Criticize my Best Man Speech

Drop anything about you telling them what marriage is or isn’t. No one wants to hear that after the ceremony. That’s the priest’s job (if the ceremony’s arranged that way) and they’ve taken care of it. So shut up about that, and just talk about how awesome your friend is, how awesome it is they’re happily coupled up, how the world’s that much brighter for everyone because of it, and that’s that. Pepper with laughter hooks to taste.

You could also just rip off this speech.

That’s a good point I hadn’t thought of. It’s like when an atheist tries to be an apologist for religion and comes up with some random well-meaning explanation.

The traditional approach is so much easier!

Just keep in mind that giving the bride a quick backrub is usually not a good option.

Also stop talking about what the speech is or isn’t. Nobody at a wedding wants a lesson on what a speech is.

Still far too stiff and serious.

Find a way to sincerely celebrate the groom and/or bride. It doesn’t matter if it’s anecdotes or something else, but find some way to say, “I love this guy, he’s awesome, and I’m happy for him right now”. You don’t actually have to talk about the bride or the courtship if you don’t want to. A lot of times the best man will focus on the groom and the maid of honor will focus on the bride and that can work just fine. If you go that way you might want to at least coordinate with the maid of honor however.

Humor is good and so is a bit of self-deprecation. This is supposed to be a very personal speech. The speech you’ve written is still very much about you because it’s you telling people what you think a wedding speech, love, etc. should be. You can do a bit of that, but if you’re going to do so you need to find ways to lighten it up, add some humility, and at the end you need to bring it back to the groom and/or bride.

Just use this classic

I did one Best Man speech. I got into debt so I could travel to Australia to deliver it. So I made the speech about how my friend was the kind of friend you’d go into debt to attend his marriage (I used anecdotes for this part) and why his wife to be was worth travelling across the World to marry.
This went over well.

To add on to the other good advice here, I would just try to keep in mind that the traditional role of a Best Man isn’t intended to inspire the audience, but rather focus the audience on how inspiring the married couple are. Revelations regarding the depth of committment and other weighty material accomplishes the former, observations on how wonderful as individuals they are and how even more terrific they are as a couple accomplish the latter. They’re probably expecting you to follow tradition, and considering you have the role and are speaking at their request …

I gave the speech an hour ago. Since then I’ve had a half dozen people tell me it was the best they’d heard. Thank you all for helping me.

But what did you say? And perhaps just as importantly, what were you wearing?

This wasn’t you, I hope.

Not at all!

It’s after one and I’m tired - I’m sitting here with a cigar and some whisky. Maybe in a day or two I’ll write up my speech. Honestly though I really had a ton of people tonight tell me it was the best they’ve seen. I think that’s mostly because you guys checked my preachy urges and stuck me on the straight and narrow. Thanks again, so much!

It was more like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWC8MZDh1G8#t=121s

OK from memory, as best I can:

I cribbed the gags from here and there, especially the hand thing. But this went over like you wouldn’t believe. I honestly counted nine people who sought me out to say it was the best best-man speech they’d ever heard, that included the band leader who’s played a bunch of shows (he’s kind of a big deal out around these parts).

I really want to thank you guys again for helping me out. You were the ones who checked my initial preachy instincts and helped me to focus the speech on what it needed to be about. For your part in making my brother’s wedding that little bit better I sincerely thank you. <3

I mean not to toot my own horn, but some quotes:

From my father’s best friend: “If I ever get married again, I want you as my best man.”

From the leader (is that the term) of the band that played the wedding: “I haven’t seen a best man as natural in front of a microphone as you are, ever.”

Honestly while this was all about my brother - it’s really hard not to let my own ego into things. At the end of the day I seriously rocked the house! Regarding the second comment, I blame the sense of timing I developed from watching wrestling promos (not joking).

great speech

Thanks! Honestly I am on cloud fucking nine right now. The whole evening was absolutely perfect, and I’m just so happy to have been able to be a part of it for my brother and his new wife!

You did fail at one traditional best man task: seduce hottest bridesmaid. Come on, you’re supposed to be the best man. You are sleeping on the job!

Yeah and it was setup so perfectly with the “my first toast is to the bridesmaids” line.

Aw, what a sweet speech, jeffd! It was sincere and touching! That one girl from the wedding is silly for not calling you, cause I’m sure your speech helped to win her over.