kristina
1712
I just wanna say, hang the fuck in there. Lockdowns were really hard for me, living alone in a small apartment and my fam lives in another country (still haven’t seen them for 2 years and counting). All i did was go to work (alone, where all 70 except me and 2 colleagues who worked from home were sent on temporary leave) and go home, play video games and cook pasta. For almost 1,5 years, when things started opening up again.
I know I’ve been lucky to have a job and have stayed healthy, but damn those were some dark times. I felt apathic, and ended up really hating my job, doing the same crap every day.
So, a month ago I thought FUCK IT, I’m gonna follow my long lost dream. So I applied to university, sent in some last minute application tasks and… got in. Bachelor in Game Design. You guys!!! In 3 years i’ll be fricking making video games for a living! I just started last week and I’ve never felt so … right for anything as I do at school. I wanna scream it to every stranger I meet. To think I always thought of my self as too lazy or undisciplined or unfocused to study, while all the time it was just that I hadn’t found MY thing.
God damn. It really never is too late to change your life.
(Side note: due to all my pasta cooking and starting to share that in social medias, I also got an offer to open a restaurant next year with a really cool restaurant owner, another dream opportunitt. If all goes well, I’ll do both :O)
Cormac
1713
Wow! Sounds like exciting times for you! Congrats :)
The pandemic sure changed all our lives, but it sounds like in the end it was a powerful catalyst for you. Good luck on your endeavours!
I am sad we have seen ZERO PHOTOS of said pasta meals.
Yes please, I would love to see photo’s of those meals as well! Including the (non-commercial) recipes if possible, so my pasta-adoring daughter can try making them. This would probably be the place: Tell us what you have cooked lately (that's interesting)
draxen
1716
Wonderful! Congratulations on doing something you wanted to do, and best of luck.
The school where I teach has a very substantial Game Studio, maybe a quarter of our entire student body are in game development programs. I teach mostly in other areas, but I split my time with the Studio, teaching usually seniors in Capstone and first-years in a game history course. It is so cool to see them mature into creative, dynamic professionals over the course of a few (intense, hard-working) years.
Thank you so much everyone =) It’s definitely an amazing thing to see the meaning of that black hole already.
I have actually posted there a few times, but not much though. I’ve been posting on an instagram account called @veien_til_rom (which means “the road to Rome” in Norwegian), but I’ll be sure to share in that thread next time =) It’s nothing fancy really, just having fun with pasta doughs and enjoying a homecooked meal.
Thank you! I’m swallowing everything I can at this point so I’ll definitely check it out.
That’s so cool! I can imagine it being rewarding to follow that progress =) We’re taking a game history course this semester too, looking forward to that one. Honestly, looking forward to all the courses on our plan. We’re having Game design, game studies, scripting and history (and career) this year, so the span is pretty wide =)
It’s interesting to already notice the changes when I start a new game, or open a current one and start noticing stuff like who the developer is or what engine they used. We just started trying out some code building in C# and will be using Unity and Unreal a lot. Can’t wait to learn more!
Today we started one of our exams for this semester, we’re making a board game. We came with a pretty cool idea in our group, a sort of settler-inspired space game =)
Went back and found some of those, and they look absolutely amazing! “Nothing fancy” truly doesn’t do your pasta’s justice, and I can see why a restaurant might be interested in them (and in you). Well done!
Bit too complicated for my 13-year-old daughter though. But that’s fine, she’ll get there someday!
Petey
1720
We have only 4 people in my office. The AP girl, who went to a Mariner’s Game on Saturday, woke up Tuesday sick as a dog…said she wanted to die…went to the clinic…thought it was a cold…nope…Covid. So, my wife found out she went out and got sick and wants to come to my office once she is back and scream at her for being careless seeing as how I have bad health issues and she knows it yet she goes out all the time and does not really watch what she does.
So, getting a covid test tomorrow and hoping for the best.
Fun times.
Between recent political happenings around the country and the response to Covid, I have never this felt this bad about humanity in general before. I am absolutely disgusted by my fellow man. Lately when I’ve been going out to the grocery store or whatever and watching maskless people stream by without a care in the world I get angry at them. I was ranting in my head at them and I realized I was sounding a lot Agent Smith in the Matrix ranting about humans being a disease to Morpheus. It made me laugh, at least.
