Creepy French safe sex ads

[Rimbo]

@ElGuapo

I want you read this carefully. I want you to imagine what a giant scorpion’s exoskeleton feels like. Tap on it and it sounds hollow. It has little bumps and ridges and spikey hairs coming off of it. Joints and flex areas in the armor. Now imagine your bare skin on that. As you are crawling up on it it sinks into the mattress under your weigh like a hollow car door. And then I want you to imagine PUTTING YOUR PENIS IN IT. Until it stabs you in the back with it’s giant burning poison stinger.

After reading this, I have a huge erection. And my thoughts wander to my tongue merging with those chitinous mandibles, as my soft flesh is skewered by the sharp point of its stinger. Passion erupts throughout my body as its poison numbs me. I am helpless for it to ravage, as its claws begin pulling the skin from my biceps, and mandibles grind into my flesh.

I think I need a cold shower now…

[SlyFrog]

The scorpion should really be doing the woman, what with the stinger and all.

[shift6]

I notice that both the non-humans are black. I guess wholesome white people can only get AIDS from those “dirty animals”; those people.

(this post is tongue in cheek. a little bit.)

[Matt_Perkins]

@BobJustBob

There was a custom SOF2 map with a hidden tubgirl trap room. You’re just crawling along in an air vent and suddenly you fall through the floor and the walls are tubgirl. There’s no way out and you have to kill yourself, but you don’t fear death any longer.

That’s both hilarious and really scary.