CoD: Warzone

Should just be called Canaday. At first I thought it was like the fortieth anniversary of Strange Brew or something.

You guys goin’ out fer a rip?

Two things regarding the update.

One: I seem to be having issues mounting on some places now. Not sure that’s an intentional change.

Two: Roze’s paint is now green, because blackface was clearly nbd. 🙄

Sadly, the so-called nerfs to the Grau/MP5 loadout look more and more like wet farts. Yeah, there’s a slight damage range reduction and slightly more recoil, but in practice you don’t really notice it.

Man, the shaders thing is just the worst.

Man, they put snipers in gulag? What a dumb idea. I didn’t get anything else the three times I was put in there.

No idea why their game has to do that repeatedly. I’ve never played any other game which does that.

They even did something more stupid, sometimes you only have your fists and a throwing knife. So the Gulag is absolute shit right now.

Is it the shaders thing that make the menu screens so incredible laggy? It’s definitely pretty annoying.

One thing that is nice is that you can just queue straight up after a match and skip the whole loading screen

Actually I think the fists thing is pretty cool (although I didn’t get to try it). For my part, ideally gulag would always be fighting knives.

And there would be more spectators.

Yeah, we tried that and of course it bugged out and left one of us at a perpetual loading screen while dropping the others in a game.

Oh bummer. On xbox it worked well, we definitely got an extra match in on the night in the time saved.

Quick restart is ok. It’s basically doing the queueing behind the Verdansk screen instead of loading the walkers first. It saves time for sure.

Snipers are silly, but it’s a videogame! Have some fun! Sheesh! If you don’t like the gun you get just switch to fists and beat the hell out of the other person.

I try, but there are snipers.

This game isn’t designed for melee fights at all, so if I had to choose, I’d rather take the snipers.

The one fight I had I just got a lucky flash bang and beat him down, which felt stupid. And when I say stupid I mean boring even though this is a VIDEO GAME.

The thing is, the Gulag is perfect if you get a semi-automatic weapon without optics, preferable not too lethal (and drop the lethal and tactic as well). So it’s just you and your skills with your wits against the other player. Not sure why they keep fucking this up.

The sniper gulag fights I saw (which was my three and a couple others my buddies got into that I was able to observe) boiled down to just getting close enough to gut shot them with a side of melee anyway, so it amounted to the same thing. The gulag is too small and close to use the giant scopes they stick on the snipers.

You need to quick scope and get a lucky hit. Or, as Dave said, beat him down while he’s trying to quick scope you.

If you haven’t played Juggernaut Trios, you should…

The first 40 seconds of this video is why the Warzone local death mic thing is the best. Then jump to 2:30 for the dumbest “I can’t believe that worked” moment.

Some of my favorite moments in this game have involved me running down guys who were on foot with my vehicle and hearing them laugh hysterically immediately after.

I shot someone out of their parachute with the KAR and they did a legit Wilhelm Scream that lasted the whole length of the open mic bit. I had to dip into a building so I could not die while I was laughing.

Also in Plunder our team got to a helipad to find two other teams blasting the crap out of each other in a wild gunfight and one guy who had self-rezzed at the start turned out to be the only survivor. He ran around hoovering up everyone’s cash and then… we obliterated him with RPGs.

His open mic moment was “I hope your Mother’s proud!”