Food that makes you sick

Laying here in bed in fetal position. Curse you Arby’s! Not really their fault as a lot of food is rejected by my GI tract due to various conditions. Taco Bell, Donuts, Coffee, Green Tea, Apples, just for a start. Surprisingly McDonald’s French Fries are like angels wings on my belly by contrast. Weird huh?

Curious what foods you all eat that will make you pay later with pain, cramps, copious bathroom visits, or turn you into a poison gas machine :)

I love Pepsi. I’d rather drink Pepsi then literally anything else in the world. About 10 years ago I started having horrible stomach pain. I discovered that if I gave up Pepsi, it was okay. Specifically, I can’t have caffeinated Pepsi at night. I can drink caffeine-free Pepsi and, in moderation, regular Coke. During the day, I can drink a Pepsi occasionally but a steady diet hurts my stomach. Coke, though, doesn’t bother me.

Milk makes me ill. I was born allergic to it, but that receded some a year or so into life. It seems to be getting worse again. I had a dish with some stealth cheese in it that gave me cramps for an entire weekend. Fortunately, the lactase pills help.

Fountain Coke makes me wish for death.

Regular Coke from the can and even Cherry Coke from a fountain are fine, Coke from a fountain is a nightmare.

Somewhere around 15 years ago I remember a friend and I went to an Ethiopian restaurant for the first time in Cleveland. Obvious jokes aside, it was actually really good and kind of a cool experience. That evening, we went to a LAN party together. I remember at some point they had to open both doors and have fans blowing out of them because of the gas cloud we generated. It was SO bad. And the frequency was startling.

Lately gyro has been giving me stomach cramps a couple of hours after I eat it. Which is really upsetting, because I would happily subsist completely on gyro (but only if done right, on an autodoner).

I used to have a stomach made of steel. It was glorious. Fast food, Mexican food, Indian food, it didn’t matter man. I’d just pile it all in with no consequences.

I blame 7-11 for breaking me–after a long, terrible night in college fueled by positively ancient-looking, grease-stuffed Taquitos from their hot dog rollers and probably-expired energy drinks from the cooler, I had one of the most visceral food reactions I’ve experienced to this day. Since college, I’ve started getting nasty cramps, bloats, gas, etc.

Luckily for me, I don’t live near a 7-11 anymore (cuz don’t think I stopped eating those goddamned taquitos after that night!), but I find now, the worst thing for me is Zaxby’s. Something about the way they fry their chicken, or some ingredient in their buffalo sauce, or maybe just the seasoning on the fries, I dunno. . . but every time I go there, it’s multiple very unpleasant bathroom trips for hours to recover.

Oh, also, I’ve learned that making myself homemade Chinese food for a week straight with very nearly as much oil as your favorite takeout joint would use (and I made spicy lo mein, kung pao chicken, general tso’s chicken, broccoli and beef, crab rangoons, and scallion pancakes over the course of about 7-8 days) is a great way to send my gall bladder into a panic. That was fun!

Domino’s Pizzas give me the craps and cramps. Also gravy granules can depending on the brand

For me, it’s Oreo cookies, corn (though not corn on the cob for some mysterious reason), blueberries and anything with mayo from Subway. Mayo from any other source, just fine, but mayo from Subway is a surefire unpleasant next few hours.


I used to have a slight allergy to shellfish but that mysteriously went away as I got older. The only time I can remember getting sick after eating something was when the food was expired. If only Plies had made his wise message sooner!

(Hilarious video at the link):

I used to have very bad indigestion, I was a daily user of the 24/hour OTC medications, and prescription even before then. I was even occasionally woken up with reflux, which is not something I would wish on anyone. Certain foods made it worse (pizza or anything with tomato based sauce,) but for the most part, just eating or drinking anything could trigger issues unless I took something for it.

Over the last 2 1/2 years I shed a ton of weight, to the tune of about 65 pounds, and if I can keep it going, perhaps about 10 more. As if it were magic, I have ZERO issues today. And it is a glorious thing.


About two hours after eating sushi I will invariably have to retire with some dispatch to the “reading room” for a few minutes. It’s not that bad… not an emergency or anything, just a loosening of whatever is filling the tubes as it were. It’s certainly not bad enough to make me stop eating sushi, which I adore.

I could eat just about anything without damage until about 20 +/- years ago when I had my gall bladder removed. Since then I have learned to only eat certain foods at home, or to only eat certain foods when I know I will be around a bathroom I trust etc.

Some of it may just be an aging digestive system but much of it came shortly after the surgery.

And yea, last nights sushi didn’t lead to a bathroom emergency but it sure led to some hardcore gas.

As my somewhat-amused looking bemused GP told me, the gall bladder’s apparently mostly there to help the body break down/process grease/oil. So. . . yeah.

(These statements have not been verified by the FDA and Armando Penblade does not know if his GP actually just graduated from a Caribbean diploma mill)

There was a Vietnamese place in town that was close to my house, cheap, and pretty tasty. And my wife and I got food poisoning every time we went…so we stopped going after 3 “unlucky” experiences over a 6 month period. The last was so bad that I was out of work for a day, living the “trapped on the bowl” life.

A few years later, I had my first colonoscopy. If you’re not familiar, there’s “prep” work that people say is the most horrible experience ever, since it involves drinking a gallon of unpleasant liquid that makes you shit uncontrollably for hours. It was an absolute cake-walk compared to the Vietnamese food poisoning.

My GP told me that missing a gall bladder could cause problems, but I have actually had a doctor tell me that it was an old wives tale, that a missing gall bladder would cause no problems. I never went back to that guy.

The last time I was in Hawaii we had dinner on our final night at a place recommended by a local. A nice place with excellent food. We had steamed clams as an appetizer. Well, about three in the morning both me and the wife are taking turns throwing up and crapping in the only toilet in the condo we were renting. We then had to get up, get to the airport and fly home that morning. Thankfully the plane was only half full and we each were able to lay down across several seats and sleep most the way home. And thank you pepto bismol.

I don’t know about apple juice but they might use sulfates as a preservative in red wine. Some people do have trouble with sulfates. It could also be a problem with a fining agent used in the wine.

Condition 1: Being a human being, and not a garbage disposal.

Arby’s: The only food classified as a war crime.