FACT: Quitting smoking makes me want to kill random people for fun

Everything else
261

I quit smoking on 31st October, after 18 years of smoking a pack or so a day. I was persuaded to grow a moustache for Movember and didn’t feel that smoking and raising money for prostate cancer were ideological bed fellows. I haven’t had a cigarette since, and despite the occasional urge to have just one, can’t see myself having another. Quitting smoking is a great thing to have done, and my son’s asthma has disappeared as a result (or at least a benefit).

On the flip side though quitting smoking seems to have turned me into an angry man. Things that would never have bothered me while I was smoking (which includes pretty much everything) now make me hopping mad.

3 year old son not doing something exactly as I asked him to? Rage! Dogs being slightly pesky? Rage! While I was smoking, there was very little that could knock me off my stride, but since quitting I’ve found that every couple of days I loathe myself a little. Not enough to start smoking again, but I’m not nice now. Frankly I was unpleasant enough as teenager to last a lifetime, so I really don’t want to do this again.

Has anyone else experienced this prolonged anger after quitting? I expected it for the first month or so, but three months after doesn’t feel healthy to me.

262

I quit smoking the day I got married…14 years ago. 3 days later, my wife said, “Oh I know why you are so cranky, you quit smoking!!” Our daughter was born 2 months later- It was the best decision I have ever made.

It will pass…in time. Just keep thinking that, really, quitting IS the best decision you have ever made in your life…then look at your son and you will remember.

263

Anger rage and all around crankiness take a long time to work through. I think it’s a good sign you are aware of it now. I wouldn’t think of it as something that came to you because you stopped smoking. Rather it was there all along and the smoking masked it. It will probably help you to deal with it if you think of it this way because it wasn’t caused by your smoking cessation, rather it is something you will now be able to deal with in a positive way, a problem you had that you were not as aware of before…

I do think it is a common occurrence that this happens. I can’t really remember it myself since I quit 27 years ago and because I spent a lot of that time since getting angry far too easily.

For me it took getting sober a few years and being really unhappy and uncomfortable about my anger and all round curmudgeon affect before I made progress on this. Those types of feelings are the closest I get to feeling like I am drugged (adrenaline rush for example when angry, or some of the other bad feelings that can come with chemically altering my mood). I no longer want to feel that way so I wanted to do something about it.

For you, and me, part of the issue is we no longer have the crutch we turned to when we experienced feelings we don’t want to have. You have to go through those feelings without lighting up. It took me a long time of thinking about this issue and then taking some positive actions before it got better. I hope it will take you less time.

Some of the actions I took were: The saying that this too will pass. These types of feelings usually do pass quickly if you don’t act out on them. Think of giving yourself an option to pause rather than immediately acting or saying anything. A little pause helps immensely. This is a form of the saying about restraint of tongue and pen - stop yourself from reacting in that way and you should find your anger, or bad mood, dissipates more quickly than you might think. You do have that choice you can make about how you react so practice using it. Another thing that helps if you are angry at someone else, is to think that however that person is behaving towards you that triggered your own anger, many times their actions had little to do with you personally. If your son doesn’t do exactly what you tell him to, it may well be there are many other explanations for it and none of them have to do with you personally, he’s not intentionally trying to trigger you. Just an example.

In the end, for me, it has more to do with my knowing the effect I have on other people. I already know I can be a mean summitch but I think about the other people who come into my space now. I care more about them and no longer want to take them hostage with my own behavior. I guess I feel there is rarely anything that I am truly angry about that is worth hijacking other people along with me when I know my anger will quickly pass.

Kudos on quitting and for thinking about how you can be a better person with your wife and son!

264

It’s not entirely that simple. Nicotine addiction kind of kicks in after smoking a single cigarette. But it takes a good deal more than that before it’s severe enough that you can even recognise it as a nicotine craving.

More, if you don’t try to satisfy the craving whenever you feel it, it will both be much less severe, and a constant of your life that you’re fully capable of growing used to.

So… If you smoke maybe 10/day, you’re almost constantly in a state of withdrawal, and that state of withdrawal won’t get very much worse before it’s entirely gone, if you simply stop smoking altogether.

Unfortunately addiction tends to come with a pile of complicated psychological baggage too, so it’s rarely that simple. It might have been for you, but for a lot of people, going from 10/day to 0 is pure hell. Just… Less because of the actual withdrawal than because of their state of mind.

