Crush your enemies and hear the lactation of

…their women. Or is it lamentation? Anyway Conan is back.

Apparently there is a Conan MMO game coming out from Funcom. Details are sketchy. I wonder if everybody plays the old barbarian or if it’s a fully fleshed out world of hyborea? Anybody know more? Here is the worthplaying page:

“Real Combat” engine; a revolutionary new multi-point melee system which allows the players to swing their weapons where they direct it, in real-time! This easy to learn and fun melee system lets the players truly feel they are on the battlefield, and goes head-on against the formulaic nature of online RPG combat.

This sounds pretty cool. The utter crap of combat in all MMORPGs is the main reason I don’t play any of them.

To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women.

The film has Conan levelling up on a treadmill, not a good sign for a mmog :P

Although I’m ashamed to admit it, I’ve read almost every single Conan book…the good (R.E. Howard), the bad (some of the DeCamp etc.) and the ugly (some of the TOR). It would be really cool to romp across all the places mentioned in the books. Sounds like this might have a single player game and then some type of battle ground instancing but I’m not really sure.

Worthplaying only linked the official site in standard text, so I’ll step in with some newfangled hyperlinking in case people want to know things in a bit more detail.

Ha! I was just thinking the same thing. He becomes a badass swordsman by literally walking in circles for several years, which seems like a perfect match with MMORPGs.

On the other hand, naming a game after a specific character you don’t get to play seems kind of odd.

A mix of a deep, story-driven single-player experience and a massive and brutal multiplayer end-game

Emerge as a hero from a story-driven single-player experience and embark into even greater adventures in the multiplayer part of the game

If the end game is a proper subscription based mmog then this is a fairly radical concept, it’s also somewhat risky too. If its like sacred/dungeon siege and you play MP with your SP char, then perhaps not.

The utter crap of combat in all MMOs is out of necessity. Can you imagine multiple foes on the screen at one time? How about a pitched battle between you and 200 of your friends? Yea, swing a sword with some accuracy in that.

Not to mention that the best of game engine code, with the lowest settings, and the best hardware on the client still lags all to hell when you’re trying to push that many polys. Real Time combat in an MMO situation is not only infeasible, it’s inadvisable.

Ask any serious PvP player out there whether or not their “skill” is improved by a high-end gaming rig and a kick-butt pipe to the internet.

I don’t remember PlanetSide didn’t having any serious trouble with real-time combat.

A swift horse, the open steppe, a falcon at your breast, and the wind in your hair.

What about something like Planetside? That’s got a combination of experience based systems for determining access to weapons and abilities and is also twitch based for determining things like targeting.

In case you were wondering, it sounds like “squirt, squirt, squirt.”

Mike … are you lactating?

No, I’m crushing the breasts of the enemies of my women. Er, wait, the women of my enemies. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Squirt squirt.

I get to be Conan, or I’m not playing.

Not me…I want to be Mako!

I get to be Conan, or I’m not playing.

Jeeze, next thing you know, people are going to want to be a jedi in a Star Wars MMO…

The Conan MMO takes place in the later years of Conan’s life, after he’s, like, the king. You can, however, be one of his subjects.


I think I just peed myself in anticipation. Seriously, does anyone really give a shit about the Conan Universe?

Seriously, does anyone really give a shit about the Conan Universe?

I guess you missed some of the other posters in this thread. But, yeah, apparently some people do care. Funcom seems to think there’s going to be a re-emergence of the license. If the movie ever gets going, it could be quite a boon for them.

At any rate, I think they have enough of a unique angle with this MMO that I’m curious about it in a way that I’m not curious about other MMOs. Plus, they have a proven track record. I really liked Anarchy Online, although I haven’t played since they’ve started running Motley Crue ads.


I’m not THAT familiar with it, but it does strike me as at least a bit different in terms of fantasy settings. At least it’s not another generic, D&D-based, fantasy realm (c.f., the MMORPGS set in the Forgotten Realms, Midkemia, etc.)