Ex-pats - what we miss and what we love about living abroad! Instead

Everything else
1

It seems that there are a fair number of us living in a country away from our birth, so I thought it would be nice to start a thread about it.

I moved to the US for my Sophomore/Junior year of college, having lived most of my life in the Netherlands. My father was American and my mother was Dutch. Most of my home and school life was in English and my friends were mostly American or Canadian, although I had a few local Dutch friends.

Despite this, I really felt like a fish out of water my first few years. I couldn’t drive, I didn’t understand frat parties and I always seemed a bit behind.

Also, the lack of universal health and guns scared the shit out of me.
Those fears still exist, but over a decade later, I feel better though a bit trapped. My wife is American, and I have two wonder girls. My Dutch (everyone wants to speak English, so it is a tough language to learn, even when living there) has always been subpar, and with ADHD, I never felt confident about moving back to the Netherlands and making a go of it.

My wife does not want to leave her extended family and she feels like she would be isolated in the Netherlands, although I feel she could learn the language faster than I could relearn it and I understand that

Also, I love a lot of things about my country, like English Libraries, cool gadgets, having a car and most everything coming out of the US first. Also, stores open on Holidays is nice and having lower taxes is a perk despite the fact that I would gladly pay higher taxes if it meant better healthcare and schools.

That being said, I would kill for a good bakery that wasn’t super expansive. I would love half way decent dairy products isn’t ice cream and I miss Frituurs!

2

When I lived in Japan it was awesome to be able to tune out American politics and pretend everyone is getting along.

The amount of stress that melted away being away from the American news machine was amazing. I sometimes think about heading back out to Asia just to repeat this experience :)

3

That does sound awesome! I like the idea of Japan, but I feel like my dislike of Fish would be a hinder my enjoyment of the living there. Plus, I like how much space I have in the US (which is definitely not true compared to living in the US).

4

I lived in Japan as well, for 7 years I guess? I am from France.

I didn’t care for fish before Japan, but there, I’d eat some at least twice a week. Fresh, grilled fish is otherwordly good. Also 90% of the time, you won’t have to eat any fish anyway, and plenty of Japanese people don’t eat much or any either.

It’s also funny what you say about language. I have forgotten a fair amount of my home tongue living abroad. It’s been a slowly progressing deficiency: each year, I have been noticing I am losing a bit of it, and that was going back to France for a month each year.

What I loved about Japan was the language, the jungle, the insects.
I, for one, liked the overall misty flavour approach to food. Now I need to only eat about 1/4 the amount of food I used to eat to fill satisfied, and I don’t add salt to anything.
On a more materialist front, I liked the dental care.
I don’t know where to put it, but I used to resent any sort of heat for the first 35 years of my life. Now I need to wear a sweater when it’s below 25C/77F.

5

When I moved to the US as a kid from Germany I was heartbroken. I was shocked by the poverty and open hostility people seem to direct at each other. Of course, we moved to the rural South, and I still live in a Red state.

6

Yeah, that sounds like a shock to the system.

Pennsylvania is a bit of an easier transition. The climate is similar, and there are a lot of Germanish things. The only downside is that when you are Dutch, you get people thinking you are Pennsylvanian Dutch. Not cool, since I am not German.

7

Cool thread. I moved to the USA nearly nearly 30 odd years ago in my twenties.

I fell in love with:

  • The weather: it was Miami, I was from the middle of England.
  • The convenience: any other ex pats remember what it was like trying to BUY something at times outside m-f 9-5 back in the old world?
  • The pro immigrant culture: During my time here, outside of the current fascist Republican party, I have been universally welcomed, outrageously warmly and kindly in fact.
  • The land of opportunity: Its a cliche but very true. If you are willing to work, hell even if you are not, the USA offers far more opportunities than 80’s and 90’s UK/EU.
  • The freedom from history: This would take some explaining but in England and Europe as a whole I felt our lives were filled with too many ghosts from history. The United States was mercifully free of those chains of history and ready to make its own path. Its part of the reason I roll my eyes when people try to lionise certain times in American history or get into the stupid flag waveing stuff. Dont do it! Stop looking back, look forward! The United States is great because it DOESNT respect its past, keep moving!
  • Food (and more recently beer). The USA has the best food in the world. Mainly because it is the rest of the worlds food put together. Yum!
  • Different class system: Of course the USA has a class system but its very different to the UK . Your ability to make money is not going to be hindered too much if you come from the wrong family.
  • The country: The USA has such natural beauty, its like a world treasure.

