest of the class. And make sure you brought gum for everyone!

You’re forgetting that:

a) Cleve is an untermensch.
b) It’s funny.

McCullough, this may be the one time that I change my opinion and agree with you.

Cleve, masturbating to your own reflection in the mirror, does technically make you gay.

bmulligan, on the one hand, I completely agree with you. Digging up other people’s comments from outside the board to directly attack people here is not appropriate. On the other hand, Cleve has been responsible for many far, far more inappropriate posts to this board.

How does the inappropriateness of this post in any way compare with that of the hate-filled comments that Cleve has posted about blacks? While Gary Whitta, Jeff Green, and others were suggesting that Cleve’s racist posts were inappropriate, I didn’t notice you supporting them (if you did and I didn’t notice, my apologies).

I would say until the character attack threads outnumber the Kleve* spam, we are all in the clear.

*I hereby dub our impostor Kleve as it is pretty clear it ain’t him. I mean, how many times has he boasted about his game. Zero that I can find. The troll must be given due respect for his sticktuitiveness, but it is neither insightful or inciteful any longer. Just very, very tiresome. I imagine, with the increased new topics started here in Kleve’s Korner, he/she/it is beginning the week with plans to go out with a bang. That may or may not include full nude pictures he and Falcon did together a few years back.

Hey, pretty soon you won’t need the hydraulics for the vault door!

Well, I don’t consider myself the judge of whether or not someone can express their own opinions. Or maybe I’ve just dealt with opinions of his type for so long I can tolerate them and confront them head on. Regardless, forums are a place for debate and exchange of ideas and arguments, not to taint someone’s reputation based on past, secondhand knowledge.

Digging into someones past is a completely different story. There is no defense for it because it’s truth or falsehood cannot be validated. Simply putting it in writing where it really serves no purpose other than to defame is akin to a political strategy: Where a statement is offered up as fact, then repeated ad infinitum, until it is perceived as truth, regardless of what the facts are in the matter.

Yeah it’s amusing, I must admit, but inappropriate nevertheless.

Oddly, his game website has been down for the past couple of days. At least for me. Pretty much ever since it was pulled up here to mock him. Maybe it is just flooded with everyone downloading his great game? Seems fishy.

So far, it is looking like Derek Smart is superior to Cleve in many, many ways. How many games has Derek gotten out? How many has Cleve?


Well, that sounds like the typical “debate” around here of late, or like debate on the 'net in general.


Yes, but this is very similar to how racism works. Statements about African Americans (or others) are offered up as fact and then repeated ad infinitum. If a population has little or no contact with the target of the racist comments, segments of the population begin to believe that the statements are indeed facts.

I don’t want repeat any of Cleve or hermy’s racist comments, but they pretty much amounted to broad statements about Africans and African Americans repeated ad nauseam. When confronted by other members of Qt3, they simply stated that we lacked sufficient experience with African Americans and that their comments in fact were “truth”.

Cleve and hermy’s strategy was very similar to the one you have described in your post.

Yes, but they weren’t personal. He didn’t, for example, research your family history and find out your mother was half black and then say you were a monkey boy because of it. Or dig up dirt on somone and display it for the entire forum to read. No, he immasculated most by their own comments of the day, not what has been said about them 5 years ago.