Don't order from

I … didn’t realize that underneath the lick of new paint groaned a mid-80s behemoth, pondering along zombie like into the 21st century.

Basically once you’ve made an order with it’s impossible to cancel it after 1 hour. You can bitch on twitter and/or reddit, maybe get noticed, and get some kind of special treatment.

There’s… absolutely no reason to ever order anything directly from HP ever again, as far as i can tell.

It could be because they would take a hit making the refund to you? I understand not all refunds are free for the seller.

Maybe, but all i was doing was ordering a printer. It’s been delayed a week (for obvious reasons) but I needed it asap. Even though they were listed out of stock online, i just rolled the dice and found one at the Big Box store anyway. But there’s no way to change, modify, or even address an order. There’s no “Call this number” link, just a terse “once an order has been placed it cannot be changed for any reason” blurb, which i hadn’t looked for because why would i check for such ridiculous shipping terms? I haven’t seen anything like this in, decades? I would understand for customized products, but not for some off-the-shelf thing.

Speculation on Reddit is that they have no warehouses in the hemisphere and that literally everything is getting either assembled or shipped from overseas, so once the order has been “wired” they’re incredibly hesitant and/or unwilling or unable to change the order. It’s plausibly an explanation, but it’s still just speculation. It could be HP just doesn’t want to lose an order once its been placed.

In my experience with these things, in a week, they’ll send you an email saying the item you ordered has been de-listed and your order has been canceled. :)

But seriously, do they even have a return policy listed on the site?
I guess I would either refuse the shipment, or get an RMA and send it back? Somehow? With no way to contact them, it does pose a problem.

HP is actually one of the worst tech companies. Full stop. They pioneered numerous terrible ways of screwing their customers and removing customer choice.

Great podcast here: Pluralistic: 18 Feb 2021 – Pluralistic: Daily links from Cory Doctorow

Great recent write-up here: Pluralistic: 06 Nov 2020 – Pluralistic: Daily links from Cory Doctorow

First they pioneered the use of DRM to detect and prevent third-party ink.

Then when ink makers started making their own chips, or harvesting chips out of discarded cartridges to use in new ones, HP got US customs to seize the product, calling it a patent infringement.

But the real ugliness started in March 2016, when HP pushed out a fake “security update” for inkjet printers. Owners who ran the update saw nothing, just a software version number that went up by one.

What they didn’t know was that they’ve been given an asymptomatic infection – a malicious update that only kicked in five months later, after everyone had had a good long time to update. That update’s real purpose was to detect and reject third party ink.

It went off right after school started, stranding cash-strapped parents with a year’s worth of ink for their kids’ school projects. People were outraged. HP issued a nonpology.

(One year later, they did it again)

Wow - thanks for sharing. I will now never use hp after reading that.

Yea, that’s terrible. The only reason i went HP instead of Brother is the HP wide format printer had an 11x17 scanner, where the Brother wide format printer’s scanner was just A4 / Letter. I’m tempted after reading that to take it all back and get the Brother anyway.

I was a big HP fan – owned two or three Deskjet printers in the 90s – until these shenanigans started. Stopped buying their printers.

Then I bought an HP convertible notebook a few years ago that seemed amazing from specs and found so many weird quirks. (Didn’t report time left on battery, horrid keyboard, loads of crapware.) Decided no more notebooks from them.

Then the HP Reverb G2 happened. Didn’t want to buy HP again, but there’s no equivalent competitor in the price class. Have it and love it, and because it’s worked for me I have no complaints. But I’ve been lucky, and the stories about orders (through HP’s partner) for some other people, and support with issues, haven’t been reassuring. I’ve been happy with it, but if Oculus had done a competitive Rift, or if there’d been a Vive in the same price/performance class, I’d have gone with one of those options in a second.

Belkin’s system is quite similar in that they offer no obvious way to cancel orders either online or from a phone, so I just called their tech support line and they cancelled it for me.

I mean HP doesn’t even have support chat, it just pushes you to their “Virtual Assistant”, which does nothing, or Chat with Rose, which is somehow the same thing but different? which just pushes you to the front sales page.

The only way to get someone on chat is tell them you are buying something.

Did a quick Google search about this.

Mail Order and Online Sales

If you buy a product through the mail or online, the seller generally must send you the item within 30 days. The seller also has to provide you with warranty information, if the product has a warranty.

The 30-Day Rule

Under the FTC’s “Mail, Internet, or Telephone Order Merchandise Rule,” a mail order company or online seller must deliver ordered goods within 30 days, or within the time period the company has promised. Though, if you apply to the seller for credit to pay for the merchandise in whole or in part, the seller generally gets 50 days, rather than 30 days, to ship the order. (This Rule also, as the name suggests, applies to telephone orders.) (16 C.F.R. § 435.2).

Missed deadlines. If the company can’t meet the deadline, it must tell you and give you the opportunity to cancel the order. Alternatively, you may consent to the delay. (16 C.F.R. § 435.2).

Getting a refund. If you paid by cash, check, money order, or by credit where a third party is the creditor, or by any other method except credit where the seller is the creditor, the seller must refund the correct amount within seven working days after you cancel the order. If you paid by credit and the seller is the creditor, the seller must credit your account or notify you that the account will not be charged within one billing cycle after you cancel the order. (16 C.F.R. § 435.1).

Goods you didn’t order. Except for free samples, federal law also prohibits companies from mailing you goods you didn’t order. The law gives you the right to retain, use, discard, or dispose of any goods sent to you by mail that you didn’t order, without having to pay for them. (39 U.S.C. § 3009.)

I briefly worked for HP, between the time they bought the company I worked at, and the time they divided into HP and HPE. I wasn’t thrilled about working for HP, but, I thought, well, I’ll make the best of it and maybe get a good employee discount on an HP desktop computer.

Checked the employee store website, found the desktop I wanted. The price didn’t seem like an awesome deal. So I found the exact same desktop on the public store website.

It was more expensive on the employee store.

Oh man i got to a point in their useless customer service phone service, and it actually had an American sounding woman’s voice say something like “If you’re getting a message “This ink cartridge is not valid”, please press 4 [or whatever].” After reading that link above, it makes me want to punt from any and all future interaction with HP.

Why did I order online, you fool!?

We’re like brothers-from-another-mother here :-) I worked for HPE after a succession of outsourcings and purchases of previous entities & had the same perplexing experience whenever I had to use the super lame corporate store. The deals were never deals. The store was super basic and often kind of broken too.