Emerald Nuts

Are these the worst TV commercials ever, or what?

There was more than one person watching those commercials that went “I’ve never heard of Emerald Nuts – now I probably won’t forget them.”

Mission Accomplished, I’d say.

On the other end of the spectrum, the new Quiznos commercials are perhaps the best TV ads ever seen.


Yeah, I was laughing pretty hard at those. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s going to make their sandwiches magically become less than 90% bread.

I’d say the Red Bull ads are about the worst I’ve seen in a while. The AT&T Carrot Top ads run a close second.

When the Wachovia ads (“What can a ten inch black spiked vibrating dildo teach us about investing? If you’re going to commit to it, your ass had better be ready.”) premiered during last year’s Super Bowl, they were pretty cool. They took a whatever, and found several half-clever “lessons” from it. Now, they just use one, which any goddamned idiot can do with anything. See my example!

Please tell me you are kidding.

I get spasms every time those annoying little whatchamacallits start singing.


Oh my god, I hope you’re being sarcastic. I’ve vowed never to touch Quiznos again because those retarded f’ing commercials are so annoying.

“whatchamacallits” == “spongmonkeys”


What ARE those fucking things? A friend and I spent 90 seconds the other night going WHAT THE FUCK when a Quizno’s commerical came on.