Conservative shell organizations at college

So I’m reading this article in the PI about liqour sales through the mail.

A college organization apparently got CostCo to deliver them some wine without checking their ids.

So here’s my thought process:

  1. Ok, that’s not good.
  2. But then again, underage college students willing to wait a week for booze to show up in the mail are a pretty ridiculous thing to worry about.
  3. And who the hell are these college students worried about this?
  4. And CostCo says they require id and adult signature, so what’s going on.
  5. Wait a goddamn minute - the name of the college student organization that did it smells like conservative astroturf. “Collegians for a constructive tomorrow?”
  6. Hey, here’s their webpage. Jesus, they’re conservative nutbags. Some headlines from their page:

“What the world needs now is DDT”
“Mad Cow is a bovine disease - link to humans is unproven”
“Greens cause death of millions in the world”

  1. Oh christ, and they’re using it to attack Christine Gregory, one of the Democratic primary candidates for Governor here in Washington.

Armed with full bottles and delivery receipts, the students are demanding that state Attorney General Christine Gregoire investigate several online companies selling and delivering alcohol to minors.

God damn it, this shit enrages me.

Oooh, guess what!

They’re the college offshoot of CFACT, a libertarianish think tank funded by Richard Mellon Scaife.

Guess what?

They are college students.


Shell organization? WTF are you implying? Have you ever been to a college campus? The liberal “shell organizations” outnumber the conservative ones 10 to 1. You can hardly walk from one class to another without being accosted by some ancient hippy wearing a hemp jacket handing out pamphlets and hitting on coeds. OMG, students have political clubs!!! SH1T BON3RZZZZ!!!

I’m implying they have like 5 members and are funded entirely by a Washington-based think tank. This isn’t true for any liberal organizations on campus other than the College Democrats.

Jason, when I briefly went to CSU, I started the “CSU Students for A Free Canada”, I wanted something to go with the daring, CSU Students Against Nuclear War. I got listed on fliers, talked to some stoned hippies on how Canada wasn’t really free. They are all pretty much morons. Anyone can start any club they want, who cares. They are all ineffectual and ultimately a play to get laid. Which I can attest to as being successful.


Crap. I never thought of clubs! I did poetry readings. I would run my fingers through my hair and talk about my painful writer’s block.

If only you could find some kind of relief…

And then you’d refer them to your penis thread.


Strange, I thought the problem would be obvious:

  1. These organizations are basically political attack dogs.
  2. Yet the media treats them as “independent concerned citizens.”

In the article they don’t mention anything about their political leanings, funding sources, - you’d think they were the Kiwanis or something. They’re used as a stealth delivery vehicle for GOP attacks.

You mean like grass roots organizing? Scandalous!

Brad, you might want to look up the definition of “grass roots”. I don’t think these guys qualify.


Woooooooooooooooooo! SCORE!

— JMJ, former well-taken-care-of literary magazine editor

BTW, there is no belief so stupid or impractical that some college student won’t sincerely campaign for it. “The Society for the Abolition of Money.”

And I, in turn, used to beat up those whiney, always-dressed-in-black, self-centered losers who’d say, always with a lisp, “iths so hard to be a poeth”. That got the girls too.

Does anyone listen to college activists?

I was once lagging behind some march when a couple of cops came up to “harass us”, they asked what we were marching about which we responded, “hey ho, we don’t know” and i explained we were there for the girls, but you can’t talk to them while they were actually marching and chanting, which is why we were pushing the group “no business as usual” to stage more love-ins, less marches.

My friend tony, during a “die-in” once leaped up and screamed - “I am wearing radiation proof long johns - i am safe and I will save you!” and proceeded to try and drag people to safety. That was pretty much the end of it for us, after that they just thought we were idiots, which was probably for the best. We had discovered most hippie commie chicks don’t shave their legs, underarms, or elsewhere and that can get nasty.


Seeing how these guys managed to get their Gregoire attack in the press positioned as a non-partisan good government group, yes.