E3 Quote Whoring

I don’t know if anyone will find this as amusing as I do, but I’d like to see some links to some of the more obvious “ohmygodthisisawesome” bits of coverage from E3.

For starters, “Metal Gear Solid 4 Will Blow Your Mind”[ via the normally more reserved Gamespot:](http://www.gamespot.com/e3/e3story.html? sid=6149517&pid=926596)

Chills. This is obviously the Metal Gear to end all Metal Gears, in more ways than one. We want to know more, desperately, but for now that’s all we get.

Awesome. And this is divined from a trailer. We also find out characters are wearing new clothes. NEW CLOTHES!!1!

However, Konami’s own E3 conference is scarcely 24 hours away, and if they just happen to drop anymore juicy tidbits about this game that a few of you may be interested in, we will certainly deliver them to you in a timely fashion.

Phew, I was worried Gamespot would ignore it the rest of the show.

Our fanboy hearts are absolutely thudding in our chests.

Sigh. What is it about E3 that turns every site into IGN?

Will someone hit me if I suggest that the emperor is, in fact, naked?

I have no quotes but this is an excellent idea for a thread. I’ll bookmark it and refer back to it next May.

My bet’s that they pump something into the air and/or water at E3 which makes everyone susceptible to…suggestion.

<cue Wrath of Khan reference>

Not sure he’s naked, but he definitely does not look flattering in that Speedo…

Have you seen the trailer? He probably meant that literally. Snake is shown getting ready to blow his brains out… if that isn’t a metal gear to end metal gear, I don’t know what is.

Because its an opportunity for the gaming press to kiss up to the publishers in person ensuring another year of bri…errr gifts and lots of add revenue.

Nah. It’s the sporting event effect. I don’t jump up and down and cheer when I watch a game at home. But surround me with a few thousand other idiots and I’m high-fiving like a maroon.

And these people have to produce stories in this kind of atmosphere.

Think of it as embedded journalism. Only you are embedded at a candy factory.

Troy

Exclusive E3 photo from the front lines:

Donal Rumsfeld. Condi Rice. Dick Cheney. G.W…Bush? Those are the familiar faces unveiled during the Republican National Convention: Guns of the Patriots today. If you’ve been keeping up (and we know you have), you know that Bush will be one old fogy in the 2008 season debut.

Chills. This is obviously the political agenda to end all political agendas, in more ways than one. We want to know more, desperately, but for now that’s all we get. However, the administrations own press conference is scarcely 24 hours away, and if they just happen to drop anymore juicy tidbits about their platform statements that a few of you may be interested in, we will certainly deliver them to you in a timely fashion.

That really doesn’t sound all that different from what many anchors actually do, so I guess this is another episode of…

When Sarcasm Backfires

There’s a King of All Cosmos joke in there, somewhere.

After much debate, it was determined that the best quote at E3 was… someone else’s.

“$599.99!”

anyone have the list of “best of show” games that never were?

It’s not exactly quote whoring, but I’ll dump it here anyway: what the fuck is the deal with people getting so excited about Sony’s Lair “preview?” Did I miss something? Because based on the brutally short, almost certainly prerendered clip that I saw, I couldn’t even tell what it was supposed to be about.

So close, and yet so far!

It was about ninjas riding dragons.

And ripping off the arena scene in Rome where the big ugly guy gets the mace handle shoved down between his neck and collarbone.

My favorite quote so far is where Bill Gates said “we’re going to ship 10 million units before our competition ships 1.”

I’m paraphrasing a bit, because he didn’t say it that eloquently. He turned it into three or four sentences about “internal targets” and said “before our competition even hits the market” or something. But in my head, he said “eat that you $600 charging fuckers! Your over-ambitious production targets are 6 million by March 31 of 07, and we’ll have 10 million sold by November!”