Detailed analysis of swearing on Xbox Live

While playing 34 hours of Halo 2 over Xbox Live, Josh Smith has recorded all uses of swear words, put the data into Excel, and created several diagrams illustrating their relative frequency.

Yeah, so it’s not terribly interesting but I’m oddly fascinated by pointless statistics. And maybe the folks at GamerDad could use this data to advice parents on whether they should let their kids play online…

Deeply pointless but pretty interesting in a wierd way; I didn’t expect ‘fuck’ to come out on top to the degree that it did.

I’m surprised “Homosexual” came in so low. “Fucking fag” must’ve counted just for “Fuck”.

I’m just lucky I wasn’t playing that day, I wouldn’t want to cause another hot coffee flap. <–God, now even that sounds dirty.

Oh, I’m not surprised at all. It’s the modern version of “ummm”.

Props to those who knew, from the beginning, that the clean, shiny revolution of online connectivity would turn out to be a cesspit.

I play Battlefield 2 on public servers (Im not good enough for clan play yet, probably), and honestly the VOIP is mostly terrific when it is being used. What is different about Live and BF2 VOIP? Push to talk. The only reason why anyone would bother pushing the button is if they have something relevant to say. I get angry and curse or whatever when something cheap (IMO) happens but Im not gonna hold down B and announce it to everyone.

Hopefully Sony is thinking of this when they announce their Live-clone service.

I laughed out loud when I read this. You gotta put some kinda NSFW on this kind of post!

This is a great point, except for where it’s mostly wrong. You do have to press a button to broadcast in Halo 2. If you just speak into the mic, you’ll only be heard by players in your immediate vicinity. Frankly, hearing someone scream “FUCK!” and get cut off by their character’s death scream when I shoot them in the head is one of my favorite things in Halo 2.

Yes. I also lost when ‘bitch’ became a swear word. Most swear words are sexual or blasphemous in nature, but ‘bitch’ is merely a female dog. It’s not a nice word to call someone, sure, but neither are ‘cow’, ‘dog’ or ‘pig’.

I wonder if dog breeders’ message boards automatically censor the word…

It strikes me that I have never seen inventive insults in a game, ever. Not even someting like “felcher” or “cad.” It is always and only ever variations of the same old stuff.

Well, if you’re going to curse, at least know the proper form of constructing one. Usually, this can be simply accomplished with a bit of elegance if you take A) A stock curse word and B) an object or body part.

Shit Head
Fuck Stick
Ass Hat

Fuck is a special case, since it may be used as a verb or adjective.
Mother Fucker
Sheep Fucker
Fuck You
Fucking Fuck

Note that in the last example, it is an adjective and the noun-subject. This further implies that the subject indeed is a “fuck” in addition to being one of the “fucking” variety.

Additionally, you may find it helpful to substitute an adjective for the noun, or reverse the noun - curse order to achieve creative results:
Bull Shit
Cock Sucker
Stupid Ass

Following these simple rules of curse grammar should allow you display a level of profiency in almost any formal social situation. Good luck, and good cursing!

True story. One time I was pretty drunk, having sex with this girl I had been on a few dates with. Suddenly she asks me to start calling her names.

I assure you, calling a girl “horseface” is way, way worse than calling her slut or bitch or whore.

I assure you.

You have the beginnings of a hypothetical framework, but those are still not good enough. For example, they could be quite easily generated by a script.

The true art comes from playing multiplayer games in which the game allows but severely curtails the ability to communicate. For example, in play-by-email Civ II games using the hotseat hack, the best way to send messages to other players was through city names. City names could, IIRC, only be so many characters long.

Believe me, a couple of games on Huge exhausts all reasonable possibilities using standard cuss words. We fit some doozies in there.

I have, somewhere, a written-up list of the most foul, disgusting, and obscene Civ II city names. This was great stuff, an economy of obscenity that became subtle and profound. OK, maybe not subtle. Or profound. But if ever you get called “marmite cavern” or “dirtbox cavalier” in a game, Hi.

Kinda puts Pulp Fiction in perspective, don’t it?