Delta crosses the line

Now this story is one of the funniest I’ve read in while. And, no, this one’s not an urban legend.

A woman who says she was pulled off an airplane and asked to take a sex toy out of her luggage after it started vibrating is suing Delta Airlines, saying she was publicly humiliated.

I don’t doubt this is an actual lawsuit (the story has an AP credit), but that doesn’t mean it’s not an urban legend.

In Fight Club, when the airlines loses Edward Norton’s luggage, a clerk cites the vibrating sex toy story as the reason his luggage was waylaid. I believe he points out that vibrating is more suspcious than ticking and that there’s a certain protocol at the airlines for how to refer to the guilty party’s sex toy.

 -Tom

Bite me, Tom. :)

(And I mean that in the nicest way possible.)

What – is it a full moon? First it’s Erik calling me a snob or something, now Murph tells Chick to bite him, next Sinner’s going to come along and call us all fat and there will be global thermonuclear war, they’ll make blue and green ketchup, and we’ll have dogs and cats living together…I can’t take it anymore.

Awww…Tom’s still my hero. He just keep raining on my parade.

No more funny stories for you, Mr. Chick!

WAIT.

This is NOT an urban legend. I saw this on the 6pm news from Cleveland. It’s incredibly true. And, yes, they did call it “a vibrating marital aid that apparently self-activated inside her luggage.”

So, my mom looks over at me to see what I’m going to say, and all I could do was quote the line in fight club where the security guy explains how it’s “a vibrator, THE vibrator, but never YOUR vibrator.”

The next day, the local radio station (WRQK) had a contest where they were giving away tickets to OZZFest. To win, all you had to do was bring YOUR vibrator down to the Toys’r’us parking lot (yeah, go figure) and show it to 'em. So, this girl shows up almost immediately, because she had it with her in the car. They made her turn it on and hold it on the microphone… BRRRZZZRRRRZZZRRRZZ to prove it was a real live robocock.

I’ve got my own tickets to OZZFest (not the same way, I had to fix a computer to get mine) so I hope to meet the radio-vibrator lady there. However, if we get together, I’ll ask her not to pack it in her luggage on our trip to Bermuda.

I told Tom it wasn’t an urban legend. :P

Sorry to veer OT, but…Mmmmm Ozzfest. I had 5th row tix 2 years ago. That is probably the best and most fun concert I have ever attended. And I only had a single beer the entire day.

The traveling vibrator story…maybe not an urban legend, but not a new story either. Check this from 1999:

(http://catless.ncl.ac.uk/Risks/20.34.html)

[/quote]Sex aid give holiday flight a shaky start
“Frank Markus” <[email protected]>
Sun, 25 Apr 1999 06:26:07 -0400
A pilot made an emergency landing when a suspect device was detected on a
jet packed with British holiday makers – but the threat turned out to be a
sex-aid vibrator.

The A-300 Monarch Airbus was two hours into a flight from Goa when the crew
became suspicious about a piece of hand luggage. The pilot, Captain Dave
Johnson, radioed a bomb alert and was ordered to divert to Bombay.

The plane, carrying British-based passengers and crew, was taken to an
isolated handling bay where 369 people were evacuated.
Bomb disposal experts boarded the plane and examined the suspect baggage and
identified the device as a battery-powered sex vibrator.
A Monarch Air spokeswoman applauded Capt Johnson’s actions. “We are looking
into the incident to find out how it got on board,” she said. The passengers
later continued to Gatwick.

I initially found this story in rec.travel.airlines on Usenet. I followed
the links in that message to the actual article (above, Tuesday April 20,
11:01 AM). The next message posted was from an airline ramp agent:

"Actually, this kind of thing happens way too often.
I used to work for a major airline as a ramp agent, and I’d put the
number at 2-3 times per year, per airline.
What happens is a bag (usually checked though) gets jostled, and
vibrator switches on, bag starts buzzing or humming, employees alert
security, and then the real fun begins.

“Our SOP used to be offload pax, have them claim baggage on ramp, then
swoop in on suspicious bag. have pax reveal source of buzz, worst
embarrassment of life ensues, in front of planeload of angry, delayed
strangers. It was ALWAYS the best part about working the ramp. And this
should serve as a cautionary note, pack the batteries separate if
traveling with a vibrator.”

I love this story. It has everything that is required for an urban legend
but it is true. The original story is still available at:
http://www.yahoo.co.uk/headlines/19990420/london/newsstory133839.html[/quote]

This story, of course, has details like the airline to bolster its credibility. This kind of stuff is important in sniffing out urban legends. And don’t trust your local media 100%. Today’s Wash Post had a column on stories “Too Good To Check” - like that frequently circulated e-mail of ridiculous lawsuits, none of which exist. And the press loved that “Bush waved at Stevie Wonder” story, though that (sadly) wasn’t true either.

I’m not saying this is an urban legend, but it does have that feel.

It’s an urban legend because it happens all the time.

There was a short story by Thom Jones where there’s this great scene of a woman wagging her dildo at airport security people in India. As it turns out, she was unknowingly smuggling her boyfriends drugs into the country via the dildo. I wish I could remember the title of the story. I think the collection was Pugilist at Rest.

This has nothing to do with anything, but anyway. We now return you to your regularly scheduled off topic thread.

Women killed going to their weddings by drowning in a lake and getting picked up by cars, having conversations with their drivers, then disappearing leaving a damp backseat happens all the time?

— Alan

Women killed going to their weddings by drowning in a lake and getting picked up by cars, having conversations with their drivers, then disappearing leaving a damp backseat happens all the time?

— Alan[/quote]

You too Alan? OMIGOD. I thought I was the only one!

EDIT: funky spelling

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/828847.stm

They have hot pink and blue squeezy butter too…saw it in the dairy aisle at Safeway and almost exclaimed “LOOK! They have GIRL butter and BOY butter!” Luckily, I distracted myself by trying to remember if there’s a difference between small curd cottage cheese and regular curd, besides that the curds are smaller.

Don’t need any boy butter on my toast, thank you.

First, allow me to let you guys in on a little secret. Nobody friggin’ cares why you edited a post. It’s a goddamn internet messageboard, not the international league of nations forum.

Second, I hereby reinstate the anti-Sparky backlash.

I like how this board does not note that a post has been edited. If I made a typo, I like to go back and fix it without arousing the suspicions of the tinfoil hat crowd.

First, allow me to let you guys in on a little secret. Nobody friggin’ cares why you edited a post.

Explaining an edit is protocol for message boards that automatically make a note when a post has been edited. This keeps someone from changing something he’s written (a la Bub) after people have already responded to it and then saying ‘Hey, I didn’t say that! Show me where I said that!’.

However, for some reason, the Qt3 board doesn’t note a ‘last edited’ entry with any consistency. I suspect there’s a setting hidden somewhere next to ‘change banner at top of page’.

 -Tom

The edit notice does not appear if:

The post is edited within a certain time from when it is first posted (I think 2 minutes)

or

The post is edited by an administrator. Not a moderator, but an administrator.

And the banner code is in the file overall_header.tpl in the phpBB2/templates/SubSilver folder.