But hey, speaking of smoking… I’ve started smoking again. My life kind of blew up in my face not so long ago (some might have noticed I suddenly didn’t post very much), and suddenly it seemed like a really good idea, I guess.

So now… How the fuck do I stop? I’m already up there at something like 30-40/day, and I have absolutely no idea how I ever managed to quit.

I mean, I’m fully aware that the only thing I get out of lighting a cig, is to satisfy and prolong my addiction. I know they don’t make me any less stressed or relaxed. I have no illusion they somehow make me look more manly or something. Really, at least on an intellectual level, I know the only thing lighting the next cig will do, is make it harder not to commit suicide-by-cigarette.

But man… I cannot seem to get my shit together and just stop. It’s so pathetic it makes me want to howl… And smoke more.

265

For me, some of it was intellectual, some of it was physical, but most of it was psychological.

You say you’ve got the intellectual part down - you know that you smell bad, that your breath stinks, that you feel like shit after smoking, that you can’t breathe, that you’re always tired, that your mouth tastes like an ashtray, that you’re paying money to slowly kill yourself, etc.

For me, it came down to sincerely wanting to quit. Do you want to quit? Seriously and genuinely want it? Not “I should quit” or “my wife wants me to quit” or “my doctor says I better quit” but do you actually want it for yourself?

IME, until I got to that point - where I was sick and tired of feeling like and smelling like shit all the time and genuinely wanted to leave this habit behind - it was pointless trying to quit. I had to want it for myself, not feel obligated to do it by someone else.

Beyond that, I took it one hour at a time, and then one day at a time, and then one week at a time, and then one month at a time. The longer I went without a cig, the more motivating it was to keep up my ‘streak’ and not break it by smoking.

I didn’t use gum or patches or classes or lasers in my ears or anything like that - I just really wanted to be done with it, so I kept at it. Every time I backslid and had even a puff, I restarted my ‘timer’ and began again - get through the first day, then the first week, then month, etc. Before too terribly long, the taste and smell of cigarette smoke became revolting to me. I had to stop hanging out with my smoker friends for about six months, at first because I didn’t want the temptation and then because I got nauseous just smelling their secondhand smoke.

Eventually I was cigarette free, going on 13 years now. I don’t get cravings or think back fondly on the taste of a Camel light or anything - the smell is still pretty disgusting to me, though I don’t get nauseous anymore.

I’m not blessed with unusually strong willpower or anything. If I can do it, anyone can. It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible either. Start with one smoke-free day and go from there. You can do it. Good luck.

266

I just chewed a piece of gum every time I felt like having a smoke. The gum with a crunchy shell works best, because it’s so satisfying to crack into one of 'em.

I also rolled all the chewed gum into a ball next to my desk which eventually grew to the size of a cantaloupe. You probably shouldn’t do that. It grossed people out.

Quitting smoking isn’t difficult, nicotine isn’t mexican black tar, you feel shitty for 2 days, but you can function. Quitting isn’t the problem, it’s easy to get on the wagon, but it’s hard to stay there.

267

Same for me first time around. Basically, when I realised what I was doing at an intellectual level, I suddenly couldn’t stop fast enough. I mean, once you acknowledge smoking for what it is, then how can you possibly want to smoke ever again. It’s not like the withdrawal’s genuinely horrible or anything.

You can do it. Good luck.

Thanks for the vote of confidence. If this had been just a couple of months ago, I would have said “Of course I can, luck has nothing to do with it”. But as much as I know lighting up a cig is about as sensible as punching myself in the face, it’s… Just not enough to make me stop smoking right now.

And as completely inane as it sounds, I’m a bit scared of just giving it a shot without being sure it’ll take. Because I don’t know, but I think I’m in some mental space where that would make it even more difficult.

268

I used cough drops in a similar fashion, but I would not advise this to anyone. There is some ingredient in most cough drops that if you take it in large quantities you will
lol

fart and accidentally shit your pants.

Go with gum or some other oral substitute.

269

No, I get that. That’s not inane at all, I’ve the same way about going to the gym and stuff - almost like it’s better to not try and avoid failing altogether. It may not be the most intelligent viewpoint, and we can openly acknowledge that and be aware of it, but that doesn’t help the psychological block. And it’s not that unusual, IMO.

That said, it sounds like you may have bigger fish to fry right now. Not that your health should take a permanent backseat, but if you’ve had a lot of stress to deal with recently, it’s understandable that you don’t feel like adding the challenge of quitting on top of everything else. There’s no shame in recognizing that now isn’t the best time to take that on, and make a promise to yourself that you’ll quit smoking once the dust settles a bit. (That’s a slippery slope, of course, but hopefully you know what I mean.)

