Dominions 5 - Born to be Van Wilder

Games
#861

I had trepidation concerning this turn. I knew some of your hidden stuff was going to come out and attack, but i didn’t know where and I didn’t know what impact it would have. While there’s nothing staked in the fight for Ubar that i can’t replace, there’s losses that would be uncomfortable.

I totally didn’t expect the mass seductions/assassinations on the capital. Actually, the capital was the one place i was pretty sure was safe (lol). Looking at the report summary, i watched all the attacks before looking at their outcomes, and I was rather concerned. At least I knew from the duplication of the attack, that the first couple didn’t succeed, but it was still a nail-biter - those guys weren’t really geared for combat(more just default gear), yet alone geared to face those particular foes. So when they survived the first attempts, bereft of their gems, i feared the worst. The fire king was probably safe - just his innate fire resistance, coupled with solid combat stats probably meant he wasn’t going to get overwhelmed by a fire-based creature, but the air queen…her combat stats were nowhere near as good. Happy to see they both survived the onslaught.

To think how many of those guys you have, the gear they have, and how well you’ve done with just one fort is really amazing.

And pan, i thought you might reach out and reclaim that territory, so no worries, you just killed some blind wyverns (apparently they’re still strong enough to cap provinces, lol) - i don’t view this incident as any kind of breach of our agreement. Though i’m curious if that doesn’t void your deal with Ubar? I mean, he’s still technically alive…

#862

@Strato oh, and ermor, let’s have some open diplomacy about that super-massive force moving towards my border. In my mind, there’s only one reason it moves any closer to my border, so if you move it there, we both know what’s going on.

#863

Hunt for more vodka? Adventurous Governor going adventuring?

What I know of Governors in the US is the Arnold Schwarzenegger was a Governor, so I like to imagine him atop a horse right now casually bicep curling his weapons.

Yeah, I know how it is. After Ubar, I’m next, right? Bats are scary. Devils everywhere. Heck, someone even made the bell this turn. So why sit and wait for inevitability? Because we here in Ermor have read the book of pyrhic and nowhere in the book of pyrhic does it say “wait out the endgame and hope to win.”

Also, I give Caelum much, much better odds of winning compared to Xibalba and Ermor, who both seem to have reached the end game (drunkenly) stumbling around.

#864

Actually, no, you’re not in our plans at all. In fact, Ubar wasn’t either - but then he decided he was gonna go all ‘waiting for the apocalypse while rampaging through my former territories’ and I had to do something about it. Honestly, it’s a diversion of force I’d rather do without. But having to choose to either deal with Ubar 15 rounds before the apocalypse, or deal with Ubar after the apocalypse, and the i’d say there was no real choice at all.

But I am curious what your plan is. You don’t need to defeat me to win, you need my thrones, and my thrones are way over on the other side from your massive army. So you’re going to fight your way through my capital and all my forces, and take my thrones BEFORE the cataclysm? Uh…ok? Or maybe you and Xib are teaming up, but that just kinda leaves him the thrones and you still with a loss. I mean, you do you, but shouldn’t you be trying to win rather than, uh, trying to lose in another fashion?

#865

Clearly I need to set aside all my other games and play nothing but Dominions for the next ten years.

#866

Damn,haven’t even seen the turn yet, and I feel the need for popcorn!
Actually, I bet one of you is acting like Putin in front of the Ukraine border right now. How much vodka can I get without actually sending in the troops.
But I also wonder what quiet Pan is doing. He’s sitting on a few thrones as well.

And of course, anyone is welcome to the Shattered Throne. Just make sure you take it with expendable troops…

#867

That way lies madness, which is a path I took once.

But this is not a typical multi player Dom game. All the other 4 players know each other, and know that once ONE guy commits (usually @Evil_Steve , he gets bored easily), the others pile in.

#868

Treat Dominions like your side-game. That’s why after 10 years I keep learning new things. Did you know, for instance, that pressing Space Bar brings up the menu for a commander and what actions they can do? I ‘discovered’ that one by accident yesterday. All this time right clicking when I could have pressed space.

Well don’t I feel like the giant purple elephant in the room no one wants to talk about. If division of force means Ubar might have a chance to live, then I’m fine with that… No matter what I do, I’ll have to fight somewhere, somehow to get thrones, and take on at least two nations to do so.

Also, this map is really, really good. A couple of times I’ve been caught out with movement issues, but for the main part, really good map to play on.

#869

Is it preferable to wait until cataclysm and force a win that way?

#870

This game is getting weirder by the turn. I dont see any sign of doom stacks of Ermor near Caelum. It might be under the water? Or it might be in Ubarville.
But I would not put it past the birds to start some propaganda about a non existent army (we have always been at war with Oceania!) to stir the pot.

And to add to my confusion…Mushy Snugglepants? I must have read that wrong…

#871

I bought a beer for tonite’s turn-doing. I’ll take a picture! I’m so excited!!

#872

Gentlemen - this weekend I will be away for an anniversary, if the Covid and weather gods allow it. I will be without a laptop from Friday - Monday noonish.

May your hangovers be short, and your bar tab waived!

#873

About the beer? About finally killing off Ubar?

#874

So i have some pics and a kinda funny story. I’ve also pushed back the game 48 cause i kinda got drunk and…noticed you have another major army coming to help ubar or something. It’s like wow, you really care about Ubar all of the sudden.

Anyways, i didn’t get drunk because of that…i got drunk because i drank two bottles of stout. And these stout bottles are the size of wine bottles…and the alcohol content of wine bottles. sigh, and pint glasses are probably not the correct way to handle these beverages.

And as I sit here at 2.51 in the am contemplating whether I should chase these two with a little breakfast stout (and really, breakfast is practically here) … uh. hang on, what was I going to say?

…oh…

it kinda occurred to me that I probably shouldnt submit my turn…right…this…minute. Also, i probably won’t be up again before the turn hosted. So…48 hours!

And i certainly wont if i do one of those breakfast stout chasers…

But listen, and i tell you this in deep sincerity. Today i fixed our fridge. So this is apt. The celebration. Also, the stout was a great temperature, since it had warmed up from fridge temperature on account that the fridge had been broken. AND THEN I FIXED IT! The fridge, not the stout. The stout was fine, it just warmed up to probably like 50F, which is probably the right place for a heavy stout.

#875

Given the whole fridge situation, and the fixing of said situation, i opted for the celebratory breakfast stout (founders). I thought it would be colder, as apparently it’s 41F tonite, so I assumed my garage would be 41F, but i guess there’s that gradient thing going on, as the meat thermometer said my stout was only 59.5. I considered whether that was cool enough for drinking, and decided the english enjoy worse, so fuckit.

It’s tasty, though i daresay it could be colder.

#876

also, i may not be up tomorrow.

#877

What happened to those pics

#878

@pyrhic needs to come further east, where its in the negative values in Celsius (20 F for the colonials). But I am guessing Vancouver is fairly nice to have a hangover in.

Now, please remember all, I wont be available friday through monday, and thursday is the day of cycling, the day of Ubar reckoning, the day when turn 77 orders for 78 fun happens. Highly doubt I will be able to wrap my head around all my evil machinations in just a few hours before I leave.

#879

Well, here goes nothing!

#880

Well, i guess that’s what legowarrior would call gem-baiting. I have no idea why that simple attack, even if it was a substantial SC, triggered my guys to go and blow all their gems. Frustrating part of this game…

Wow, watching it again there’s like 3 units still capable of doing anything at the end and it was a simple lightning bolt from the air queen that probably tipped the balance. Well-fought indeed.