This is my favorite message board thread of all time.
Moore
1922
Ditto. Though crazy chick sex was always fun, the last one I encountered went into full suicide mode in my apartment, so I left my roomates to deal with calling her family and went downstairs to score some dope, which actually does fix that particular situation.
Ah… age 20.
More:
<crazygirl>: remember what i said yesterday, we cant be in love if there’s miscommunication
<crazygirl>: wagging finger
<crazygirl>: i cant bake
<crazygirl>: for shit
<crazygirl>: i cant make custard either
<crazygirl>: i make an awesome rack of lamb, though
<crazygirl>: can we be best friends? like forever?
<crazygirl>'s status is now “Available” (5/4/2007 3:41 PM)
<crazygirl>: or not
<crazygirl>: we can talk about how fucking awesome i am instead
<ElGuapo>: okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy
<crazygirl>: damn, did you just catch me in a blatant lie?
<crazygirl>: there was a worm snacking on my face
<crazygirl>: sorry
Can you put timestamps on that exchange ElGuapo? When somebody monologues at me with no response in IM I always like to see timestamps to see how long it took them to shift gears between bizarro mental states :)
All in the span of about 30 seconds …
Where are you finding these chicks, Guap? All this IMing and emailing and such makes it sound like you are picking up random internet girls. That’s not necessarily bad, but can be a little dangerous, as you now know.
You should IM her back with :
The hotest sex in the universe isn’t enough to put up with your fuckton of crazy, and last night wasn’t even close anyway, so…you can fill in the rest.
I bet that’ll get a response! ;-)
She sounds awesome… but I do have a thing for crazy asian chicks. Did I tell you about the nutso singaporean swimsuit model…? :)
Moore
1930
I dont know about that ‘you can fill in the rest’ part, because she’ll fill it in with something like:
“…so come over and remove my penis with a dull spoon, and fuck out my eyes with a strap on while skinning me alive with a bowie knife on a large pile of lime, all to the snappy tunes of Herb Alpert”
And here we go:
<crazygirl>: oh come on the least you can do is say something
<crazygirl>: geez
<ElGuapo>: what medication are you actively taking?
<crazygirl>: har
<crazygirl>: none
<crazygirl>: and i passed a psych eval recently so there
Note that I don’t date a lot of girls off the internet. I don’t even remember where I met this girl. She’s been on my friends list forever, one of those people you talk to a few times and never talk to again. It just so happened she asked me out last night and offered to pay.
Though I will not vouch for people you meet in the flesh to be any less crazy, the fresh air DOES seem to weed out the very worst.
She ‘passed’ a psych eval? Why was she even taking one? You need to change your IP, IM and everything else, Mr. Guapo.
Nah, enough sex will make her calm down.
Don’t forget the clown makeup!
Besides, it’s ElGuapo. She’ll be 10 seconds from tearing out his liver through his navel and he’ll glance at the hot tub, raise his eyebrows, and she’ll forgive everything and do him again right then and there while begging him to hold her head under the water and spank her on the ass with his dog’s collar (probably while still attached to the dog).
Glenn
1936
<crazygirl>: and i passed a psych eval recently so there
Best comeback ever.
“I’ll have you know a JURY recently found me LEGALLY COMPETENT. And capable of distinguishing right from wrong!”
She sounds like a keeper.
So, my buddy has been pointing out certain things in your post to me, things that I glossed over in my attempt to read quickly. It takes two to tango, and so as an enabler, you’re currently in the same crazy boat as she is. Cuz the first time you climbed onto the boat, you didn’t know it was going to be crazy, then you got back to the sanity pier, looked back at the crazy boat, THEN GOT BACK IN.
That’s crazy! That’s off the fucking chain!
So, my buddy has been pointing out certain things in your post to me, things that I glossed over in my attempt to read quickly. It takes two to tango, and so as an enabler, you’re currently in the same crazy boat as she is. Cuz the first time you climbed onto the boat, you didn’t know it was going to be crazy, then you got back to the sanity pier, looked back at the crazy boat, THEN GOT BACK IN.
That’s crazy! That’s off the fucking chain!
[QUOTE=ElGuapo]And here we go:
<crazygirl>: oh come on the least you can do is say something
<crazygirl>: geez
<ElGuapo>: what medication are you actively taking?
<crazygirl>: har
<crazygirl>: none
<crazygirl>: and i passed a psych eval recently so there
[QUOTE]
So there!
And from Glenn:
“I’ll have you know a JURY recently found me LEGALLY COMPETENT. And capable of distinguishing right from wrong!”
May this thread never die.
