Elizabethtown

Wife wanted to see it, I owed her for going to Serenity. I know people throw hyperbole around to try and emphasize a point, but in this case we both left afterwards agreeing that we had actually seen one of the worst movies of our lives. Dunst is hot as always, and I have it on good authority that Bloom was looking alright as well, but beyond that, this film is just insultingly bad.

Manos hands of fate bad?

I hear this film makes men grow girly parts.

Actually I didn’t hear that as much as infer it from the trailers.

In some ways, yes, at least for my taste. I’ve only seen parts of Manos on MST3K, so it was actually enjoyable to some small degree. Elizabethtown is just about the most insincere, fake film I’v ever seen. Beyond that, with every poorly acted scene, you sit there wondering “what’s the stupidest, cheesiest, movie cliche-iest place they could take this moment to” and without fail, it goes there in a spectacularly awful fashion. But it’s not funny like other train wrecks, such as The Muskateer. Also, obviously it’s no secret that the soundtrack of a Crowe film is almost as prevalent as the film itself, but in this case it’s almost like Crowe picked a random iTunes playlist and just crapped a script around it.

This makes me sad, Crowe’s films are some of my favorites.

I think Crowe gets a free pass from the critics, because they’re such whores for any story dealing with journalism or movie-making. Almost Famous evidently fellated every movie critic while simultaneously squeezing their prostate, but it didn’t really knock my socks off.

H.

Saw this yesterday with the g/f, I was voting for Good Night and Good Luck but she was buying tickets while I was getting popcorn so she got to choose.

Crowe’s films are about great acting moments-- people looking at each other and communicating something. And heck, he spelled that out pretty explicitly in this one, but because he was putting such emphasis on “last looks” his actors started thinking too much about exactly how they were looking at each other and it all felt incredibly full of self indulgence. For all that Tom Cruise is a whackdoodle, he gets the job done in Jerry Maguire while Orlando Bloom seems at sea here. Most of the time he just doesn’t know what to do, and it shows.

I also found it funny that we got the usual anti-piracy warning before the film, yet Crowe’s third act depends on Dunst’s character pirating a fuckload of songs.

You’re all spineless pussies.

It’s because of underdeveloped inconsiderate fucks like you who are perfectly willing to sell their own manhood away, that other men will have to listen to “but Mark went with Carrie and she says he liked it” for the next 2 weeks.

But, uh, none of us liked it. So you can say, “Well all the geeks on Qt3 who were forced to go with their girlfriends/wives hated it. It has no geek cred aside from a tacit “fuck the man” endorsement of music pirating.”

But you WENT. That’s the point. So when I say “no, I’m not going to that shitfest chickflick”, I have to explain why it was OK for you to go but not me.

I think Orlando needs to do more action-oriented stuff. He doesn’t look all that good when he’s so slim.

But you WENT. That’s the point. So when I say “no, I’m not going to that shitfest chickflick”, I have to explain why it was OK for you to go but not me.[/quote]

Shitfest chickflick is a little harsh. Admittedly, Kirsten Dunst was horrible, Orlando Bloom looked lost, and the script could have used some love, but I still enjoyed it. However, I think the movie played perfectly to my own sense of unrest with my life. At 24 I don’t have a good sense of what the hell I want to do with my life, and the movie tapped into that with great success. Now, if you can’t relate to something like that, you’ll be forced to focus on the bad acting, writing, and editing.

On a side note, do you really get into battles with your significant other over what movies you’re going to see? Just do what everyone else does and put some points in the bank for seeing a movie you’re not really interested in. Then call 'em in to go see some shitfest manflick.