Things I miss:

  • Healthcare: The USA’s biggest flaw. Its embarrassing in fact. The idea that the greatest nation on Earth somehow doesnt have the ability to provide universal free health care is just stupid.
  • Healthy politics: Thatcher was awful in many ways but I understood and respected the Conservatives position. When I arrived in the USA the Democratic party was corrupt and in control but since that brief period in time Republicans have just been hell bent on destroying rational discourse, the law, the economy and more recently the environment. I still remember when they were the leaders in combating climate change. How far they have fallen.
  • Football: Happily now readily available online but wow there were a few bad decades there when good luck watching a game of football out here. I did enjoy American Football for a while though (I used to go with a friend to the Dolphins games)
  • The English countryside: If you have never seen it, imagine a massive garden that people live in. Thats the English Countryside.

Great thread!

8

You know, you do bring up some wonderful points of this country! Thank you for the reminder.

I do disagree with the food, not because it isn’t true, but it isn’t universal true.

L I feel like grocery shopping in the US is more expansive than in Europe, if you are looking for a certain level of quality. If you have the means, you can find almost anything, but if you don’t, living in Europe is better.

It doesn’t help that I like in Rural PA. When I lived in NJ, I could go to the local Indian Grocery store and get a lot of stuff (like Naan) at a decent price. That isn’t the case in Rural PA.

9

Forget 9-5. When you left, I presume Wednesday afternoon closing was still a thing.

10

Hell yeah! Oh and dont get me started about going to the bloody bank!

That’s fair, yeah I have lived in Miami, San Diego, Orange County and the Bay Area so I have been pretty much surrounded by a huge variety of world food my whole time here. You are correct in other areas of the country that is not the case.

11

By the way, ex-pats living in the US, how long did it take to get use to the idea that taxes were not included in the total price of an item?

12

thirty years… and counting. :)

13

I loved watching Poirot, also for those sights. I didn’t figure they were real!

14

Well I’m from London, a small conurbation in the South East of England, I moved to France then to Canada and am now in the US. I have moved so many times that I’ve forgotten what I miss. I don’t associate my home with a country or some real estate (Google it @Left_Empty), for me it is where my wife and kids are. When I move to a new place the first things I check out are good Indian restaurants and good wings places, have to get your priorities right!

The US is a good place to earn money and pay lower taxes compared with other places I’ve been. However, if you get sick or have kids that need to go through college, then the costs are astronomical compared with the rest of the Western world. Those are my two main bugbears with the US, apart from that things are pretty good.

15

I retired early (in the US) and now live in Ecuador. What I like is the natural beauty, the colonial old town (I live in Cuenca), the fact that I can live without owning or driving a car, the friendly people, the relaxed approach to life, the high-quality fresh produce in markets around the city, the readily available high quality inexpensive health care.

What I don’t like is the Expats who came here to recreate little Cleveland, the strange way that the very nice Ecuadorian people seem to turn into madmen behind the wheel of a vehicle, the fact that it is a culture that values noise, or at least doesn’t value quiet. But I can live with those.

What do I miss? The easy availability of high-quality consumer products. I miss ordering something from Amazon and the instant gratification of getting it tomorrow. I miss reliable mail delivery, there isn’t any here so one must figure out how to manage things without it. Part of life now is anticipating what I’ll need for the next year that I can’t get here and can’t do without, and then making a plan to go to the US to collect it. It’s not really a lot, but I can’t buy clothes or shoes here (I’m considerable taller than most Ecuadorians), and stuff like decent replacement charger cables for phones can be quite hard to find here.

16

Going to the bank is still a problem, compounded by the fact that branches are closing left, right, and centre as everything moves online.

Still, other than the banks, the main problems left are:

  1. The large 24/7 supermarkets still close at 4pm on a Sunday, which is annoying
  2. Most high streets still close at 6, with most having a single day where they stay open til 9 or so. But the ability to buy everything online has stopped me caring about this.

You’re French? Did you never leave Paris, or something? :) I always got the impression the French countryside, especially the north coast, was very similar to the UK. I also got the impression that the south coast was some kind of bleached savannah.

17

Can we do this for states? I loved living in NYC. I do not miss shoveling snow at 3AM.