270

I smoked a pack a day when I was between the age of 20 to 30. When I wanted to quit I talked to my doctor, he set me up with a regiment of Zyban and nicotine patches that lasted about 2 months. By the time I was done, I was happy to get off the Zyban and the nicotine cravings were easily manageable. That was 10 years ago. The thing you notice more then any other is how much smokers stink. It’s hard to believe you and everything you owned once smelled like that every day.
Now about 5 years ago I started meeting up with some friends every month or two and I’ll smoke cigars for an evening, but I have no desire to smoke the next day. I think that has more to do with how nasty cigars are. If I tried to smoke cigarettes once a month I have a feeling I’d be right back where I was in no time.

271

I never got into cigars. For me it was all about feeling that sweet burn and immediate nico-jolt as smoke entered my lungs.

272

I’ve been using an electronic cigarette for about 6 months now, and the only time I ever actually crave a real cigarette is when I am drinking. It’s been working well for me, but YMMV.

273

14 years and I still get that occasional craving too. Most annoying but it does pass.

274

I am literally the exact same way. I have smoked like 3 packs a year for the past 3 years, and never really got the urge.

Though I do know what you mean about that sudden craving. Sometimes I will be watching T.V. and someone pulls out a cigarette, and my brain goes “Gimme that now!” and then I am too lazy to go buy any, and it subsides. If I didn’t have friends that smoked, that I drink with, I wouldn’t ever do it.

Keep on fighting the cravings people, even occasional smokers get them. It passes!

275

The funny thing is that I often get cravings for certain illicit drugs that I long ago stopped using. Especially, as you said, when I see someone use them on TV. I often change the channel whenever crack or heroin is shown. Maybe my craving center is burnt out on that.

276

Thanks very much for this response Nixxter. A lot of food for thought there, and something I’d not considered before, but am doing now.

For the record, I quit cold turkey and didn’t find that particularly difficult as this time I really wanted to quit. I think previous attempts failed because I was pushed into quitting by others, and wasn’t ready to do so myself. Now I have no intention of having another as I just don’t want.

Whichever way you go about it though, quitting smoking is a very hard thing to do.

277

Pshaw, quitting is easy, I quit dozens of times.

Now staying off them, that’s the hard part.

278

As simple as it sounds, wanting to quit and having a reason to quit help tremendously. Just quitting for it’s own sake gets you to “quitting is easy…”

I had quit many times either by necessity (living at home or out of money) but it wasn’t until I had a reason to and actually wanted to quit, did it finally stick.

279

Much truth in what you say Cerberus. I too quit cold turkey (a long time ago). I think there is something to the “are you all in, or are you just testing the water with your big toe” approach about that that worked well for us both. It’s a total committment rather than beating around the bush.

Also, what you said about quitting for yourself is hugely important. The fact that you did it for yourself, and not for others, makes it like a gift you gave yourself, and your motives are much stronger that you made the committment to yourself and your motives aren’t divided.

When it came to quitting using drugs and alcohol, this (doing it for myself and not under duress from others) was more of a factor for me (both those were harder for me to quit than smoking, but until that happened, I often had the same thought you are having, that no matter how you slice it, quitting smoking is extremely difficult). It is! You’re right about that. That is a huge accomplishment.

Don’t put yourself at risk to relapsing with it (try to minimize the activities that used to trigger it, I know, hard to do, just about anything triggers smoking since we did it all the time). I guess I am saying is, in your mind, never let go of the thought of what a huge accomplishment this has been, and how great it is the benefits that come with not smoking. Don’t assume you will ever be able to quit again if you start, either. You can work on the mood and anger issues and make progress if you stay stopped with smoking, if you start again, odds are they will move into the background again and you won’t be as aware of them. So, think of the fact that you are moody and aware of your anger as a good thing. It’s an experience others have had, and worked through, and you will be able to as well.

280

I finally quit smoking in 2004 after trying unsuccessfully for many years. If you are addicted to nicotine and you want to quit you have to accept that you are a dirty rotten junkie, and really need to be repulsed by that thought.

“Junkie thinking” and all its wild rationalizations will get you hooked again and again before you know it. It wasn’t until I realized how pathetic my “junkie thinking” was that I was finally able quit.

There are times when I still miss smoking, and the cravings will come back briefly and then pass. Stoopid junkie thinking.