It’s not healthy, and it’s taking its toll on me. I have been thinking about how to get over it for my own health, but I can’t stop being angry. My friend (an athiest) suggested stoicism when I mentioned, in passing, the popularly described Buddhist ideal of accepting that you can’t change anything. It would be nice to have some way to accept and move past the fact that the world is a terrible place and my place in it is irrelevant on a macro or medium scale. These are things I understand at a rational level but still affect me deeply on an emotional one.
I’ve been having trouble sleeping and some stress eating, but generally I handle this stress very well. So you don’t need to worry about me. But if you have some insight on how to move on, pass it along. Accepting that humanity is just plain garbage through and through isn’t ideal, but I’ll take what I can get.
Cormac
1722
Sadly, I’m with you on that. Humanity/ society is horrible and I’m just glad I didn’t bring any children into this doomed world. So on a whole I’ve also learned to accept it.
Every once in a while I do see some positive actions by individuals so that is sorta the silver lining in our existence. But unfortunately those do not counteract the dark cloud as a whole.
Good luck knuckling on, perhaps it helps to know you are not alone?
I’m feeling pretty much the same way. Not that I didn’t think that before, but it hits harder now.
Gladguy
1724
I have had a similar crisis of being, or whatever you want to call it. How old are you, @arrendek?
Humans as a species have accomplished amazing things. We have conquered our environment, bending it to our will. We have learned how to coax abundant crops from fertile land. We have paved over rough surfaces to make it easier to transport goods and other humans. We have built flying machines and machines that can allow us to survive under the sea. We have constructed towers to live above the clouds.
We have unraveled most of the mysteries of the human body. We can cut into our brains with precision and replace failing organs. We have invented ubiquitous devices which have pretty much eliminated the need for any question to go unanswered; the sum of human knowledge in the palm of our hands, from the most regal king to the homeless guy on the corner.
And yet… and yet… there is still much suffering in the world, and much abhorrent behaviour. I guess there is always going to be a percentage of the population which is “less than” in some way. It’s just that with 8 billion of us running around on this rock, the absolute number of degenerates is higher.
Call it Buddism, call it Stoicism, call it whatever you like. I found some solace in Mark Manson’s book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. It helped me settle into my own take on Nihilism. Worry about only that which you can control (which is very little). You don’t matter – nothing does – so just be a decent person so you can sleep at night. Don’t worry about the assholes, because they don’t matter either; they’re just not evolved enough to realize that.
Just turned 40 a couple weeks ago, of course. Just in time. :D
I’ll check out the book.
eliandi
1726
I’m with y’all. For me, its like a malaise. Just a general pessimistic feeling ever since the COVID cases went back up and my family, despite vaccination, have gone back to social distancing. For a while we got back to eating out and concerts and such, but that has all stopped.
Gladguy
1727
Ahhh… yes… Just turned 40? You’re right on schedule for your mid-life crisis!
I was trying to make sense of why it hits harder now, and I think most of it is the realization that mankind has always been like this, and that it’s never gonna change. For every step forward we take one (or several) back. Even our brightest were flawed; most of the good we created we ruined ourselves after some time.
Sure, we’ll always have those working to make this world better, believing that mankind can be more, that it can be better. I like to think I’m one of those. But I guess it finally dawned on me that, while we can be better, it doesn’t mean we will. If anything, we have more reasons to think that we won’t.
I won’t fully ascribe to nihilism because there is an idealistic side of me that is as much a part of me as the pragmatical one. And my mind thrives on order, so it’s hard for me to simply accept chaos. I guess that’s what makes everything so difficult - the fact that I still believe mankind can be better, even though I know it often chooses not to be.
But I guess it helps to know I’m not alone in feeling like that. It might be a pointless hope, but it’s still some hope. In times like these, I’ll take it.
cornchip
1730
It (sometimes) helps me to think of the people around me as living lives just as challenging, thoughtful and complex as mine, or more, and whatever small way they’re currently frustrating me is just what they need to do to get through their day and deal with bigger issues.
It’s really hard to maintain this when they’re self-medicating by driving 10 under in the left lane, admittedly.
It’s a good book. I get his email every week, but I think it is every month now.
I also like reading articles by Thomas Bevan.
sonder
n . the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own — populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness — an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.
