So I booted this up while I was a bit loopy coming down from general anesthesia and here’s how it went from the perspective of inside my head:
wait, I didn’t get to set survival mode anywhere – what gives? – oh, there, it’s a difficulty setting – ooh, look at the warning about how dire it is – okay, this is cool – ooh, look at all this stuff in the help section about survival – okay, this is cool – dadgummit, stupid prologue – oh yeah, the prologue was pretty cool! – back to “dadgummit, stupid prologue” because I’ve seen it all before – wait for the salesman to come to the door – what triggers him anyway> – try stuff, try stuff, try stuff – ding dong! – finally – random dialogue option, random dialogue option, random dialogue option, I don’t care – oh, how to do my stats – alt-tab over to Qt3 to find kristigames’ post – alt-tab back – wait, was that a 1 on strength or endurance – alt-tab back, write it down so I don’t forget – okay, now what triggers nuclear war? – try stuff, try stuff, try stuff – ah, cogsworth saying come and see – TV announcement, now I can go outside – walk, walk, walk, walk – MUSHROOM CLOUD – okay, this is cool – walk, walk, walk, long-ass cinematic of hubby getting shot, baby shaun getting kidnapped – okay, gameplay – I forget, does it matter if I read all the terminal entries? – better safe that sorry – click, tab, click, tab, click, tab – gah, another terminal – click, tab, click, tab, click, tab – hey, a gun, whee! – oops, radroach killed me, how humiliating – respawn at cryo chamber – fuck the terminals – okay, in the open world – skip through cogsworth dialogue, whatever – kill bloatflies – okay, this is cool – leaving the suburbs – worrying about combat, fatigue, ooh, now I’m thirsty – okay, this is cool – oh, right, the dog! – okay, this is even cooler – hello, dog! – gah, mole rats everywhere! – oh, right, the dog has it under control – past red rocket gas station – okay, this is cool – into concord – okay, this is cool – okay, this is way cool – bandit fight, go dog, go people on the roof helping me fight – okay, this is cool – now I’ve got raider clothes and arm armor – okay, this is totally cool, imma go survival the shit out of this game – now what? – oh, right, into this museum bit – okay, this is cool – what, who’s shooting? – two guys above me? – okay, this is cool – shoot, shoot, wait, how do I use stimpacks, was I supposed to put these on a hotkey? – dead – s l o m o d e a d a n i m a t i o n – okay, this is cool, since I deserved that – okay, reloading – hey, wait…
…I’m way back in Vault 111 because I didn’t sleep.
Okay, this is cool, but probably not when you’re loopy on drugs.
-Tom