Educate me on MMORPG marriages

Games
21

From the Damn-I-Can’t-Believe-What-A-Shit-I-Was Department:

A Swedish friend and I devised a joke to play April Fool’s 1992, to get one of the guys in his computer lab: to make said student fall in love with and marry a female persona I would create in an LPMUD that we all played. Then, after the wedding, when he thought he was finally going to get a chance to cybersex his new bride, I was going to reveal that I was a man, and hilarity would ensue and we would all laugh.

So, I created this female character in the MUD, and after about five days of courtship, I got him to marry me (any shorter, and I thought he’d get suspicious; any longer, and I thought he’d create real emotional attachments to the character).

The post-wedding conversation went something like this:

Fransesca says, “Close your eyes, I have a surprise for you…”
Mozart closes his eyes.
Fransesca 's wedding dress falls to the floor.
Fransesca says, “Okay, you can open your eyes now.”
Mozart opens his eyes.
Fransesca is standing before you, naked… with a penis hanging between her legs!
Fransesca shouts, “You fool! I am a MAAAAN!!!”
Fransesca logs off.

According to my friend, he started laughing in the lab… until I logged off. Then he just sat there in shocked silence for a minute, stood up, went into the parking lot, and sat in his car and cried for half an hour.

Five days was obviously too long.

22

Hmm. The only thing I know about MMORPG weddings is that they were fun to disrupt in UO. Pretended to be japanese and would run around spamming “KONICHIWA!!!” while the sad individuals present got pissed off and called for a game-master. Stock GM response was to hit a “please stop disrupting this event” macro and shortly thereafter teleport me to a random island in the middle of the ocean. Usually one with an ettin or two on it, and my character usually still wearing his starter tunic, possibly the uber death robe + orc helm combo.

Ahh, those were the days.