Constantine: The Movie

This gonna be any good?

Keanu playing a wise-cracking Brit with multiple facial expressions?
Impossible.

I didn’t think he was even a Brit anymore in the new iteration. Newcastle? Who cares!?

This looks like the comic book equivalent of the Doom movie. Except it doesn’t even have the same name as the comic.

Criminal, I tell you.

Keanu as a surfer? ok

Keanu as a brit? yeah right, I sat through Dracula.

Constantine is director Francis Lawrence’s first movie. His IMDB bio has only this: “Francis Lawrence is a popular music video director, having directed videos for artists such as Britney Spears, Will Smith, Sarah McLachlan, and Aerosmith.”

The previous credits from the screenwriters include last year’s Mindhunters, the Steven Seagall vehicle Glimmerman, and the Hulk Hogan vehicle Suburban Commando.

You do the math.

The trailer, however, looks pretty cool.

-Tom

There should be an Academy Award for best trailer. Not specifically for this movie, but inspired by your comment.

There should! Lots of terrible movies have cool trailers. Does anyone else remember the trailer for John Carpenter’s Vampires? I do…

Blade III has a great trailer!

Chick, you’re bananas. It’s a film based on a supernatural horror comic with a blond, British anti-hero starring Keanu Reeves as said protagonist, as directed by a n00b. This film sucks so hard it’s been scientifically observed to have altered the jet stream (but oh man, do I ever hope it won’t. But it will. A lot).

What Bill said. I think we’re the resident Hellblazer fans.

I thought it was supposed to be based on Dangerous Habits? What the hell was that fancy shit?

Count me in as one of the resident Hellblazer fans.

This movie looks like complete crap- in fact, it looks so bad and unfaithful to the source material that I’m willing to be one of those annoying internet people that will boo-hoo it sight-unseen, and I hate those people.

I stopped reading diepunyhumans.com the day I saw Warren ‘Sell-out’ Ellis try to say that this movie will be something else besides absolute complete shit. To think I used to have respect for that man. Fuck.

Chick, you’re bananas.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, when did I ever say it wouldn’t suck? I think you’re confusing me with some other poster from an alternate universe where people would want to see the collaboration between the director of a Brittney Spears videos and the writer of a Hulk Hogan vehicle.

-Tom

Keanu was a natural choice for Mr. Lawrence, then.
(Note: Sarah McLachlan may be the odd one in the mix)

I think they do have awards for trailers, just not Oscars. As for the trailer, it looks pretty godo and the cast seems solid for the most part. I’ll still only believe it’s good after significant word of mouth.

Maybe it will pull an I, Robot and be entertaining if you can divorce it from the title in your mind.

Hmm, different strokes and all that. Never saw I, Robot. Never read the book so I didn’t care if it wasn’t faithful, saw the I Robot trailer, thought it was shit and thus never saw it. Constantine at least seems interesting.

Well, not everyone liked I, Robot, that’s true. The ones who did were the ones who liked it in spite of its title though, that’s all I meant.

'Strewth Chick, I’m sorry. BUT NOT EVEN THE TRAILER MAY ALLOWED TO BE SPOKEN OF IN POSITIVE TERMS or something.

I’m banning myself from talking about this film when it comes out and I see it out of pure self-loathing, because my screed will make the Tolkeinistas simply pale in comparison (seeing as how I spent the last two weeks re-reading all 200+ isssues again).

Did you also re-read his first appearance during the American Gothic storyline in Swamp Thing?