I can’t take credit for this, I just found it, since this forum is now ‘Cleve’s Crazy Corner’ I thought this would be the best place to put it:
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A FAQ ON CLEVE BLAKEMORE's THREADS ON USENET Distribution : comp.sys.ibm.pc.games.adventure Date Created : Nov 25 1998 Version : 1.0 Author : Syed Noman Ahmad
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PurposeTo let the adventure newsgroup readers know about the type of
threads which they should expect if they see the name Cleve
involved in the discussion.Distribution Schedule
This FAQ is for one time distribution only.
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Q : Man, I just got flamed by Cleve. What should I do ?
A : Read this FAQ. That’s what you should do.Q : Ok let’s start with… who is this guy?
A : He’s writing “Grimoire” - the greatest RPG of all time.Q : When 'll it be out ?
A : Early 1997.Q : So it’s out ?
A : No.Q : Hmmm… has he created other games before ?
A : Yes, hundreds of them on different platforms. He’s the
world’s greatest programmer.Q : Really… he is ?
A : Yes and Grimoire 'd be out in early 97.Q : Are you trying to flame him ?
A : Of course not. This is for educational purposes only.Q : Why did he flame me ?
A : Because he 's better than you.Q : Is not !
A : Rewrite it as a question. This is a FAQ.Q : Why’d you say he 's better than me ?
A : Because he says so himself. He is highly intelligent and
compared to him most other people are monkeys.Q : Wow. I am impressed. So he talks about other intelligent
things too ?
A : Yes, he talks about communism, free enterprise, magazine
editors who are commies, women with moustaches who do well
because of the manly trait, Ayn Rand, Neitcshe…Q : You didn’t write that last name correctly. Do you know
that ?
A : Yes, but do you know the spelling ?Q : No.
A : Then shut up.Q : Ok, ok… but what you wrote above didn’t make much sense.
Does it ?
A : Right and neither does Cleve.Q : Heh… those Australians can never make sense. I noticed
an “.au” in his email address. He is an Australian. Right ?
A : Actually, no.
Millions of Australians : NO WAY !!
Lord Marcus : Hey, I like Cleve and I am an Australian
Couple of million more Australians : Beer !!Q : So where is he from ?
A : US of A.Q : What’s his opinions about US ?
A : He thinks that because of Bill of Rights, Americans are
the smartest people in the whole world. Non-americans are
mindless robots for most part.Q : Nah, he didn’t say that. Did he ?
A : Not exactly. He holds slightly lower opinion than what I
wrote there.Q : So what is bill of rights, anyway ?
A : I am sorry, I forgot that this FAQ is not just for
American readership.Q : Don’t worry I am an American.
A : Well, you don’t have to know what it is. You just
have to live there and be counted as one of the
smartest people in the whole world.Q : So why isn’t he in US then ?
A : This one is a mystery. He says, he once threw a
person outside a second floor window in LA. Cleve is very
muscular. You can check Dejanews for this story (good
read :) )Q : Did the person get seriously hurt ?
A : No. He survived. Hey it’s no big deal. In LA, every third
person gets thrown off from some place. It’s a strange city.Q : So he has some bad memories from his days in US ?
A : Yes, but none more worse than what happened at SirTech.Q : What happened there ?
A : He left.Q : He was at SirTech ?
A : Yes, but he felt out of place among other monkeys. He did
work a little bit on Wizardry 7.Q : So he’s not working on Wizardry 8 ?
A : No. But this doesn’t stop him for extending his warm
opinions about the game, the design team and lead designer
and how incompetent they are (and in particular she - lead
designer - is)Q : I get it, she doesn’t have moustaches… right ?
A : Bingo !Q : Ok, he doesn’t like SirTech … Who else ?
A : Steve Bauman.Q : Who is he ?
A : The commie editor of CGS+. Cleve doesn’t like Bethesda
or Interplay either.Q : I thought Lord Marcus is the #1 Nuke-Bethesda guy ?
A : Yes.Q : What do you mean ?
A : What do YOU mean ?Q : ok forget it… btw you don’t like Cleve. Do you ?
A : Actually I do enjoy reading his posts. I may not agree
with him all the time but he creates good threads and is a
hell of a writer (I really mean it)
Lord Marcus: kickass cleve !Q : What’s your advice for me ?
A : Don’t take the flames personally. You’ll enjoy the show.Q : Any quotes from Cleve ?
A : Here’s a direct quote, (he’s talking about Grimoire)
“I’d say my s**t is standing tall and taking names. If you
kicked my ass into the sky I would come down as sunshine,
that’s how good I am at what I do”
And I’d like to add that after doing a bit of research I now have nothing but the deepest pity for Cleve, he’s a sad little man who’s ‘friends’ lie to him, and who lives in his sad little world predicting doom for everyone and everything, all the while gathering his intelligence from any source where ‘cut n paste’ can apply.
I was planning to try to get rid of him, I feel his presence here (and the presence of those he brings with him) serves only to debase and degrade us all, but after a little looking I just pity him too much. I actually feel bad for posting this, but since the 40% of the forum is dead to me I thought I’d just leave a message for any future readers that stumble into here: Cleve does NOT represent us all, most of us are decent, hardworking people with little or no mental problems.
I think the best thing to do would be to seal this board off and leave it exclusively for Cleve since getting rid of him does not appear to be an option for whatever reason.
Cleve: You’re a sick man, get help. I’m sorry you’re the way you are, if I could IU would help you, but I can’t. Please feel free to post whatever makes you feel better about being the object of almost universal pity and scorn. I for one pity you too much to really care. Try to find peace Cleve, try to realize that you need help.
Eric Verner