Sometimes, when I catch someone “sharking” (as we call it where I’m from) I’ll pretend I’m walking to a car that’s close, go up to it and stand there, fumble with my keys and drop them a couple times, then give them a wave and a wink and walk off…but hey, I can be kind of a dick.
Well maybe you are, but at least you’re not alone. I used to do something similar to that.
Careful there, Buster Keaton, I might just fumble with the gas and pin your head between my bumper and some stranger’s car door. If you think that bleeding out of a massive headwound in the Target parking lot, clutching your new copy of Diner Dash and a vibrating razor purchase is a good way to go, that’s your prerogative.
Actually, his point wasn’t about the number of such spots, but the people using them, who don’t SEEM to be handicapped.
You can get a sticker for being overweight too, just as an aside. Maybe you can get them for spider veins? I don’t know. I do know that it’s frustrating to see people use the spaces when it looks like they are driving someone else’s car (like a parent’s car) that happens to have a sticker on it.
As for shooting people on your lawn…that’s a good idea.
Great, next you’re going to tell me that slowing down for tailgaters may also be unwise.
Where I come from, “sharking” has nothing to do with parking, and everything to do with attractive young women.
I prefer my version.
Regarding the handicapped:
Last week on vacation, I saw a Harley Road King parked in a handicapped space at some tourist trap in Northern California. At first I just assumed he was parked illegally because, well, Monday through Friday he might be Palo Alto’s Number One Choice in Pain-Free Cosmetic Dentistry, but as soon as the weekend rolls around he’s a Fuck The World One-Percenter, consider yourself lucky he doesn’t torch this shithole after he’s done browsing for some commemorative spoons.
But, no, he had handicapped plates.
Unfortunately, I never saw the guy, which is a shame because I’m intensely curious about this rare disability that allows someone to drive an 800 pound motorcycle cross-country but prevents them from walking the length of a parking lot.
House drives a motorcycle but needs a cane to walk and probably qualifies for a handicapped permit.
This really becoming amazing. Honestly, is there anything that House can’t teach us?
How to shave?
Back when I was younger and working security, I hassled a guy on a Harley for parking in the handicap spots. He produced a placard and made me feel like a jackass… so I shot him.
No, see, he taught us that as well. The answer is, “Every 3 days. With a 1/4” cut electric razor."
Did he actually say that in the show? If so that’s crazy. I found it surfing once by accident and he was performing surgery with no gown, no mask, and leaning over the table with his hands in some kids stomach.
My response was, “Who let the homeless guy in the operating room?”
Someone else, “No, he’s a doctor.”
“Damn Hippies,” I replied.
I just found it ridiculous that he didn’t even have a mask on (some one could have put it on for him to save time even), so I’ve never watched the show again.
Maybe the guy’s biker bitch is handicapped. You can get the plates if you’re the primary transportation for a passenger (like your spouse) who is handicapped.
Yes, but that kid lived (after House permanently burnt out his kidneys, liver, lungs, and gave him a heart transplant).
OP point; you know, we have had the lawn nazi threads here before. I think people who are incredibly obsessed about their lawns are a bit stupid, but too each his own. The people I’m work with, I’m sure, think it is painfully stupid that I spend so much time moving little toy soldiers around a video screen.
That being said, I do get the frustration. We have had a recent spate of waking up in the morning to just find random junk in our lawn. Coke cans, chip bags, shit like that. It is that low grade kind of crap that is both annoying (because you have to go clean it up) and impossible to deal with (not serious enough that I’m going to call the police out, but frequent and annoying enough to deal with).
Television people don’t like masks because they obscure facial expressions. That’s why the atmosphere is always breathable in Doctor Who.
House is a good show. It’s gone through a rough patch or two in the second and third seasons, and some of the music is really godawful, and once in a while they resort to something of obvious dramatic utility but dubious medical foundation, but it’s a good show anyway. I fear your righteous mask indignation is misplaced.
The only lawn thing that bugs me is shit, particularly when I step in it. My neighbors with pets are irresponsible assholes. I have considered a sign that says “If your pet shits in my yard, I will shit in your mouth.”
The cops won’t do anything about that anyway. Now if you catch them that’s a different matter. But it’s not like they’ll fingerprint litter, or do a DNA test or something. I wish they would…that shit’s annoying. I’m starting to understand why older people become misanthropic. They’ve experienced people more than the rest of us.
While it’s interesting that you take the Derek Smart oral-bodily waste approach, it’s dull and plebeian. Let me recommend some alternatives:
[ul][li]If your pet shits in my yard, I will shit on your house.
[/li][li]If your pet shits in my yard, the automated turrets will fire.
[/li][li]If your pet shits in my yard, he’ll never escape the minefield.
[/li][*]If your pet shits in my yard, you will burn in Yog-Sothoth’s protoplasmic embrace for 10,000 years.[/ul]
Evil! EVIL!
My neighbors are dull and plebeian. I feel it is a good match.